To tell her to sod off?

[Thepinkyponk]

Member of my family isn't very good with technology (but cant be bothered to learn how to do things themselves) so they regularly ask me to do it all for them.

Example: looking up telephone numbers and email addresses for companies online which would take them 10 seconds to do, setting up a new phone, showing them how to install apps, printing photographs at kiosks or other simple tasks which regularly crop up on a weekly basis.

I'm 6 months pregnant, have painful SPD so struggle to walk very far at the moment which they know. I also have a toddler at home.

I've been asked to meet them in town which is 30 minute bus ride away, drag DS out in the cold needlessly to print some pictures off their phone in boots because apparently it's easier to get me to do it than ask for help in store.

I haven't responded yet.

AIBU to think this is pure cheek and tell them to sod off.

People like this will never learn if they can constantly ask someone else, (you listening OH?), the staff at Boots are trained and paid to use their machines, let them do their job.

Perfect. Job done hopefully.

Your reply: Nice and polite.

Her reply: Rude!!! Not even asking how you are or sorry that you're not feeling great.

Sorry, but she's a taker!

She's quite the rude one isn't she? Clearly doesn't associate any value at all to your time.

Hopefully she doesn't contact you again about such trivial stuff that she can sort herself.

If I were you, OP, I'd have a document on my laptop with links to the things that she asks you about on a regular basis and if she asks, reply by copying and pasting in the link to the information. Just that and nothing else.

Well done with your replies today. Hope you're not in too much pain.

I've told her no end of times she needs to teach herself how to do these things because I'm not always going to be available to do them for her, she makes no effort to try.

Not long ago she text me asking me to look up a contact number on Google, instead of doing it for her I explained how to do it, she apparently forgot soon after and hit me up asking me to look up something else a few days later.

I rarely answer the phone to her these days but she then resorts to text.

If I didn't know better I'd she she does it on purpose to annoy.

I get you. My boss does this kind of thing too. I am not her PA but she seems to forget that. Alas, I can't tell her to sod off because I still need to pay my rent...

You've just been enabling her behaviour all this time, so it's great that you've put your foot down and said no. Not being able to google some basic information is pathetic, even most ks1 children these days know how to use google.

Does she live alone? Does she work? I wonder if it's actually the company and human contact she wants?

I’d respond with the same sort of answer every time. ‘Can’t do it today and busy the rest of the week’. She needs to learn stuff herself and be more self reliant.

She's in her early 60's, perfectly able bodied, young spirited and intelligent. She does live alone and doesn't work.

She's lazy in general and expects others to do everything for her. Even my poor DM who's older than her gets phonecalls asking her to go to the shops and pick something up most days.

You sound like her PA! She needs to find another dogsbody. She probably wants attention too. Which with the best will in the world, you aren't required to give 24/7. She's still fit & got all her marbles FGS! Be firm.

She's just a lazy CF then!!

Tell her that from now on you're going to be cruel to be kind: you've realised that you're not doing her any favours by doing all this stuff for her, and she really needs to learn by doing it all for herself, as your mother has done. Can you enlist your mother to support you?

I'd block her, TBH. It's not like you haven't asked her many times to lay off.

She needs a hobby or to volunteer if she finds excuses to have company because her day drags. Book club, film club, sewing circle, charity shop volunteer, befriending scheme volunteer. Church group?

She is a lazy CF, absolutely don't enable her behaviour. Tell her no, it is not convenient. It is because people enable her, that she does not have to do those thing for herself.

apparently it's easier to get me to do it than ask for help in store

Easier for her.. Significantly less easy for you.

Booking stuff for her I'd probably do, because you can do that from the comfort of your own home, but dragging myself out with considerable discomfort would be where I'd draw the line.

I agree she's been enabled for a long time so expects it as standard now.

It puts a strain on the relationship and makes me less likely to want to spend time with her because there's always a catch. She'll invite me out for lunch with no strings then when I arrive she'll bombard me with "can you do this, and that, and look this up"

Early 60s??? I thought she was probably in her 90s or something.

Bloody hell! She must still be working so deals with technology all the time. CF. Bone idle.

Stick to your guns OP and hope you feel better.

To give an even clearer example of her laziness whilst on the subject.

She has two cats and when my DM visits her, she asks DM to change the tray for her

She has two cats and when my DM visits her, she asks DM to change the tray for her

I’d be pointedly asking if she was struggling to live independently, and if things are that bad making she should be looking at sheltered housing if she’s finding basic tasks so difficult.

OP - This one's easy just say

'That's how you learn. You've asked me to help so, you learn then you won't have to drain my resources depend on me'

I think your DM needs to tell auntie to change her own cats' tray - what a lazy cah!

@PennyMordauntsLadyBrain I want to say that so badly

You need to look after yourself and your child. I wouldn't drag a small child in this cold weather, to help an aunt with photos (specially with spd). You ll have to start saying, " no, sorry not today."