Why do families/partners of deadbeat dads (lets face it) do nothing?

[WobbleBottomBum]

Awful, abusive ex is getting married. He has done sod all for his child for 15 years. How can you marry someone with that knowledge? He even moved abroad partly to avoid paying child support. A couple of times he has (literally) played Disney dad but after that lost interest. His parents had DC over a few times (abroad) and send the occasional what's app.

I have never restricted access or said anything negative to DC about ex.

AIBU to fail to understand how you can hang out, barbecue, chill with your son, knowing full well that he has a child he does nothing for and never sees. He may say 'oh, I'm not allowed' but you have full knowledge that the mother has never restricted access.

How could you marry such a man with the knowledge that he pays nothing for his child. You know the household budget. He may bring out that old chestnut 'oh, my ex is crazy' but surely that even would make you want to provide some stability then for the child.

AIBU to completely fail to even begin to understand how the families of deadbeat parents turn a blind eye?

@Lillymumsnet

It wasn't a real phone number or names, it was just a made up 12345 number

[quote WobbleBottomBum]@Lillymumsnet

It wasn't a real phone number or names, it was just a made up 12345 number[/quote]

No worries, we do have to be extra safe when these things are flagged to us!

P.S - We've reinstated the post now!

Browse enough on Mumsnet and you learn how many women swallow hook, line, and sinker the old line about the ex being a greedy bitch who won't let him see the children but takes all his money and spends it on alcohol and getting her hair and nails done.

They will defend these deadbeats to the death. They deserve what's coming to them - the same treatment and the next woman being told the same about them - but the poor children don't.

DB last saw his children when the youngest was 6 months old. He is now 13. Because of his behaviour, I don't have a relationship with my niece and nephew. I tried, but it was too awkward.

XH was a shit father to his DS, but I was young and in love and he did at least pay for him. He was a shit father to DD2, and thought the sun shone out of DD1's arse. DD2 recently told XH to fuck off to the far side of fuck and then fuck off some more and blocked him from ever being able to contact her again. Her half-brother took her to task, then deleted her from social media. DD2 has been singularly unmoved by this - he hasn't been winning prizes for father of the year to his 3 DDs either.

DD1's partner is also a shit dad, but I could have told her he would be the day I met him. He was a walking piece of shit and a pothead to boot. She and DGD are so much better off without him in their lives. He does cough up money, reluctantly, usually late and sometimes his mummy pays for him to save him the bother.

My divorce left me very cynical and I wouldn't trust a man as far as I could throw him. That said, I don't dislike DD2's boyfriend, although I did to begin with.