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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be furious over what has just happened?

652 replies

DippyDiplodocus · 15/01/2019 09:46

Out Walking our dogs and my 6 month old baby in carrier. I have four dogs and look after one of my friend's dogs while she's at work occasionally. My four are quite large, the biggest being big German shepherd size and the smallest is a pug (friend's dog).

Before I get flamed for having too many dogs, two were mine, two my DH's before we met, so obviously we now have four. We aren't the kind of people to get rid of dogs just because we had a child - dogs are family too and we treat them as such.

We live in the countryside, very quiet rural area.
Coming to the end of our walk over the fields (where I never usually see any other walkers) I see another dog approaching - muzzled Siberian husky with a bloke.
At this point I already have four on leads ready for the road back to our house and bent down squat position to put pug on a lead.

I thought man would stop when he saw me bent down but he carried on approaching. I was struggling to get wriggly pug back on lead so I called out to him "can you just wait there a sec so I can get this one on the lead?" - No response and continues towards us.

Still trying to get dog on lead and my dogs are now getting a bit twitchy and unsettled that this bloke is approaching them, so one of mine barks.
Just to add here, our dogs are all very well behaved but they are protective over me and DD and will act accordingly if they feel threatened.

Man takes no notice, I call out again and say "can you just give me a second?" Ignores me completely.

He decides to squeeze by my dogs and I with a stupid smirk on his face. He can clearly see I'm struggling and baby is now crying and the others are pissed off. One of mine pulled forward and I dug my heels in and sat back so as not to land on my daughter.

I shouted at him and called him a fucking arsehole.

If he could have waited one second, I'd have been out the way and that wouldn't have had to have happened.

FFS Angry I just despise people at times.

OP posts:
AnotherPidgey · 15/01/2019 10:59

I encounter many dogs as a runner and despite listening to music, keep my eyes open and look out at what the dogs/ owners are doing. Generally I give them as much space as possible. Often, I'll slow down, possibly to a walk as too many dogs get excitable around runners. One random dog had an issue with me sitting on a bench last week and insistantly barked at me- I suspect it was the bright colours as I recognise it and it is usually calm when I walk in regular clothes. As a passer-by I need to pay attention to my surroundings and respond to them.
It's difficult to call whether he was unreasonable as we don't know if it was better to carry on with his dog than pause, or whether he did ignore you for whatever reason.

What you can control, is the dogs you are walking. 4-5 plus a baby affecting your balance and weight distribution is a lot to manage. If one of them is more sensitive, maybe it needs walking seperately or in smaller groups to be calmer. What happens if you cross a similar large party?
I often encounter clusters of dog walkers that either walk together or stop to chat and it quickly turns into a melée where control is fragile and difficult to pass.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 15/01/2019 11:00

Are you an octopus op? Just wondering how its possible for you to hold on to 4 dogs on leads whilst trying to get a wriggling pug on a lead and also managed to put up a hand to signal to the bloke? How many hands do you have?

MarshaBradyo · 15/01/2019 11:00

You have too much to handle, can’t your friend sort out her own dog

Agree it’s not a great idea to call a random a fucking arsehole, probably lucky he didn’t hear that and your original request

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 15/01/2019 11:01

Hes a man so this is MN of course hes the Devil.And wrong.

See I came to that assumption at the very start of the thread and I'm beginning to think it is literally the only reason why anyone with more than half a brain cell would consider that the OP to be the wronged party in this scenario.

NCToPostThis · 15/01/2019 11:02

I know it's extremely unlikely that he is deaf, but there is the possibility. My DD is deaf and someone shouted "stupid twat" Angry at her when she didn't step out of the way of a bike on the pavement behind her Hmm

People do have hearing difficulties and my DD may well just have interpreted the hand up as a wave, the BSL sign for stop is different and this would be her automatic "recognition".

So yes the possibility of deafness is small, but is it worth calling someone a fucking arsehole for it? (Especially when you are the one at fault). A lot of people have hearing difficulties without being profoundly deaf and it's worth bearing in mind so you don't act like an arsehole yourself.

PS My DD was also shouted at in the park, I knew who it was and reported them to the police and it was recorded as a hate crime...

Doobydoobeedoo · 15/01/2019 11:02

You had 4 big dogs who were getting "twitchy" and at least one who was barking before the man even tried to get past. You were in a position where you could (and very nearly did) get pulled over if one or more surged forwards.

I don't blame him for wanting to get by as quickly as possibly. One husky with a muzzle and on a lead would have had no chance against your dogs.

Nesssie · 15/01/2019 11:03

ZeroFuchsGiven - split leads, double leads, carabiners, waist belts. All designed to walk multiple dogs whilst letting you have your hands free.

MrsBandersnatch · 15/01/2019 11:03

Plus its not usually a good idea to call strangers names.You dont know how they would react

Who cares when you have 5 dogs to protect you?
I think walking 5 dogs at once is the height of irresponsibility.
Carrying a baby as well takes it up a notch.

PortiaCastis · 15/01/2019 11:05

Oh dear how did the man react when you verbally abused him

IceRebel · 15/01/2019 11:06

I don't blame him for wanting to get by as quickly as possibly. One husky with a muzzle and on a lead would have had no chance against your dogs.

Me either can you imagine the situation from his perspective. A woman with a small child, 4 large dogs, some of which are displaying quite threatening behaviour. One smaller dog off the lead, clearly not under control as the Op can not get a lead on it. It's not really a situation you'd want to be close to for any length of time.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 15/01/2019 11:06

“Dear diary, took lord fluffikins II on a walk through the fields today. Downloaded the eastenders podcast of when Mel and Ray Met. Was a lovely walk. Lord fluffikins started trying to eat fox poo so I put his muzzle on. Passed a woman who was waaay out of her depth with 5 agitated dogs and a baby in a front carrier. She couldn’t even get the fifth dog onto the lead to pass me. I nipped past as her dogs were barking and pulling and I could see it was going south fast and wanted to get LFII out of their way incase they went for him. I smiled at her though, she seemed to be struggling and I didn’t want her to think I was judging her. Other than that it was a great walk. Ray was quite rude to the waitress though.”

irunlikeahipoo · 15/01/2019 11:07

My DH would probably be just like this man
He sees it as his dogs are his responsibility and your dogs are yours and if you can’t control your dogs then you shouldn’t have a dog

Ours are always kept on lead because of other idiot dog walkers who either can’t or won’t control their dogs or panic because they see a big dog in on a lead and muzzled so pick up their handbag size dog who is now snapping and growling in fear because they don’t understand ehy they have been picked up
Whereas if they left the dog on the floor to walk past nothing would happen and any problems would be over in seconds

Lweji · 15/01/2019 11:07

Hes a man so this is MN of course hes the Devil.And wrong.

Except that most pps have said the OP is unreasonable. But don't let facts get in the way of your MN bashing. Wink

DippyDiplodocus · 15/01/2019 11:08

pick up their handbag size dog who is now snapping and growling in fear because they don’t understand ehy they have been picked up

Sorry, at which point did this happen?

OP posts:
regmover · 15/01/2019 11:09

Bottom line is that you need to be in control of all of the animals you are out with. We don't know why the man kept walking past, but we do know that when something required some urgency you weren't in a position to deal with it quickly and smoothly.

I say this as a horse rider, I need to be in control of my animal. I even need to do my best when people aren't in control of their dogs sadly.

IceRebel · 15/01/2019 11:10

Sorry, at which point did this happen?

The PP didn't say that happened in your situation, it's just what has happened when her husband has been out walking his dog.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 15/01/2019 11:10

Except that most pps have said the OP is unreasonable. But don't let facts get in the way of your MN bashing.

In all fairness they were reply to my comment about what possible reason could there be for him being a wanker and in the wrong.

I truly think the only reason anyone has agreed with the OP being right at all is that the other person in the story was a man.

It is nice to see most have agreed she is being unreasonable. However for those who still think he was in the wrong and a twat the fact he was a man is the only explanation I can see.

llangennith · 15/01/2019 11:11

He was rude, ignorant and idiotic not to wait a few moments as he could see you were struggling. Any sensible and courteous person would've waited.
That said, put your dogs on leads before you get to where the field narrows so you have plenty of space and won't feel flustered.

DarlingNikita · 15/01/2019 11:12

Sorry but if I'm out walking, I'm not wasting my time hanging back for someone to sort their dog out.

Yes, thirty precious seconds Grin

He could have waited, after you'd asked twice and held up a hand.

mydogisthebest · 15/01/2019 11:12

Well as a dog owner I would have stopped just seeing you trying to put the pug on a lead.

Sadly so many dog owners are complete arseholes.

The OP explained why she has 4 dogs. Her and her DP did the right thing and yet posters are having a go at her! Maybe she doesn't have time to walk them separately or 2 at a time especially with a young child?

I have 2 dogs who get an hour and a half walk in the morning and at least an hour in the evening. If I walked them separately that would be at least 5 hours dog walking! Plus drying them if it is raining, cleaning off their feet if they are muddy etc.

Some posters really do live in a strange world

Squickety · 15/01/2019 11:13

OP I have one reactive dog who is always on a lead when being walked and we take a wide berth / try to avoid other dogs. The amount of times I have shouted and gestured at people to please keep their dog away / give me a minute to walk the other way or duck up an alleyway / warned mine's not friendly / call their dog off if it's off lead etc etc and been totally ignored (Or even made a beeline for us 'to say hello') is ridiculous. I think people are quite often so wrapped up in their own little world they either don't think or don't care. Yes perhaps walking 5 dogs and a baby isn't the most practical idea but IMO the bloke was being a dick, you'd think he would at least be careful his own dog wasn't getting into a difficult situation, even if he couldn't care less about yours!

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 15/01/2019 11:14

Maybe she doesn't have time to walk them separately or 2 at a time especially with a young child?

Then she needs to employ a dogwalker. Saying she might not have time is not a good reason for putting herself into such a dangerous situation.

allthechipsticks · 15/01/2019 11:15

I do think he was being a bit mean not waiting. If I see someone trying to get their dog back on a lead then I'll stop purely because the closer you get the more interested the dog is going to get, it wouldn't have killed him to wait a few seconds. Having said that I think you're mad walking 5 dogs at once and a baby in a sling. I have 2 dogs and a baby they're both good off lead, recall and friendly and I find that a challenge. I'd say no to walking your friends dog. 5 would be difficult to manage without the baby.

SamBaileys · 15/01/2019 11:16

Personally I would have waited whether I had heard you or not, I don't know your dogs and theres four of them and one of mine so I would give a wide berth anyway.
You really have your hands full, I think I would stop looking after the pug for your friend- one less to worry about.

Lweji · 15/01/2019 11:16

Then she needs to employ a dogwalker.

Or husband wakes up earlier and walks some of the dogs.

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