To not get life insurance for me but keep dh's?

[TowerRavenSeven]

Dh and I will be married 19 years. We took out 20 year life insurance policies on both of us 19 years ago so they will expire soon. Since ds was 6 I've worked part time but make very little money, we use it towards holidays/cars, etc. I've kept with the company because the hours are Very flexible (ds just turned 17). I am 8 years older than dh, I am 55.

Dh does very well for himself at work. If I died he could easily pay for my funeral. We had insurance on me when ds was little in case I died and dh had to get a nanny since he travels quite a bit. Now that my insurance is coming to an end I just want to drop mine and keep dh's. If he died without insurance I'd be screwed. He acknowledges this but kind of acts resentful that I want to scrap mine.

I don't see why he's happy to pay premiums on me now that ds is 17 and will me at University soon! Who is being unreasonable here?

As far as I’m aware, life insurance can be paid out to contribute/fund inheritance tax bills, loss of your income, funeral costs and/or a nestegg for your DS.

You having no life insurance means your DH will have to find this cash by other means.

What would those other means be?

The money would massively help him if you died. He may not have the mental state to be able to carry on working.

He acknowledges this but kind of acts resentful that I want to scrap mine

Resentful is a...weird response. Resentful because, if you died he'd be missing out on a big payout? Resentful because, if he died, you'd cash in big style?

Do you have separate budgets (ie a personal spending account or similar) out of which you each pay your life insurance, so he thinks you are somehow...ripping him off by spending the money on yourself and depriving him of a payout , whereas he has to pay his premiums so you will be left a rich widow??

The whole thing is odd. As a couple, decide if one or both of you need insurance, then pay the premium out of shared funds.

Are you aware that even a basic funeral costs about £3,500 these days and going up all the time?

I'd keep yours even just as nest egg for dc

Sorry I didn't get back to this sooner. If I died I can't imagine dh not working because of grief. I know he loves me and we are happy, but he can be a workaholic. Even if he couldn't work for 6-12 months, he'd be fine financially.

Yes it is odd, that's the aibu! All our money is shared. So its not like I pay any of the premiums from my job. Why wouldn't he want to save the premiums? Even if it's minimal it does still add up each month.

I know funerals are expensive. He would be fine - dh is a high earner. As for ds, I unfortunately inherited early from my mother 20 years ago. We've put the money aside for ds and it is a considerable sum (over 100k)

Now do you see why I think dh is being u?

If he's paying the premiums and he wants to continue, why wouldn't you just let him?

But he isn't BU. He's paying for them, it doesnt affect you in any way so what does it matter?

Just keep the life insurance, if something happened (fingers crossed it doesn’t) you have no idea how he would react and the money could mean he takes longer off work and focuses on your DS OR some of that money could go to your DS.

Wow you really are looking for an argument.

It's almost like you don't feel he should be in any way "profiting" from your death. What's the issue?

Perhaps look at a different policy for you

Don't go on any parachute jumps any time soon OP. Sounds like he's trying to bump you off.

If he wants the security to know he wouldn't have to work if you died, maybe he wouldn't be as fine as you think re work. I'd just let him buy it if he thinks he would need the coverage.

Dh was talking about cancelling our life insurance

I think its 150k each...cant remember

Ive said that he should cancel mine but i need his

I must ask him if he is still thinking of keeping them or getting rid of mine

But if he wants to pay for both still i cant really see the issue

She won’t have inheritance tax bills because she’s married and it sounds like she pretty much earns enough to pay for her own cost of living so her income wouldn’t need replacing. It takes it down to funeral costs, which is a relatively trivial expense in your family budget which you could readily self-insure for. I’m with you OP - I’m all for buying insurance against rare events that would be financially catastrophic, but buying insurance against things that you could handle just fine is an unnecessary contribution to insurers’ and brokers’ expense and profit margins.

What if you were ill for a long while then died? The insurance may give him security to not need to work and be able to care for you and grieve (ours pays out on a terminal diagnosis).

YAB(Somewhat)U

You're looking at this in a cold rational way. He's not - it's kinda emotional, he wants you to be equal.

Frankly - we all spend money on things we don't need. This would make him happier than not having it - you say you're well off, it makes him happy for you two to be treated the same, so why push it? There's no desperate need for the money, and it gives him a sense of equality.

This is one of these cases where you might be technically correct, but there are emotions around it and they matter more. Keep the life insurance, have a little chuckle to yourself about how your husband has his irrational emotional moments and go find some other way to save money (check out something like money saving expert instead)

Thanks everyone. I really wasn't trying to be difficult. You all are right, we will look for another policy for me when mine is up if that's what he wants.