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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be furious over what has just happened?

652 replies

DippyDiplodocus · 15/01/2019 09:46

Out Walking our dogs and my 6 month old baby in carrier. I have four dogs and look after one of my friend's dogs while she's at work occasionally. My four are quite large, the biggest being big German shepherd size and the smallest is a pug (friend's dog).

Before I get flamed for having too many dogs, two were mine, two my DH's before we met, so obviously we now have four. We aren't the kind of people to get rid of dogs just because we had a child - dogs are family too and we treat them as such.

We live in the countryside, very quiet rural area.
Coming to the end of our walk over the fields (where I never usually see any other walkers) I see another dog approaching - muzzled Siberian husky with a bloke.
At this point I already have four on leads ready for the road back to our house and bent down squat position to put pug on a lead.

I thought man would stop when he saw me bent down but he carried on approaching. I was struggling to get wriggly pug back on lead so I called out to him "can you just wait there a sec so I can get this one on the lead?" - No response and continues towards us.

Still trying to get dog on lead and my dogs are now getting a bit twitchy and unsettled that this bloke is approaching them, so one of mine barks.
Just to add here, our dogs are all very well behaved but they are protective over me and DD and will act accordingly if they feel threatened.

Man takes no notice, I call out again and say "can you just give me a second?" Ignores me completely.

He decides to squeeze by my dogs and I with a stupid smirk on his face. He can clearly see I'm struggling and baby is now crying and the others are pissed off. One of mine pulled forward and I dug my heels in and sat back so as not to land on my daughter.

I shouted at him and called him a fucking arsehole.

If he could have waited one second, I'd have been out the way and that wouldn't have had to have happened.

FFS Angry I just despise people at times.

OP posts:
LemonTT · 15/01/2019 12:03

OP people aren’t saying it was right for him to do this, they are saying you are wrong to take out 5 dogs never mind the baby. It is potentially risky and puts you and others in a precarious position. You rely on nobody else using a public path and for them to fit in around your circumstances.

As to needing to walk five dogs. You shouldn’t need to. Three adults got these dogs and in doing so assumed responsibility for taking care of them. That includes dog walking. So in addition to you, the inconsiderate man, there are two irresponsible dog owners who don’t walk their dogs. I dread to think of the scenarios when you were pregnant.

This was an entirely avoidable unpleasantness. But you are responsible for creating it just as much as the others. No excuses for him but none for you either.

DippyDiplodocus · 15/01/2019 12:04

The other two irresponsible owners are at work.

OP posts:
DippyDiplodocus · 15/01/2019 12:04

They can't walk dogs while they are at work.

OP posts:
Wordthe · 15/01/2019 12:05

5 dogs and a baby = disaster waiting to happen

DippyDiplodocus · 15/01/2019 12:05

What would have happened if all other factors remained the same but the dog wasn't muzzled and was loose?

How can I possibly answer that question without a crystal ball?

OP posts:
MarshaBradyo · 15/01/2019 12:06

On the same note you don’t have a free pass to shout abuse at someone because you have too many dogs and they didn’t comply

StrongTea · 15/01/2019 12:06

Just common courtesy to wait till you got your dog on a lead. You probably won’t see him again. Had same situation with a cyclist who almost cycled into me and my dogs, wouldn’t wait till I got out of the way.

Lweji · 15/01/2019 12:06

The other two irresponsible owners are at work.
The other two irresponsible owners can wake up earlier and walk the dogs later.
You could leave half the dogs at home, have a quick walk, then get back and walk the rest again.

I bet your friend doesn't offer to walk the five dogs when they get back from work.

Wordthe · 15/01/2019 12:07

If they can't walk their dogs they shouldn't have dogs

it's all very well saying use a dog walker but we all know that dog walkers go out with packs of unruly dogs
they are a public nuisance

Giraffesinscarves · 15/01/2019 12:07

I think your approach is unsustainable and tbh irresponsible. 5 dogs and a baby is completely inappropriate in my opinion. What if your baby had an emergency when you were out? Vomiting/choking for example, how are you going to reasonably deal with that whilst being responsible for 5 dogs? You can't.

Your op also said 'Im not one of those people who can rehome a dog when a child arrives'. Those people make a rational choice based on what is right for the child and the animal, they are not just thinking of themselves. I dont think you have any right to sneer at them.

Fwiw i speak as someone who has had dogs and babies.

The man in question is symptomatic of your chaotic setup and would probably have happened with any number of people.

Lweji · 15/01/2019 12:07

You can stop walking your friend's dog.

IknowTheBoswellJoke · 15/01/2019 12:07

Husky guy dodged a bullet by getting past you as fast as he could. No doubt you thought the cutesy country wife scene of baby and a pack of dogs you attempted, would earn you admiring looks?

Deadringer · 15/01/2019 12:07

Op whatever the rights or wrongs of your behaviour, he sounds like a right wanker.

Wordthe · 15/01/2019 12:08

People shouldn't have to wait for you to get your dog on a lead
your dog should already be on a lead and under control

ChrisjenAvasarala · 15/01/2019 12:08

Do you have permission from the farmer/land owner to let your dogs loose in his field?

If you're using a public footpath through a field then you're really meant to keep your dog on its lead.

Nothisispatrick · 15/01/2019 12:09

The other two irresponsible owners are at work

Well, friend with pug should’ve thought about that before they got a dog and wanted a friend with 4 other dogs to walk and a baby.

Can your partner not take them or at least half of them out before he goes to work or afterwards? Again, maybe not the best lifestyle to have 4 dogs.

I am not suggesting you give them up at all, I just wish people would think before they get pets, particularly dogs.

DippyDiplodocus · 15/01/2019 12:09

@Lweji

The other two irresponsible owners can wake up earlier and walk the dogs later.
You could leave half the dogs at home, have a quick walk, then get back and walk the rest again.

I bet your friend doesn't offer to walk the five dogs when they get back from work.

To answer this -

DH leaves for work at varying times, this morning 6:30am.
I don't believe it would be the best idea to be walking around farm land in the pitch black.
Just imagine the TRAIL OF SHIT then. Jeez.

Equally, he will be back home by the time it is dark - same scenario.

Why would I only give half of the dogs a quick walk and the rest a good one? It's not really very fair is it?

OP posts:
HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 15/01/2019 12:09

it's all very well saying use a dog walker but we all know that dog walkers go out with packs of unruly dogs

Actually in most areas dog walkers are not permitted to have more than 4 dogs at any one time, even less in other parts of the country. So in comparison the Op's dogs would be considered a pack.

I also don't know many dog walkers who accept unruly dogs, it wouldn't be good for their business and it seems unreasonable to suggest this is the case.

MarshaBradyo · 15/01/2019 12:10

Stop walking your friend’s dog

DarlingNikita · 15/01/2019 12:10

IknowTheBoswellJoke what a bitch you are.

In fact, why are the last few replies on here ALL so nasty and nit-picky?

'your chaotic setup'

'Do you have permission from the farmer/land owner to let your dogs loose in his field?'

Hmm

Lay off a bit, eh?

blackteasplease · 15/01/2019 12:11

Your friend can walk her own and so can your dh before or after work.

You can't possibly walk five dogs with a baby. That said, the man coming towards you was unreasonable as well as you.

DippyDiplodocus · 15/01/2019 12:11

No doubt you thought the cutesy country wife scene of baby and a pack of dogs you attempted, would earn you admiring looks?

I actually don't require admiring looks from anyone, thank you.

OP posts:
FuckBrussel · 15/01/2019 12:12

OP, for what it's worth, I'm with you. Kudos to you for not doing the "OMG, we're having a baby, we must get rid of the dogs" routine (I volunteer at a rescue, and we see it far too much), and for still getting out and exercising them with your little one, who will really be benefitting from the fresh air.

If I'm out with my dogs (I have two, and I walk them at the same time - how dare I!) and see somebody ahead of me putting their dog on a lead, or crouching down to do something with it, I stop until I know it's ok for me to pass them. It's just common courtesy - or it ought to be...

Lweji · 15/01/2019 12:12

Why would I only give half of the dogs a quick walk and the rest a good one?

It was both a quick walk. Or a long one. You decide. But separately. Certainly not with the 5th dog and child at the same time.

He could walk the dogs in the dark. Wouldn't be the first person to do it. Maybe stick to well lit areas or carry a torch. But he, and your friend, should also take responsibility for the dogs.
It's not fair that you're loaded with this much responsibility, along with a child, on your own for their pets.

RiverTam · 15/01/2019 12:12

In fact, why are the last few replies on here ALL so nasty and nit-picky?

because there are a lot of dicks on MN.

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