To give up with the battle of screen time.

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All I hear about is that you should get your kids off screens and doing other things like colouring or legos.
I think the skills of basic lego (Not Kits) and colouring have been mastered by age 5 and are no longer giving the child any benefit. Sure if they enjoy it, that's not the issue. It's trying to make my kids do other things than play games. They have no interest whatsoever, none!!
I am at my wits end, buying magazines, colouring books, legos and trying to get them to engage. Mostly my DD 6 will make me do the lego,colouring in, only to tell me she doesn't like it. I despair.
My DD has a dollshouse and dolls, which is left to gather dust.All sorts art materials and books. Will not look at books - says she hates reading. Tried a comic - the words are too small.
DD likes watching you tube, playing a few games on computer, but mostly just you tube.
DS watches Fortnite, plays Fornite, talks about Fortnite. (Awaiting ASD tests)
I bought a load of tasty snacks and tried to get them to sit and watch a movie altogether but it always ends up with them losing interest.
I must say that they do love activities,biking,skating,scootering,swimming etc. We spent 4 days at centre parcs with NO screentime. But they were on the go all the time.
MY AIBU is do I give up trying to get them interested in legos etc and just let them have games, you tube.(This is all off hour before bed) When then DS will read and DD wll colour. (But only then, they refuse point blank in day)

If you are doing something they may want to join in with you. Especially at 6, they're at the age where they want to help with cooking, household stuff. My dd went through a phase of making a menu every time we had a meal. She wanted to practice her writing and it was a bit like playing cafes. Maybe try something like that?

You need to persevere. We removed dd media and tv for a whole term as her attitude to us and school was appalling.

Sure she whined and moaned for a whole week after that not a peep, she got into other things I.e reading and her art.

I know it gets frustrating when they nag you I just told my daughter that if she continues would be another month and yes she pushed and got another month. Now she knows better and when we tell her no media she won't nag us.

I'm really shocked. From the title of the thread, OP, I was expecting your kids to be teenagers not 5 or 6 years old.

It's fine that they don't love colouring/reading/lego/whatever. Running and jumping and making dens are what is NORMAL for children their age. Instead of trying to make them sit down for quiet activities, I would give them as much outdoor play as possible. Take them to the park every day for an hour, whatever the weather. Sign them up to sports activities. Let them bring bikes or scooters when you go shopping. If you have a garden, put them outside to play. And so on.

And sure, after all that, let them have an hour on screens if you want.

I also agree with getting them to help with house chores and gardening while they are at an amenable age.

Then letting them have some screen time while you read a book. I'm doing a book challenge this year so they don't see ME on a tablet so much!

Scouts might suit them too.

Some screen time is fine, but a 6 year old who can't come up with other things to do is really worrying. Some children naturally can be left in charge of their own screen time and set limits, others need more help - just like with sweets!

Its only a battle because she knows there is the option. Kids 80 years ago were not staring at walls because there was no TV and they didn't like other games.
It seems like away from screens your dcs are into active pursuits, and that's great - can they do clubs? Brownies/scouts? Or just head to the park with a football (or look up active ideas for inside, especially for your DDs age there's loads you can do). Then set a clear limit on time (eg 30 mins in a school day and an hour at weekends), and if they whinge, they lose 5 mins a time.

I have never "allowed" screens during the week except for maths homework or homework research - the reason is that they would get too addicted and whine for more, I just know that. My kids are 10,7, 5 and 2. Occasionally they watch a film. Consequently, they read loads (a book a day, the 7 year old reads classics like Tom Sawyer, Watership Down etc), play board games, lego etc, imaginative games. They use the screens for games on planes/ travelling only. Occasionally they watch a film on the TV. The downside is they are a bit too sheltered, not as computer savvy as their friends. However, they are v musical and their vocab and imagination is amazing. They do loads of activities outside school too. I have thought about having screen and non screen days. A bit like limiting alcohol for myself really, that is what I plan on doing with my 10 year old when she goes to secondary school. I think I feel quite strongly about this as I watched my younger brothers becoming addicted to computer games- fine in the hols etc. but it shouldn't replace life. Teachers always comment on how much my kids read - I read the same amount at their age and so did a lot of my friends. But it is rarer these days. I love literature so it is important to me that they do too

Me and my husband are quiet introverts. Ours kids aren't.

Ah, there you go. It's tough when your kids are very different from you, but realising that is a really good starting point. Super-introvert friends of mine found The Enneagram of Parenting very helpful in knowing how to parent their bouncy, extrovert, throw-herself-down-the-slide-before-she-could-walk child. They didn't need it for their quiet, bookish child!

Take a hot drink and a book to the park for yourself while they burn off some energy.

I went through a stage where I felt like this. It seemed easier to let the kids watch the iPad or whatever. I get it.

However I noticed a massive change in my kids temperament when they had too much screen time, and now it's a firm 'no'. We went cold turkey, and they now play happily, inventing their own games or amusing themselves separately with books, puzzles etc.

They still ask for the tv or tablet sometimes but it doesn't rule their home life anymore.

Give it a try, I have found that it's worth it. They are better behaved and more fun to be around now they are not stuck to a screen.

I mean you don't have to be overly strict on it but probably best not to give up entirely...

Often my DD says she wants non stop screen time but honestly- if the TVs off and remotes hidden and the tablets put away (she doesn't use my phone or laptop anyway) then she will find something to occupy herself with. Kids don't just sit around bored- they find their own entertainment. I mean different matter with ASD I'm sure, I wouldn't want to comment if their are additional needs, but for most kids they need some time to play.

And that's not doing Lego or colouring, or playing on a scooter or bike, it's free play, free drawing, not reading one book but looking at them all if they want to- free reign.

Kids learn through play, so If neither child has the capacity to play at all I would be looking at the root cause. Are they allowed to make a mess? Can they mix playmobil and dolls house with Lego and crafts And make an alternate world to escape into?

I absolutely fell into this trap, but I totally regretted it. DS1 is 10 now and I think it's probably my biggest failing with him.

You have to go through the monkey phase (sorry) - it is really important for their development that their "default mode" doesn't end up set to screens. I see it in myself as well and it's really shocking - whenever I don't have anyhing pressing to do or I have a moment to myself to relax the first thing I do, I don't even think about it for a second, is pull out my phone or sit down at my computer. Then hours disappear.

You don't want that. You want them when they are bored or have a free moment to be able to take a second and engage their brains. Even to declare "I'm bored". Even just to do nothing. All of that is better than automatically getting through the door and zinging like a magnet to the console to play Fortnite or whatever - not because they were sat on the bus thinking "Hmm I can't wait to defeat the boss and I've got this new strategy" - that's OK and fairly healthy screen behaviour - but just zinging straight to it because it's what their brain automatically assigns as their "screensaver" if that makes sense.

Trying to combat it now with a combination of limits and then actually getting out of the house and occupying his time with other things, also insisting that he joins in to various activities and has other interests to develop. I do think ages 5 and 6 are tricky, because they are old enough not to be delighted any more by the simple toddler activities, but they are not yet quite old enough to take part properly in more grown up things which are actually fun for adults. I would suggest for at home, try reading some chapter books together - we started Harry Potter at this time or Lemony Snicket is good, the great thing about these is the long running mystery which makes you want to learn more. And see if you can channel any interests - whether it's sport, music, coding, drawing, etc. Clubs like Scouts are excellent as they tend to involve trips away which gives you a bit of a break - or things like PGL. But they might be a bit little to want to do those things yet.

The absolute key is that you don't get into a habit where you're occupying their time or the only way the occupy themselves is with screen based entertainment, your limits have got to take this into account. They need some "boring time" where they are occupying themselves sometimes.

It's also the age when having their friends over or meeting them at the park becomes very helpful.

Thanks bridgetreilly

When they leave home we will both be huddled on the sofa, me with my books, him with his computers. the kids will be moaning we never phone them!

BertieBotts

Yes so true, are we as adults also falling into this trap too??

I know I do - I'm not sure how to combat it as nothing I have tried so far has worked for me and honestly I'm too chicken to go cold turkey, which sounds awful (!) but I've built up so much of my life onto screen based stuff. I don't know how I'd cut it out. I've decided to start calling friends and arranging more social stuff and making RL connections and perhaps that will distance me from the online stuff I feel drawn to. But I don't know how to combat the automatic screensaver kind of thing.

I do have ADHD and I'm hoping to try medication for that next month so perhaps that will make a difference in helping me combat it. Like I said - I don't particularly think that it's a problem if I'm thinking "Ooh, I can't wait to watch that new Call the Midwife episode", or "I wonder what's going on on Facebook - let's have a look" - it's the way that I sit down and constantly scroll through pointlessly that I'd like to stop and replace with other things.

I am so glad my kids were young before screens took over the world. In fact, so are they. They're Uni-age now, and I heard them talking with some mates the other week saying how glad they all were they did other stuff when young.

BertieBotts

Is this a cop out, but i think not!
We have lost our connections to community etc, and as humans we are reaching out , to an online community! Our kids are only copying us.
And I'm not on facebook, didn't post on before here etc. And I am becoming more isolated. I need human interaction, even as an introvert.
We are on the cusp of great technological changes, and we can't keep up.
We are all struggling, and we don't know what to do!

What do we do about climate change, plastics, etc .
Fair enough , but what do we do about all our ingrained traditions of excess like xmas! Do we stop the gift giving, be scrouges....or save the planet and try to educate everyone about our planets' resources.
Do we give in to technology, will this be our children's future? Most jobs in the next 20 years have not been invented YET!
Or do we try to shield them from a world that's advancing faster then we can keep up with? Will those who spent hours in front of screen have the advantage in 10 years? Or will those who seeked out creative abstract thinking rein? Who knows
The only certainty in uncertainty, tis is this world now. How do we navigate it?

As human beings, we are constantly seeking information. We’re programmed to. It’s primal.
We need to seek information for survival. To find food, shelter, avoid predators and so on. It’s not surprising then that we rely on the gadget that can provide us with constant information and become hooked on it.

DS(11) Xbox, phone and iPad are all set to automatically kick him off at 8pm and none will work before 8am.

Outside those hours it's up to him to amuse himself, there are a gazillion toys/games/books in the house for him to choose from or he can sod off outside to play.

It's not up to me to "keep him entertained" but I'll happily join in games with him if he wants me to.

Your D.C. need to start thinking for themselves a bit more away from the screens and the only way you'll get them doing this is by enforcing screen time limits I'm afraid.

Op the massive hint you surely can't have missed is that the people who have brought us this tech don't let their young kids on it!

We are outdoors s lot. oldest is now discovering jigsaws and lego (he’s 6), but otherwise we are outside everyday, whatever the weather. 3-5 hours. bike, playground, scooter, walking, climbing. hobbies are parkrun, tennis, judo, swimming. if he’s physically tired enough he lives lego etc.