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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teacher in school

86 replies

Stepawayfromthecakes · 15/01/2019 13:36

I’m currently volunteering at a local school as part of a college course - Supporting Learning and Teaching in School. I’m enjoying the college course and working with the children.

The teacher whom I’m working with doesn’t seem to like me at all. I do six and half hours in school each week. I’ll do any task she gives me and I also act as a 1:1 for a child in the class. Mostly she doesn’t speak to me, only speaking to me about school matters, I often don’t get a break or a drink. I’m not to go into the staff room. I sent her a Christmas card and small gift. She didn’t acknowledge it.

I’m not a confident person, full of self doubt. I feel intimidated and I

OP posts:
Original poster
Stepawayfromthecakes · 15/01/2019 13:37

Oops, posted too soon! I’m not sure how to handle it.

OP posts:
Thehop · 15/01/2019 13:38

How are the other teachers with you?

Runyoucleverboyandremember11 · 15/01/2019 13:39

Have you talked to the principal? or maybe someone in your college?

ClaudiaWankleman · 15/01/2019 13:41

Who said you're not to go into the staffroom?

instasham · 15/01/2019 13:41

She sounds horrible.

You need to develop some confidence because you don’t deserve to be treated like that.

I would honestly just start treating her the way she’s treating you.

Cold and very matter of fact.

Ellisandra · 15/01/2019 13:42

She’s rude for not acknowledging your card and gift. It’s a manic time for teachers though, so if it was in a pile of last day cards I’d be prepared to think she was just busy. Or if you gave it in person and she said “thanks” as you handed it over, plenty of people would think the acknowledgment done.

Is that 6.5 hours split into more than one session? If so, I don’t see why you need a break, a drink, or a visit to the staff room! (do you not have a water bottle in class with you?)

Some people are just mean, and she may be one of those. But consider that you also might be asking a bit much? (I think this because of the breaks comment)

End of the day, you’ll have good and bad experiences - try to be resilient and don’t take it to heart. Even the bad experiences help you shape the way you want to be yourself!

Pigflewpast · 15/01/2019 13:42

Can you talk to your course tutor? Why can't you go in the staff room, that sounds unusual. My dd volunteered in a school and was treated as any other member of staff, in the staff room, Christmas treats shared etc. It sounds horrible for you. Is it just this teacher or do the other staff seem unfriendly too?

Original poster
Stepawayfromthecakes · 15/01/2019 13:44

I haven’t spoken to the Head. I don’t want to be seen as difficult. I get on really well with the other staff, it’s just this one person who doesn’t seem to like me. I haven’t worked for a while as I’ve been a SAHM and my dh works away a lot so it’s taken a bit of courage for me to do this. I’ve got so little confidence. All the other staff get in with this teacher, it seems that it’s just me.

OP posts:
Pachyderm1 · 15/01/2019 13:45

Why can’t you use the staffroom? Has she said you can’t?

Alieeeeeens · 15/01/2019 13:46

Is there someone in the school “responsible” for you like a college liaison or mentor?

You could just approach her and ask what her problem is? Who said you can’t go in the staffroom? It may be because there’s confidential information that you’re not allowed to be privy to? If that was the case, if you were my TA, I’d be spending break with you and bringing you a drink tbh! What do you do over break time if you don’t get a break?

Regardless, not acknowledging your card and gift is SUPER rude - maybe ask if she got it and if she says yes hopefully she’ll feel a bit ashamed that she never thanked you!

Regarding only speaking about school matters - teachers have very little else to talk about to be honest! We’re really quite boring people in that respect!

I hope it gets better and doesn’t put you off your course/career choice in education! We need people like you! X

Original poster
Stepawayfromthecakes · 15/01/2019 13:46

Regarding breaks, other TAs are allowed breaks, covered drinks etc in the classroom.

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 15/01/2019 13:47

Also: it’s a really busy job - when do you want her to chit chat with you about non school related things, in your 6.5 hours a week? I’d definitely feed it back to your college - this teacher may not be a good mentor for college volunteers.

But you may also need to adjust your expectations of conversation. Presumably you’re only there for a short duration of your course? From her point of view, you may be the latest in the long line of volunteers and she’s just busy doing her job and doesn’t want to make small talk.

Is she your only contact in the school, or is someone else officially your mentor?

Don’t get me wrong, sounds like she could be LOADS better with you. But I think you should be careful about taking it so personally - she may just be over worked and with a different style to you. Or, she may be a cow.

Alieeeeeens · 15/01/2019 13:47

Also if you get on with others, could you ask them if she has a problem with you?

I assumed you were a teen just out of school! Apologies! Are you older than the teacher? She might feel threatened by you, especially if the kids like you!

Original poster
Stepawayfromthecakes · 15/01/2019 13:48

When the other staff go to the staff room during play time, I have to wait in the classroom. I feel like giving up.

OP posts:
Walnutwhipster · 15/01/2019 13:48

Why are you not going in the staffroom? I always did when I volunteered to bolster my PGCE application.

BringOnTheScience · 15/01/2019 13:49

Some schools don't permit visitors & volunteers in the staff room because of hearing or reading confidential information. I think they're wrong, but that's how some are.

Regarding the teacher - is she like that with other people? Some folks are just not sociable.

Or it could be that she didn't ask for a volunteer/student and doesn't want you there. It's not personal, but she might feel watched & judged. Having a trainee or student in with you is like one long observation.

Do talk to your college tutor about it. And is there any other member if staff who you feel comfortable with who you could chat to? Can you ask for time in another class, on the official pretext of broadening your experience?

Ellisandra · 15/01/2019 13:50

You need to compare like with like - you say other TAs, but it sounds more like you’re on work experience from a college course?

So if the TAs are getting breaks in the classroom, it may be because they’re doing longer hours than you? If not - take that up with your course tutor.

Does this teacher herself have covered drinks in the classroom? Or singling you out?

Bombardier25966 · 15/01/2019 13:52

Do you do the six hours in one go?

Who has said you must wait in the classroom?

Ellisandra · 15/01/2019 13:52

Have you asked her why you can’t go to the staffroom?

Original poster
Stepawayfromthecakes · 15/01/2019 13:54

I’m not allowed in the staff room due to confidentiality. I completely understand. But I often do four hour without a drink, while everyone else has one. AIBU about that? I understand she’s busy, don’t particularly want to pass the time of day with her, just ‘hello’ ‘bye’,

OP posts:
icelolly99 · 15/01/2019 13:54

Can't help with the rudeness of the teacher but I'm a parent volunteer in school; i can use the kitchen but not allowed in the staff room (I used to but then i was told not to so don't know if it's a new policy or I just hadn't been told not to before)

Bombardier25966 · 15/01/2019 13:57

The staffroom issue is not specific to you then, that makes sense.

Take a bottle of water with you if you need a drink more frequently.

SavageBeauty73 · 15/01/2019 13:59

Take water and a packed lunch with you.

LittleLongDog · 15/01/2019 14:00

Four hours is perfectly fine to go without a hot drink. You can bring a bottle of water/snack in and have it in the classroom during break.

Being an employed TA in the school is different from doing 6 and a half hours as a volunteer. It’s a shame you’re not feeling more welcome but with the greatest respect: you’re not staff so you’ll have a different experience than a teacher or TA.

converseandjeans · 15/01/2019 14:00

My school doesn't allow volunteers, visitors or work experience people in the staff room. They are not allowed around school in general until they have had a DBS clearance check.

I have had people working with me on a volunteer basis. Sometimes there is literally no time to chat once you have set out what you want them to do for the day.

It is not that common to have chit chat with others during the working day when you're a teacher. Most of what we chat about is work related.

I really wouldn't take it personally. She is no doubt focused on getting her job done & making sure the students are OK.

She should have said thanks for the gift - but may have got lots from the pupils and so it got caught up with all those.

Once you are qualified you will probably understand - it's fairly all consuming & until you have done a full week teaching you won't get it. I don't mean that rudely btw. Try not to dwell on it.