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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be furious over what has just happened?

652 replies

DippyDiplodocus · 15/01/2019 09:46

Out Walking our dogs and my 6 month old baby in carrier. I have four dogs and look after one of my friend's dogs while she's at work occasionally. My four are quite large, the biggest being big German shepherd size and the smallest is a pug (friend's dog).

Before I get flamed for having too many dogs, two were mine, two my DH's before we met, so obviously we now have four. We aren't the kind of people to get rid of dogs just because we had a child - dogs are family too and we treat them as such.

We live in the countryside, very quiet rural area.
Coming to the end of our walk over the fields (where I never usually see any other walkers) I see another dog approaching - muzzled Siberian husky with a bloke.
At this point I already have four on leads ready for the road back to our house and bent down squat position to put pug on a lead.

I thought man would stop when he saw me bent down but he carried on approaching. I was struggling to get wriggly pug back on lead so I called out to him "can you just wait there a sec so I can get this one on the lead?" - No response and continues towards us.

Still trying to get dog on lead and my dogs are now getting a bit twitchy and unsettled that this bloke is approaching them, so one of mine barks.
Just to add here, our dogs are all very well behaved but they are protective over me and DD and will act accordingly if they feel threatened.

Man takes no notice, I call out again and say "can you just give me a second?" Ignores me completely.

He decides to squeeze by my dogs and I with a stupid smirk on his face. He can clearly see I'm struggling and baby is now crying and the others are pissed off. One of mine pulled forward and I dug my heels in and sat back so as not to land on my daughter.

I shouted at him and called him a fucking arsehole.

If he could have waited one second, I'd have been out the way and that wouldn't have had to have happened.

FFS Angry I just despise people at times.

OP posts:
DippyDiplodocus · 15/01/2019 11:17

Headsdown, I would had thought the person was inconsiderate regardless of their sex.

I didn't feel intimidated by him and that's not what I'm saying.

OP posts:
Weetabixandshreddies · 15/01/2019 11:17

How on earth do you control 5 dogs, on or off the lead, plus a baby in a sling?

What if you had encountered this man and his leashed, muzzled dog earlier when all your dogs had been off lead? How quickly would you have had them back by your side and under control?

SamBaileys · 15/01/2019 11:18

Wow 5 dogs, I missed one! I would really worry that if something happened involving any one of them then you're going to struggle to manage the situation with them and of course the baby.

dustarr73 · 15/01/2019 11:18

Lweji
I am one of the ones who think the op was unreasonable.And that was answer to somebody else.

And its not MN bashing,its the truth.

Lweji · 15/01/2019 11:19

In all fairness they were reply to my comment about what possible reason could there be for him being a wanker and in the wrong.

Yes, I got that, except you actually wrote "so this is MN of course hes the Devil" as if the few pps who thought the was the devil represented MN or were in the majority.

MarshaBradyo · 15/01/2019 11:19

I don’t see how people can expect everyone to divert what they’re doing because you have an unruly dog

Most people are quite rightly in their own worlds and don’t want to have to react to your situation

MargoLovebutter · 15/01/2019 11:19

It's always easier to be furious with other people than ourselves.

He didn't really do anything wrong, although he probably could have been more helpful if he heard / understood etc.

As the adult in charge of the baby and 5 dogs, it was your responsibility to be in control and that wasn't the case. In your shoes, I would be asking on here for advice for better ways of handling so many dogs and a baby at once.

Also, no matter how unhelpful the man was, it is never going to be ok to shout abuse at someone that way.

Lweji · 15/01/2019 11:20

And its not MN bashing,its the truth.

It's bashing and a largely a myth. Even if true for some threads, it clearly doesn't apply here.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 15/01/2019 11:20

I would had thought the person was inconsiderate regardless of their sex.

So if it had been a women you would have said she smirked at you and called her a fucking arsehole?

I find that hard to believe. I also struggle to believe if it had been another women you encountered any of the posters who agreed with you would have still thought you to be reasonable. They mostly agreed because they perceived him to be intimidating you or it making him feel like a big man.

limpbizkit · 15/01/2019 11:20

'fucking twat' isn't nice language regardless. Bit extreme

DippyDiplodocus · 15/01/2019 11:21

Well, that's a difficult question to answer. It would depend how far away they were from me as to how long it would take them to return to me.
If they are close, it would be within 10 seconds that they would all be sat by my side waiting for leads (exception of pug as not trained by me but is learning). He doesn't wander that far though.

Further away, as long as it takes for them to turn and run back to me. Hard to answer, really.

OP posts:
Fatasfook · 15/01/2019 11:21

Wow, the comments on here defending this man are astounding. He was clearly enjoying watching you struggle, he’s a dick and so are all these people defending him. Hope you never encounter that sort of behaviour again. Flowers

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 15/01/2019 11:23

he’s a dick and so are all these people defending him.

I have literally no words to explain how stupid this comment is Hmm.

Weetabixandshreddies · 15/01/2019 11:23

Well, that's a difficult question to answer. It would depend how far away they were from me as to how long it would take them to return to me.

Then you are not in control of your dogs.

dustarr73 · 15/01/2019 11:23

It's bashing and a largely a myth. Even if true for some threads, it clearly doesn't apply here.

It especially applies here.The man in this case didnt do anything wrong.All the posters agreeing with her are calling him names.And i bet its because hes a man.

DippyDiplodocus · 15/01/2019 11:23

Yes, I would @HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone
If that's what happened then obviously.

Women and men can be just as horrible as each other when it suits, wouldn't you agree?

OP posts:
DippyDiplodocus · 15/01/2019 11:25

@Weetabixandshreddies but you asked me a question and I gave you a relevant answer - that's not actually what happened.

If they are off lead, how could I be more "in control" than them having a good recall and coming straight to me? Other than them not being on the lead. Please explain.

OP posts:
HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 15/01/2019 11:25

Women and men can be just as horrible as each other when it suits, wouldn't you agree?

Yes I would agree, you demonstrated that beautifully when you called him names and he had done nothing wrong. Would you now concede that he was in fact not being a fucking arsehole or do you still firmly believe you were the reasonable one in this situation?

limpbizkit · 15/01/2019 11:26

Perhaps he felt intimidated by 5 dogs? I'm scared of dogs. I'd be getting past you as swiftly as possible!

dustarr73 · 15/01/2019 11:26

Wow, the comments on here defending this man are astounding. He was clearly enjoying watching you struggle, he’s a dick and so are all these people defending him. Hope you never encounter that sort of behaviour again. flowers

Yep thats exactly what her was doingHmm

Maybe if the op hadnt over stretched herself with walking 5 dogs.One of them not even hers and a baby .She wouldnt have found herself in that prediciment.

Lweji · 15/01/2019 11:27

All the posters agreeing with her are calling him names.And i bet its because hes a man.

I agree. I'm just pointing out that you shouldn't call it a MN thing. Because the vast majority of pps are saying the OP is unreasonable.
It's an issue with those pps, not MN.

PrimalLass · 15/01/2019 11:27

@whatsthepointthen Tue 15-Jan-19 09:53:37
I would have ignored you aswell tbh. You shouldnt be out with that mang dogs and a baby.

Why would you be that much of a twat to ignore someone asking you to wait a moment? To teach them a lesson?

LowbrowVictoriana · 15/01/2019 11:27

The man in this case didnt do anything wrong

He ignored someone's polite request to wait, and smirked at her struggling. He was rude and unpleasant.

Lweji · 15/01/2019 11:28

Nobody but him knows why he ignored (or missed) the OP.

What we do know is that the OP takes too many dogs out with a child to be able to be in full control.

Yulebealrite · 15/01/2019 11:28

See i don't see it as either/or. The man could be rude AND the op is putting her baby in a dangerous situation. Not for 99.5% of the time. She's probably absolutely in control most of the time. It's that tiny one off incident like today, that may not be in any way the ops fault - however if it occurs it could have disastrous repercussions.

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