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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the CSA could've told me this sometime in the last 22 years?

33 replies

iaintdead · 15/01/2019 18:15

I've just got in from my shift to find a brown envelope from the CSA . I was very surprised as last time I heard from them was sometime in the early 2000s , plus I thought they had changed to CMS ?
Anyway, they have basically had a review of historic child support agency cases, ( letter says " the government" is reviewing ) mine included , and it seem that " regretfully" collecting the unpaid child maintenance owed to me is not possible and they've permanently written it off.
Well, thanks ? Thanks for nothing I suppose .
I've never had any maintenance ever. AIBU to think they might have been able to let me know they would never be able to collect the debt ( I'm not sure how much it must amount to , DS and I are NC with his excuse of a father) and I should have been told years ago that they had little chance of ever getting anything for DS?
I hoped that eventually DS might have a little something but it seems the CSA/CMS has few teeth to get anything out of useless parents ?
Anyone else had a letter recently ?
( sorry, that was a long one!)

OP posts:
Bunbunbunny · 15/01/2019 18:17

Is there no way to appeal?

ChrisjenAvasarala · 15/01/2019 18:20

How can they just write it off. As soon as he was first told he needed to pay then he is legally required to pay and if he doesn't he is meant to go to prison.

I would be involving my MP, even if the decision couldn't be appealed it would at least bring this appalling behaviour to the public.

Original poster
iaintdead · 15/01/2019 18:23

It seems not. No info on the letter other than the gov website . I recall sometime 2005ish I was asked if I still wanted them to collect the debt and I wrote back in the pre paid envelope but I heard nothing more. The letter says we won't contact you again over the unpaid child maitenance, yours sincerely, child support agency.

They've written it off, end of story.
Useless.
I have a photo but it has the father's name on, I don't think I'm allowed to post it am I?

OP posts:
WhenISnappedAndFarted · 15/01/2019 18:25

You could cover the personal details with a bit of paper and then post it up so no details are showing

Original poster
iaintdead · 15/01/2019 18:27

Good idea! Hold on!

OP posts:
AlisonW1982 · 15/01/2019 18:27

Can you not challenge it?!

Surely it just reinforces the idea that they have no teeth if they just write it off??

Surely ex will earn above minimum income thresholds, and / or be traceable until he's no longer around? (Paying ni contributions, paying tax, registering for a gov service, applying for a driving license or passport..?)

ResistanceIsNecessary · 15/01/2019 18:28

Get your MP involved - that's disgraceful.

dementedmummy · 15/01/2019 18:28

Not sure where you are but in scotland a debt prescribes 5 years after the last acknowledgment was made. If Ex DH hasn't responded in over 5 years, and the csa haven't undertaken enforcement action the debt is extinguished. Could be the reason for this? Pretty poor show though both from cla and ex DH. How come you never chased them up in 13 years? (Not judging, just nosy!) x

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 15/01/2019 18:30

Have you made any contact with them to chase they money up since your last contact with them.

It’s not surprising they’ve written the debt off if no contact has been made in over a decade.

ExFury · 15/01/2019 18:31

@dementedmummy Child support debt isn’t written off in that way (or by bankruptcy either)

Original poster
iaintdead · 15/01/2019 18:31

Is this readable?

To think the CSA could've told me this sometime in the last 22 years?
OP posts:
Mooey89 · 15/01/2019 18:35

That’s bloody awful OP.
I would look into an appeal or getting your MP involved. What a wanker your ex is.

Original poster
iaintdead · 15/01/2019 18:36

I'm rubbish at this! Not in Scotland no. I've replied to any letter they've sent me and I've lived at same address . I've contacted them to say I wanted the debt chasing when asked and in first few years I called them to tell them where he was living and working and once what car he drove. I don't see what else I could've done to be fair.

To think the CSA could've told me this sometime in the last 22 years?
OP posts:
Bishalisha · 15/01/2019 18:37

Write to your MP. Mine helped as much as he could when I was having difficulties.

Stupid question but is your ex definitely still alive?

Autumnchill · 15/01/2019 18:38

I'm outraged on your behalf! They might as well have just sent a letter saying 'it feels a bit too much like hard work so basically we can't be bothered'

DarthLipgloss · 15/01/2019 18:38

I am owed 3 and a half grand for my twins.
Occasionally I'd get £15 a fortnight but then nothing for years. I got a letter last summer asking if I would let them write off the debt. I rang them, told them no.
They tried to persuade me to write it off. I still said no, and it was left standing but the CSA told me I had virtually no chance of it ever being collected...

SaveKevin · 15/01/2019 18:39

My MIL had one last year it said
"would you like to follow it up?"
She sent the letter back saying yes please and they replied
"sorry its too long"
Which is not surprising given her youngest is 35!!!!!!! But they initiated the contact!!!
Theres a new historical debt department for outstanding council tax and that sort of thing and i think its linked to some sort of going through historical debts and ticking the box they have dealt with everything.

Your ex is clearly a knob though

WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup · 15/01/2019 18:42

I wonder if they know something you don't? Is it possible he has died? They say can't.

Original poster
iaintdead · 15/01/2019 18:47

He could be dead I suppose. ( no loss to the world I assure you !) The man is an abusive fuck and I wish him infinity pain.
I think I'm just surprised they've dropped it.
@Autumnchill that's exactly how it seems!
I thought the had to go after CSA debts ?
The gov website at the bottom is the maintenance strategy outcome meetings 2017 and the conclusion they came to about CSA payments, it's a lot of document downloads, bit too much to read through after a 12 hour shift .
@Savekevin 35 years has got to be a record! Wow.

OP posts:
DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 15/01/2019 18:48

Fucking disgraceful.

viques · 15/01/2019 18:51

They should never write maintenance debts off. Suppose the cf deadbeat daddy won the lottery, it would be Sod's law and you could only hope he turned out to have a champagne allergy, but there would be no excuse for backdated payments not to be honoured! And such a good story for the DM......

whatsthepointthen · 15/01/2019 18:52

Same happened to me! they wrote of all exes arrears so now he owes nothing, and has never paid a penny Confused it also said the decision was final
and no appeal.

StillMe1 · 15/01/2019 18:54

I wonder if all the failed cases in the CSA realm will be admitted in this way.

@dementedmummy - thank for that info re debt. Someone owes me money and I think ExH is at the back of the failure to pay the debt in full.

flameycakes · 15/01/2019 18:55

If the money was owed the government they go all out to get it back, terrible way to treat you x

BlimeyCalmDown · 15/01/2019 18:58

I'm in a similar position as the ex works cash in hand to avoid paying anything, still like it kept on file though incase he ever comes into money.

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