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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Teacher in school

86 replies

Stepawayfromthecakes · 15/01/2019 13:36

I’m currently volunteering at a local school as part of a college course - Supporting Learning and Teaching in School. I’m enjoying the college course and working with the children.

The teacher whom I’m working with doesn’t seem to like me at all. I do six and half hours in school each week. I’ll do any task she gives me and I also act as a 1:1 for a child in the class. Mostly she doesn’t speak to me, only speaking to me about school matters, I often don’t get a break or a drink. I’m not to go into the staff room. I sent her a Christmas card and small gift. She didn’t acknowledge it.

I’m not a confident person, full of self doubt. I feel intimidated and I

OP posts:

Original poster

Stepawayfromthecakes · 15/01/2019 14:00

Just to clarify, I’m doing a work placement. I do the same work as a TA on a volunteer basis as part of a college course. Staff have regulars breaks, drinks etc During break time I have to wait in the classroom. I feel intimidated by the teacher.

I was just looking for advice as I’m not sure if this is typical practice. I feel like giving it up tbh.

OP posts:

Ellisandra · 15/01/2019 14:00

Right, so you’re being a bit selective.
You did make it sound as Bitch Teacher had forbidden you from going to the staffroom.
She hasn’t - it’s school policy. Reasonable possibly - but even if not, it’s not this teacher’s fault.

Can you really not have a drink in 4 hours? I’m not aware of any primaries (mine and friends’) that don’t go mad for the ‘learning brain and keeping hydrated’, with everyone having water bottles. Are you not allowed a water bottle, or are we just talking covered cups of tea here?

I’m sorry if I sound nit picky but based on the staffroom ban I expect you’re allowed water, just not the hot drink you want - and if so, it may be school policy not this teacher’s. So it’s inportant to address you feeling got at personally by this person.

wildbhoysmama · 15/01/2019 14:01

This is ridiculous! I've been teaching 24 years and have never come across anything like this before. Anyone, from an inspector to cleaning staff are welcomed into the staffroom and offered drinks/ snacks, particularly volunteers who are giving up their time.

Who said you were not to go into the staff room? What a bitch.

converseandjeans · 15/01/2019 14:02

I don't understand why you can't have a drink? It's not the class teacher's job to make you a hot drink.

Bombardier25966 · 15/01/2019 14:03

It's natural to be anxious in such an unfamiliar situation. Do you think you might be subconsciously looking for reasons to go back to your comfort zone?

converseandjeans · 15/01/2019 14:04

wild lots of schools are not allowing people into the staff rooms. I initially thought it was a bit off but then when you think of all the information that could be read/overheard in there it makes sense.

user1486250399 · 15/01/2019 14:06

You can have a drink, just take water bottle/flask with you. And a snack for when you are in the classroom at play time.

Tbh I don't think there really is an issue here, just one unfriendly colleague. Honestly every work place has one at least. It's not a big deal, just don't talk to her.

I think you're looking for an excuse to quit.

Original poster

Stepawayfromthecakes · 15/01/2019 14:06

Ok, thank you for your opinions.

OP posts:

wildbhoysmama · 15/01/2019 14:07

I'm not buying that this teacher is too busy too be civil. It takes no time to be friendly- say hello, how are you, update you on pupils, ask how your course is- it's polite and professional. No matter how tough my week is - as HOD in a secondary school- I would always have time to pass the time of day with someone who is in my classroom. If anything she should have been thanking you for your time with a card or verbally at Xmas. Not professional, not good. Don't give up, as you say the rest of the staff are pleasant and you'll, perhaps be moved into different classes over the course of the year?

lmusic87 · 15/01/2019 14:08

I worked as a TA for years and I agree with LittleLongDog, as a volunteer it's a different relationship. I wouldn't have talked to the volunteers like I would my colleagues or teachers.

You would be expected to bring a drink too.

wildbhoysmama · 15/01/2019 14:10

To not too- stupid phone.

converse I've never heard of this staff room rule at all. I'm in Scotland, perhaps that's why? The world is going mad. When you look at this, here is someone trying to extend their skills and should be being encouraged.

Witchend · 15/01/2019 14:12

I'm not sure what you've written is a problem.

I used to help at school as a volunteer. Volunteers didn't go into the staff room. Partially that confidentiality, partially that a lot of the volunteers were parents so the staff needed a break from being "on show" but probably mostly in that at any one break there were probably around 6 volunteers around, and the staffroom was squashed just with the normal staff in.

I wouldn't expect most talking about anything other than school matters. When I helped, and I helped for several years over 3 dc, I could count on the fingers on one hand any conversations I had that weren't either them asking about my older dc or about school. They don't have time for chit chat.

She should have acknowledged the gift, but with the amount they receive of "best teacher" ornaments etc it's more than possible she simply forgot you'd given one.

There might be an attitude issue. I always knew that I was welcomed in school by the way they greeted me. Also that they gave me relatively complicated things to do with the children. But if you're approaching it with "I expect her to be friendly and chatty etc." you may be finding your perceptions are colouring how you feel the attitude is.

cjt110 · 15/01/2019 14:14

I attended a parents stay and play at my child's school last term... even I was told to go in the staff room and grab myself a drink and a biscuit.

RageAgainstTheVendingMachine · 15/01/2019 14:15

I did community service volunteering back in the day - two placements, one made me a drink, one didn't. Staff room policy re confidentiality would be the norm across many schools now.
I wouldn't give up OP, I just would conserve my energy for the kids and be civil but distant with the teacher - it could be that they are finding it a pain to find things for you to do/don't actually want a volunteer in the classroom (I'd be surprised in today's climate but you never know).
As for not acknowleding your gift, that's just rude.

Ellisandra · 15/01/2019 14:15

You’ve chosen not to answer questions about the water, so it does sound like it’s just not hot drinks, and a school rule, nothing personal.

I think a PP is spot on with suggesting that your lack of confidence is behind this, and you’re looking for a reason to quit.

Please, talk to your course lead.

You get on fine with the other staff.
You sound like you’re doing well in the placement with the work.
This teacher is not singling you out.

Have a chat with your course lead - it would be such a shame to give up. The hardest part was starting! I’m sure you’re doing a good job.

RageAgainstTheVendingMachine · 15/01/2019 14:15

acknowledging, even

LittleLongDog · 15/01/2019 14:16

When you’re qualified: remember how you’re feeling right now.

Hopefully it will help you to always take the time to be friendly and courteous to volunteers when you have them yourself.

But right now: put your thick skin on and shake it off. If you want to quit for other reasons then think them through properly but this is definitely not the reason to quit.

Perfectly1mperfect · 15/01/2019 14:17

I think this teacher doesn't sound great. She's not very welcoming and she may or may not be being off with you on purpose. If she's being civil and talking where necessary, unfortunately, I don't think there's much you can do. Just know she has the problem, not you, and get on with your job. Some people do enjoy doing this to other people. I remember doing work experience many years ago and one woman was just awful, ignored me etc. At the time I thought I must be doing something wrong as to why she didn't like me, now I have more confidence, if it happened now I'd just think 'ignorant cow'. It's not normal behaviour, remember that.

It's a bit off that, if you can't go in the staff room, there's no way of you having a hot drink or that no one would think to bring you one. I'd just take a drink in with you.

Try to be more confident and not care what people think so much. You have a right to be there, keep doing a good job and know the school are lucky to have your help.

Bobaboutwhat · 15/01/2019 14:19

You may be a volunteer so confidentiality rules apply - that’s fair enough. But, you’re still a human being who should be entitled to as many official breaks as the rest of the staff - you’re not allowed in the staff room so there should be somewhere else you can go - I would ask about this.

AllMYSmellySocks · 15/01/2019 14:19

I volunteered in a school and was treated as a valuable member of staff. Obviously I wasn't a qualified teacher so wouldn't have been given certain responsibilities but the school seemed very grateful to be getting my time for free. I was allowed in the staff room although wasn't allowed on my own around any children (even in the corridors) until my DBS had cleared.

Original poster

Stepawayfromthecakes · 15/01/2019 14:22

Just to clarify - I’m not expecting anyone to engage with me on personal basis. Just ‘hello’ etc. I don’t mind about the staff room issue. I completely understand, I don’t want to hear anything confidential. I simply wondered if this was normal practice as I’m learning.

That said, I feel unwelcome and a bit intimidated.

I’m just trying to qualify as I want to work with children with additional needs. That’s all.

OP posts:

glamorousgrandmother · 15/01/2019 14:23

At my school no students or parent helpers were allowed in the staffroom at break partly due to space issues and partly because of confidentiality - some of them were local and knew children teachers might be talking about.

Fairenuff · 15/01/2019 14:25

Take a bottle of water into the classroom with you. Top it up at break time and also use the time to go to the loo. If you want a hot drink take a flask and have it in the classroom at break when no-one else is in there.

AnotherNewName1 · 15/01/2019 14:25

Why can't you have a bottle of water with you?

Acopyofacopy · 15/01/2019 14:28

It’s a bit crap that you are not allowed in the staff room and must feel like you are being excluded when you aspire to belong.
As PP said, it’s not an uncommon rule.

This placement also demonstrates vividly just how much time teachers have for socialising during the day - no time at all. School life is pressurised and fast paced, if you want to have a chat by the coffee machine it’s not the right job for you.

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