To be uninvited and fuming?!

[PartyPooper86]

NC as this could be outing! An acquaintance of mine - let's call her 'A' - is having a big birthday party this weekend. She is very good friends with my best friend 'B' so I was going along with her. Bought an outfit, gift , changed some plans, was looking forward to seeing 'A' again and from what 'B' told me, she was looking forward to seeing me.

Today 'B' gets a message from 'A' to say I can't come to the party. The reason? An 'ex' of mine (Who I was seeing for a month, 2 years ago and who is DP with 'A's best friend) said he will not go if I'm there. 'A's best friend also said she won't go if her boyfriend/my ex isn't going so therefore I have been uninvited to ensure they go. I haven't spoken to or seen this 'man' for 2 years and had no plans to speak to him other than a polite hello if we were in close proximity. Things didn't end on the best of terms but not the worst either considering it was only a month long 'romance'.

I get that 'A' can invite who she wants but I can't quite believe the immaturity of it all and the fact she didn't message me herself. So AIBU to turn up to eat the buffet,drink the drink and leave to be annoyed by this debacle?!

I like the Sound of your friend B, hope you have an amazing night. What gift did you get for A ? Is it something you’d like to keep for yourself ?

How old are you lot? Sounds v childish to me....

A is 15 isnt she. You cant come as x wanted come. Seriously id avoid this sort of childish behaviour.

You must be great in bed if you are still a threat after this all this time! Any tips?

Seriously try to not let it bother you and do something fun instead

How very insecure that couple must be!

Your best friend sounds lovely 😊

Hope the present is something you'll like for yourself

Was your ex's new dp gonna scratch your eyes out and pull your hair?! Ffs!

Whenever I have hosted parties, I have always had a policy of giving no quarter to this sort of nonsense. 'Waaah, I won't come if [person] is going to be there' gets 'Up to you, but I expect you to behave yourself if you do show up. I'm not uninviting anyone.'

Are you all 15? I don’t think I’ve ever heard such juvenile, self-dramatising nonsense, and it’s not clear to me that you were actually invited in the first place...?

YANBU. Absolutely ridiculous. I'd be embarrassed to be so childish.

I would be so tempted to message A and say of course you understand, you feel so sorry for XP new DP. It must be so embarrassing for her to realise XP has never got over you.

If you weren't bothered about the friendship, I so would do this.

Seriously, though A's friend and her DP/your ex really need to get a grip.

That's very odd, it ended two years ago, and only lasted a month and he says he won't go if you are there?

Is there a back story here on the break up?

God i’m cringing for them all, yikes

@DaphneFanshaw her gift was perfume and champagne so I will definitely be cracking the champagne open on Saturday!

@Parthenope Yes I was invited and was going along with 'B'. Birthday party is a 21st and ex and his DP are 30ish. Don't know if I should be expecting that from a 21YO (probably not) but definitely not a couple in their 30s.

Could he have been seeing you both at the same time and he's lied to his GF about when he was with you and is worried it will come out that there was an overlap?

@Bluntness100 Nothing big happened but these were my reasons for ending things with him - It got intense very quickly, he would say that I'm 'going to go with other men' when I went out (I've never cheated in my life), called me by his ex's name twice in the month we were together and once sat in my house saying absolutely nothing to me - very odd!!!

Thank goodness for Friend B - absolute arseholes the rest of them ... have a wonderful time - you'll smell great and drink lovely champagne

Clearly you made a much bigger impact on him than he did on you! You must have really got under his skin in some way for him to not be over you in 2 years after dati g for 1 month.

Sounds like

1. you swerved a terrible relationship by splitting up with ex

2. ex is clearly one of those men who gets off on making their girlfriends uncomfortable about their predecessors

3. friend who has fallen for this might need your shoulder to cry on in the coming months

4. friend B is awesome

5. there's a lot of people who need to grow up and expand their dating pool

BTW my birthday is soon - buy me champagne and perfume and you're welcome to my party

B is cool. Gate crash half way through the party for the hell of it.

Hip hip hooray for friend B. Have a great night.

If A invites you to party and has not contacted you directly to explain that she feels compelled to rescind the invitation, then you are still invited.

That you & B might start the evening out at a bar & then go to the party, all well and good as you are both invited 😊.

If Ex & whasserface are there, there smile politely, shake hands and ask ‘Have we met? Do you come here often ? ‘

B is cool. Gate crash half way through the party for the hell of it. is a better way of putting it 😎.

Sounds like A has been put in an awkward position. Especially if she’d originally asked you if you were ok with it, sounds like she was being ‘normal’ about it but her mate and DP have kicked off. I imagine she’s embarrassed by them and doesn’t want to tell you face to face because of it. If she’s normally ok, I’d not hold it against her, and yes, have a lovely time with B.

How old are you lot? Sounds v childish to me....

I can't imagine why you're tarring the OP with the same brush; she's done nothing wrong.