Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To give up with the battle of screen time.

72 replies

whatsupapp · 13/01/2019 11:28

All I hear about is that you should get your kids off screens and doing other things like colouring or legos.
I think the skills of basic lego (Not Kits) and colouring have been mastered by age 5 and are no longer giving the child any benefit. Sure if they enjoy it, that's not the issue. It's trying to make my kids do other things than play games. They have no interest whatsoever, none!!
I am at my wits end, buying magazines, colouring books, legos and trying to get them to engage. Mostly my DD 6 will make me do the lego,colouring in, only to tell me she doesn't like it. I despair.
My DD has a dollshouse and dolls, which is left to gather dust.All sorts art materials and books. Will not look at books - says she hates reading. Tried a comic - the words are too small.
DD likes watching you tube, playing a few games on computer, but mostly just you tube.
DS watches Fortnite, plays Fornite, talks about Fortnite. (Awaiting ASD tests)
I bought a load of tasty snacks and tried to get them to sit and watch a movie altogether but it always ends up with them losing interest.
I must say that they do love activities,biking,skating,scootering,swimming etc. We spent 4 days at centre parcs with NO screentime. But they were on the go all the time.
MY AIBU is do I give up trying to get them interested in legos etc and just let them have games, you tube.(This is all off hour before bed) When then DS will read and DD wll colour. (But only then, they refuse point blank in day)

OP posts:

Original poster

whatsupapp · 13/01/2019 11:30

I must add I have tried board games but my DD is terrible and usually ends up trashing the game if she is losing .

OP posts:

JulietAconite · 13/01/2019 11:41

Yeah- I've more or less given up. So long as they work hard at school and do their homework properly, then their free time is their free time.
DS1 seems to have 'found his own level' eventually - he's 16 now but it has been years of non stop Xbox. Now he enjoys drawing and spends hours doing that and going out with friends/ girlfriend.
DS2(11) is Fortnite obsessed. Not interested in much else. Maybe the odd games of cards, a bit of table football or an occasional game of darts. But I absolutely insist on no screens at the table and that DS2 reads for half an hour before bed every night.

Flightywoman · 13/01/2019 11:48

Daughter is 11 and we have one no-device day a week - on a Saturday. So we try to get out and do things together, but sometimes there's a bit of tv and some games.

The no-devices extends to adults as well!

And then on a Sunday we try to do something as well to cut down her time.

She was FURIOUS when we suggested it but it's been a year and she's accepted it and there've been no further arguments - though she also knows I never back down so she doesn't nag!

AuroraFloyd · 13/01/2019 11:53

Let them be bored for a while. It builds imagination.

peachypetite · 13/01/2019 11:55

You sound passive. Of course they will pick screens if you let them. 6 is very young to not have any interest in play, from the title of your post I thought you were talking about teenagers.

Dontcarewhatimdoing · 13/01/2019 11:57

Why is it down to you to find things to entertain them. Have you tried just saying no screens and letting them use their imaginations to come up with something to do? I find offering jobs to do if they can't come up with anything usually stops complaints of being bored. I have nothing against screens, but I do think DC need to learn to entertain themselves to some extent.

Anonalongadingdong123 · 13/01/2019 12:01

I feel sad to read your DD6 just likes to watch YouTube. Get rid of the devices and in time she'll find other ways to play. Please try again to break the habit now while she's still young. It will be hard at first but imo worth the effort x

Charles11 · 13/01/2019 12:03

If they know screens are a choice then they will choose screens. Stop relying on them and let your dcs find other things that interest them.

MakeItRain · 13/01/2019 12:03

I don't have limits. Our house is very chilled. My daughter draws endlessly on her computer using art software.

My son uses the xbox but will frequently take himself off it and play with his science kits or draw/write sometimes too. On the xbox he's often creating worlds with his friends and learning to compromise and negotiate. We read books together for at least half an hour a day, usually longer.

Today I'm aiming to get out on our bikes at some point too so not all indoor stuff. Sometimes I feel guilty about it but mainly I like the peaceful atmosphere too much to make changes!

ForalltheSaints · 13/01/2019 12:07

Lock them away for one day a week.

arethereanyleftatall · 13/01/2019 12:08

Well, if they like activities just do that.

My dds do so many activities, that I dont need to monitor their screen time at all. There's no limits, no set hour for screen time etc We're not in enough for it to be a problem. Works really well.

Loraline · 13/01/2019 12:13

My 5, almost 6 year old can entertain himself for hours - although often asking us to play with him - because he's never had access to YouTube. I'm baffled by a 6 year old who is that familiar with it. He has set TV times each day and the rest of the time, his toys and dress up box. Just take it away and they'll learn to entertain themselves.

Loraline · 13/01/2019 12:15

Also, for the record, while all kids may not like Lego, mastering the basic skills is far from the point of it. I'm always amazed and the new creations DS comes up with and it constantly changes because what he's interested in changes.

Glitterinmykeyboard · 13/01/2019 12:20

We are console free as of two months ago.

Read and saw too much stuff about teenage boys becoming xbox zombies, neckbeards and losing all interest in life outside of their consoles. DS was becoming obsessed with fortnite. Luckily he threw his controller and smashed his tv.

I locked the xbox away and said it was never coming back in my house. Two weeks of sulking and tantrums. Now he is back to normal, goes out to play, never asks for it, doesn't even mention it. He asked me on Friday if he could sell it would he get the money, I said yes as it was his console, he's badgering me to put it on ebay so he can get some money towards a ramp he wants for the garden.

Phones all have blocks on them and turn into bricks when their time runs out.

Its a bloody plague on society. Toddlers passively staring at ipads for hours a day is awful. I've been there and done it so no judgement from me, but i'm glad I took the steps I have.

small2018 · 13/01/2019 12:23

@ForalltheSaints

Lock them away for one day a week

The screens or the children?!

Glitterinmykeyboard · 13/01/2019 12:25

I'm bored is answering with 'bored people are boring' in this house.

Go read a book
Bake something
Play with your toys
Do a chore or some homework
Go out
Play in the garden
Make up a game
Do some art
Play a board game

Pachyderm1 · 13/01/2019 12:37

Wasn’t there a study done recently that basically said all the worries about screen time is basically hysterical hand wringing? I think it’s been shown not to have a deleterious effect overall.

StealthPolarBear · 13/01/2019 12:41

There was no evidence it was harmful, rather than evidence it was not harmful. Review by RCPCH.
I also have this battle regularly :( they are so busy during the week with homework and after school clubs that I do let them have more screen time than ideal at weekends, particularly in winter

Twerking9to5 · 13/01/2019 12:53

It’s hard, I know. I’m more relaxed than my husband. They don’t have tablets but the TV does provide me some peace and quiet 😏. However, started saying no tv til 4.30 when I generally make their dinner, so they know they will get it. They then play/draw and sometimes even forget to ask for the tv. Cold turkey, whilst terrifying, is really effective. Then you can introduce it back if you want, just more regulated.

FuzzyShadowChatter · 13/01/2019 12:57

It reads to me that there is more of a battle to keep them entertained than over screens. I would certainly not be making lego buildings or colouring to amuse my kids or for them to judge!

I think having boundaries around screen time is so there is space for boredom, finding other things, and not just taking in others' input all the time. My kids are 7-14, and they do love their youtube and games, but they have their time and then they have to go do something else. I think there are benefits regardless of age.

PivotPivotPivottt · 13/01/2019 12:58

I have a 7 year and she has free access to her tablet (except after bedtime obviously). She spends most of her time just now reading books, drawing and colouring in, playing with her doll's house, building Lego, playing board games as well as playing on her tablet. Sometimes she will have YouTube playing while shes playing with her doll's house (watching those American channels copying what they do with their doll's houses ) or while shes drawing.

In the Summer she is outside playing with her friends on her bike and scooter morning until evening (would be the same in cold weather if I would allow it). She also goes to ballet and gymnastics and has just started taekwondo.

I have the broadband shield thing on, she only has kids YouTube and it's set so that I have to approve all apps before she can install them. It works for us and I have no concerns. If the tablet started to become and obsession I would just ban it altogether rather than have time limits.

Glitterinmykeyboard · 13/01/2019 13:01

Depends how you deem harmful..I worry about what they are missing out on when they are staring at a screen instead. What would they be doing if they weren't on a screen?

I have friends who are reception teachers. Both of them say the kids coming into their classes have the attention span of a gnat. Not all of them obviously. But a number of kids brought up on tablets as soon as they are bored. When given a choice of activities, the ipads are fought over. Would rather my lot decided to go out and play or do something else.

ladybee28 · 13/01/2019 13:03

It's trying to make my kids do other things than play games. They have no interest whatsoever, none!!

Don't try to 'make' them, just take the screens away.

They'll get bored and then they'll do something else. They won't immediately switch on keenly to a new hobby or activity – people don't operate that way – but they'll find things to do if you create the space and give them time to do so.

Kids have found ways to entertain themselves for thousands of years – yours will too.

Deadringer · 13/01/2019 13:04

I have never had screen limits, I let them play what they want when they want. As long as they have opportunities to do other activities regularly I don't see the big deal. What's the point of colouring in if you hate it? Down time should be time spent doing whatever you fancy. Perhaps I have been just lucky that none of mine have become obsessed with screens, if they did maybe I would think differently.

Deadringer · 13/01/2019 13:11

I forget to say mine didn't have access to tablets at all as toddlers, they didn't use them til about age 8/9, but they had games consoles, tv etc so maybe it's the tablets/iPads they get addicted to? Youngest daughter got a tablet at 8 (now 10) and recently got a switch, some days she is on them non stop, other days she doesn't even pick them up.

Flip

1 2 3