AIBU To ask what you would tell a younger you?

[Diel]

I stumbled upon a photograph of me as a teenager. It got me wondering what I wish I could have known then.

Don't be so flattered by male attention...it doesn't make you special unless it is the right attention.

Plan a little bit more for the future

You are as good as anyone else. Don't apologise for being you.

Enjoy the freedom of being young.

What would you say?

Be more ambitious. Don’t let your ambition be squashed by your love life.
Keep your friendships and social life at all costs.
Don’t believe what men tell you without asking a lot more.
Go and see your dad.
In honesty, pretty much all my problems have stemmed from my dad and wanting male attention and love. I have accepted far less than my worth.
I’m my career many of my industry peers are extremely successful and I’m in a much more low level management role than I would have considered years ago.

You are better than that.
You are good enough.
You look lovely.

Above all, value yourself.

Go to university abroad

Push yourself

Be bossier

Do the course you want. Ignore your parents making you feel bad and telling you it's not good enough. Just do the bloody course!

As you can tell, I did not do the course and regret it to this day.

Oh and ffs girl, you're not fat. You're strong as feck.

Work harder
The job was there to be done not looked at.

Work on low self esteem instead of using alcohol for confidence.

Don't try so hard in school. It doesn't really matter and you're better off being a carefree teenager with average grades than working yourself into a ball of anxiety.

Don't go to university.

Care less about what people think.

Don't waste money.

Everything gets better with time.

Don't let your mother drain every ounce of confidence from you. You're intelligent and capable. You don't need her.

You feel different because you have ASD
You are not ugly
Do not consider adopting. I love my DC and will do everything I can for them but I wish I'd never heard of adoption. No support, left to cope alone with a violent child
My life has been so much harder than I could ever have imagined and I didn't ever think I would be physically attacked on a regular basis by a child

Look after your teeth. And skin.

Agree with pp....don't adopt. You'll regret it forever and your husband will ( silently) resent you for talking him into it.

Also don't use sunbeds

You're not fat, despite what your mother keeps telling you.
You're good enough exactly as you are. Stop trying so hard to make people like you, it sometimes has the opposite effect.
You're prettier than you think, but you really need to work on your dress sense.
Oh, and study creative writing.

Things will be better than they have been and the family you have when you are older will make up for all the shit that has gone before. Oh and your sister will be happy and you will still always be there for each other.

Value yourself more and don't believe it when you're told your not good enough (years of being put down by my M led me to marrying a narcissistic emotionally abusive man).

Talk to your friends and tell them the truth about your life rather than pretending everything is ok.

Appreciate your self more, don't marry your very nice boyfriend, he will change the minute you do.

You don't have to have a career in mind, to go to uni. What are you good at? Get a degree in that.

Don't get married at 18. He's a great guy but there's other things you can do first and, if he's that great, he'll still be there.

It is so poignant how many of these are about being fat, or not being fat, or thinking we were fat. I had it too, and I wasn't fat either. Do you think teens and young women are still this anxious about fat now? more? less?
It is so, so sad that we torture ourselves so deeply about this and years later it's what we remember worrying about, what we'd tell our younger selves.
I wish we could just stop. For all women. Not stop eating healthily and trying to be active, but stop the depth of self-hatred, angst, defining ourselves / our worth by our bodies at those early ages, the identity issues that go with it - all that baggage.
I'm sure that would make it much easier to manage weight too, if it was just another thing and wasn't tied up with so much baggage.

Do not marry him

Like really, don’t.

Carry on with the exercise. You'll get lazier.

Leave him. The aggressive behaviour and cheating only gets worse. You like you knees not dislocating at will.

Don't get fat.
Don't sleep around.
Make that move abroad.
Don't stand up that cute French guy.
Don't agree to catch in that fucking horrible horse.

Value and nurture family and friendships. Make time. Don't take offence at trivialities. Build people up and appreciate those who build you up.

Don’t listen to your parents advice (in fact always do the opposite).

Be more confident.

Save some money up instead of spending it on clothes and nights out.

I wouldn't say a thing. I only know what I know now by going through life experiences.