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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To ask what you would tell a younger you?

163 replies

Diel · 15/01/2019 19:59

I stumbled upon a photograph of me as a teenager. It got me wondering what I wish I could have known then.

Don't be so flattered by male attention...it doesn't make you special unless it is the right attention.

Plan a little bit more for the future

You are as good as anyone else. Don't apologise for being you.

Enjoy the freedom of being young.

What would you say?

OP posts:
9thCircleInHell · 16/01/2019 14:33

Move away for uni, don't go to the local one because of your boyfriend

Don't marry the first man who tells you he loves you.

You are awesome.

inthekitchensink · 16/01/2019 14:37

Calm down, your as yet undiagnosed mental health issues mean the europhia from drinking & flirting & being over the top will cause A LOT of problems, bad decisions, anxiety & poor health. Chill the fuck out, listen rather than speak, and stop spending money recklessly- bin the credit cards & cut the overdraft! And none of the guys you obsess & cry over are worth it.

Badwifey · 16/01/2019 14:44

Just change college course rather than drop out

You are worthy of love

Follow your gut. You were right. Now it's too late.

MrsPinkCock · 16/01/2019 14:59

To 15 year old me:

Go to the police.

None of it was your fault.

I’d be a lot less of a fucked up adult if someone had told me the above.

NopSlide · 16/01/2019 15:03

Get a job and save your money.

Justkeeepsmiling · 16/01/2019 15:10

Just... Don't... Do.... It 😁

thecatsthecats · 16/01/2019 15:15

You look great. A few guys are actually flirting with you, in spite of you not really fitting in.

Don't eat so much at university. Or after.

All the mean girls? They will end up espousing your politics and your feminism a good two decades after you did. You will be smug about this, because let's face it, some things don't change.

Seniorschoolmum · 16/01/2019 15:29

Have more faith in yourself, you are doing fine.

Take most men’s opinions with a good humoured pinch of salt.

pineapplebryanbrown · 16/01/2019 15:31

Marry the rich farmer not the loser with sexy hair, he goes bald in the end.

OneStepMoreFun · 16/01/2019 15:38

I'd tell me: Your father is off his narcissistic rocker. Don't try to please him. Don't expect anything from him. Don't under any circumstances trust what he says, accept his belief systems or copy his behaviour.

Money isn't evil (see above). Earn some. Save some. Spend some on yourself. It's not greedy to want shoes that fit with no holes in the soles.

Don't be hard work. People like easy company. Lighten up.

Don't be a doormat. You've been trained to care for loonies. Don;t find the nearest loony and care for them instead of him. care for yourself.

I do wonder how life might have been if I'd seen the light earlier. Though I may not have met DH and I am very happy now.

HerRoyalNotness · 16/01/2019 15:41

Go to uni
You don’t need your parents permission to leave or live your life
Travel, make friends, have fun
You’re healthy, slim and pretty
Exercise!

Ragwort · 16/01/2019 15:46

Stay single.

Spunkymonkey2019 · 16/01/2019 15:51

Seriously revise not just enough that you scrap through everything!

You really don’t need to go out 7 nights a week!

Stop worrying about your mother, if she wants to go out every night and get drunk then role in at 2am, let her, stop staying up worrying about her and only have 3 hours sleep each night before getting up for school

Tell a teacher what your home life is like, they may have been able to help you

Stop worrying about what people think of you (remember all the popular girls who everyone wanted to be friends with and all the boys fancied- look at them now🤣)

Talk to a teacher about how you are feeling mental health wise. You may have been diagnosed with bipolar as a teen then rather than at 35. It could have made a big difference to the exam results you came out with

You will get through all of this okay. You will get into university. You will get a good job. You will have amazing children. So don’t think you will ensnared up like your mother!!

Spunkymonkey2019 · 16/01/2019 15:52

*ensnared end up like your mother

TrueFriendsStabYouInTheFront · 16/01/2019 15:54

I think about this all the time, so many regrets!!

Save half of everything you earn and get on the damn property ladder

Never get into debt (except mortgage)

Look after your teeth better

You are not fat so don't treat yourself like you are

Learn to drive before 'the fear' kicks in

Raise your standards!

user1andonly · 16/01/2019 15:55

Don't opt out of you company pension scheme. I know it seems like a lot of money going out of your paltry wages and old age seems like something that's never going to happen to you but let the money sit there. You'll be so glad of it when you're pushing 50.

Honestly could kick my young self for that one!

Shednik · 16/01/2019 16:02

Don’t take any notice of your mother.

You’re gay. Nobody gives a hoot. You have a chance to be happy by coming out.

You’re not fat or ugly.

Go to medical school. It will be hard work but not as hard as unfulfilled dreams.

user1andonly · 16/01/2019 16:04

Oh and, you are not fat! You may have a bit of a tummy (you come from a long line of apple shaped women so not much you can do about that!) and are maybe a size bigger than your skinny friends but You. Are. Not. Fat.

You will get fat if you're not careful though so go steady on the spam fritters in the school canteen Blush

PerfectPeony · 16/01/2019 16:05

Nothing. I had to make all these mistakes to get where I am now. Smile

Kemer2018 · 16/01/2019 16:14

Capitalise more on your looks before they fade! Don't be modest, shy or retiring. If others are jealous, fuck 'em and go for what you want.
Pursue dance
Don't give your lovely self to scumbag dimwits. You're worth far more.
Stick with the 2 big employers, rather than bailing because you think you're not capable. They never complained.
Brush and floss else you'll lose 2 teeth before 45. Shame.

Alsonification · 16/01/2019 16:17

I wouldn’t change anything despite being divorced & a single mother because I like how my life turned out but I would say, you’re not fat!!! and also, save better!!!

lubeybooby · 16/01/2019 16:20

The shit you have been fed about working on a relationship does not apply when your partner is abusive and only one of you works on it. Your gut instincts are spot on and you should drop the idiot and leave

Original poster
Diel · 16/01/2019 23:13

I'm loving seeing how people can see so many great thing in young them

OP posts:
Thierryhenryneedisaymore · 16/01/2019 23:24

Doesn't apply to me but my lovely friend recently said she wished she had chosen a better dad for her children, that it is soul destroying sharing them with him and worrying all the time they are there because he is a fickle, selfish, childish idiot.
That was really very sad Sad

BunsOfAnarchy · 16/01/2019 23:42

To my younger self - 'Thank you. For taking so much shit while being so vulnerable.'

To my pregnant self (last year) - 'its going to be a really tough journey. But trust your instinct. You were right. You KNEW. Someone will listen. And dont beat yourself up. Stay in your bubble. Enjoy every minute. Because in a few months she wont care for your cuddles. She will always want to be put down. And then you will miss it so much. So dont get too tired of holding her all the time. And dont get too fed up of her wanting to be close to you every second of every day.'