To want to retire sooner rather than later?

[Winterberriesonatree]

I fully expect to be torn to bits on this thread, so before anyone even starts, no offence taken.

I am nearly 60 and DH is 2 years younger, slightly relevant. We have a long marriage since early 20's and for much of that time I was the main breadwinner. We both always worked, started out as pretty much equals in our twenties. After well earned promotions at work, I earned quite a bit more than DH for very many years.

In spite of this, I did the bulk of the childcare and all the emotional work of bringing up our two children. DH had a hobby which took up a lot of his time, whilst mostly opting out of parental chores.

In the last couple of years I have arthritis, which has made it difficult to continue full-time work. Our children are now almost totally independent financially, for the first time ever. They have had loads of parental support over the years, both re-training for new careers in their twenties, which they could not have done without financial help.

In a nutshell, DH feels that I should continue working full-time, until I get my pension at aged 66. With arthritis, all I really want to do is slow down and work 2 to 3 days a week, until retirement. DCs are almost independent. He is earning a good wage now and I supported him through the years when he was earning much less than me.

Is this reasonable?

Retire now.
Arthritis is miserable and so unpredictable.
Both DH and I retired at 60ish, we both worked in lowishly paid jobs but with good 'baby boomer' pensions.(sorry snowflakes)
We also gave the kids help and support while they were sorting out their futures,so once they were ok, and we'd paid off the mortgage we retired and have never regretted it.
Now our state pensions have kicked in, we've never been so well off.financially and physically.
We've also been able to save the kids some money by doing a couple of days child care for DGC's as nursery fees are astronomical.
Just do it and look after yourself.Best wishes. Mx.

Retire!

Oh the joys of the 2 am feeds
(the reason why were up)
Wish we had Mumsnet 40 years ago.

Retire now while you still have fairly decent health left to enjoy.

Retire now. You have done your fair share and if you are happy to live on a reduced income, that is your call.

Of course it’s reasonable, you have health issues and sounds like you can afford it,

If you can cope financially I’d say retire,
I really want my DH to retire but he says “no,I don’t want to retire poor”
That will not happen,he’s a workaholic.
Have just lost 2 good friends and feeling that life really is too short
It’s really not worth it

Retire. It's your decision. You may be able to find a part time job in your retirement, some employers value experience and integrity over youth.
Also you may be able to get your pension early on health grounds.

Your health is the most important issue. Retirement could mean you feel a lot better too! Less stress.

I expect your husband is worried you will fade away if you retire, I felt a bit like that about my husband. Thought he wouldn't have the adrenaline to motivate himself but, at the end of the day, the decision was his. He has some interesting (to him), part time work.

Life goes on girl, make the most of it. I'm retired btw.

& not too much because it exacerbates arthritic pain. I'm a spoilsport aren't I :-) ?

(maras2, loved your post, very cheering.)

100% go down to 2-3 days a week and begin to enjoy your healthier years.

I retired early, as soon as my occupational pension kicked in.
I was lucky to do so but i’d paid maximum pension contributions to build it up with exactly that in mind.
It was obviously considerably less than my salary but I tended to spend a lot of money just being at work anyway ( lunches, coffees, magazines, travel - taxis were my extravagance) so I wasn!t that much worse off at all.
I haven’t regretted it for one second. Go for it. But I would just advise having definite plans for what you want to do with your time.

Retire. Not sure why he wouldn’t want that for you other than he likes the money.

Absolutely go part time. You have more than earned it. My gran who I loved dearly had your health condition, get as many good years as you can in. Don't hesitate OP.

I understand the desire to retire early I too have arthritis and after nearly 49 years of working (64 this year) I have been thinking about early retirement myself, however what ever your circumstances now you have to protect your financial future.

If you haven't worked enough years when you do retire you are not going to get the full state pension, its 35 years so if you have already paid in for 35 years it doesn't matter if you give up work now you will still get your pension, if not any extra years you can pay in until you are 66 or have paid in for 35 years (which ever is sooner) will mean your pension will increase so you will be better off. If you and your DH don't have savings or a private pension you could be looking at a bleak old age when you do retire. I am lucky I have a private pension which I can draw on now and have accrued enough NI to get the full state pension plus a bit extra as I had already paid in for 46 years when the new pension rules came into force so I could retire now if I want.

TBH although I do understand your situation I have always earned more than my DH, even now when he has his state pension, a private pension and still works so has a salary I still bring home more than him, but I don't see it as a competition between us, we both pay into the pot its our money I will not say that your and your DH are BU you for wanting to retire or him for wanting you to work but I find the idea that I have 'supported ' my DH in anyway because I bring home more then he does totally alien and its not something I really understand, even next year when he gives up work at the age of 70 and only has his pensions I wont be 'supporting' him in anyway we will just have a bit less between us and will adjust our life styles accordingly, that's what (IMO) couples do

If your arthritis is bad enough for you to give up work or go part time have you considered applying for PIP, that would bring in a bit extra if you do have to give up work or decrease your hours and if you apply for it when you are working age when you do get to pension age you will still get it (under current rules) its not means tested so your DH wages wont be a factor and you can still work and receive it, it may be worth considering

Retire now.
My wife and I are public servants and were able to retire at 55.
Best thing we ever did.
My advice to anyone is, if you can afford to get out, get out! You only have one life.

Thanks for the replies everyone, it is food for thought.

The real issue is that we do not agree on this, rather than the actual money. We will both have pensions from work, which could be taken at 60 and we will each have the maximum state pension at 66. Until this kicks in, he considers that I will depend on him to an extent by going part-time and this is of course partly correct.

We have always pitched in together financially and shared, so I do not have savings in my own name. Everything has gone on our home and giving the DCs a very good start in life, which neither of us regret.

DH was made redundant 3 years ago now and after a few months off, he was lucky enough to get another job. It pays better than the old one and he is enthusiastic about working for as long as he can now. He thinks that I should do the same thing, which until recently was always our long term plan. If he had not got another job, our situation would be very different and I would have had no influence on this.

Obviously we need to talk it through and negotiate. I just wish he could accept that I worked as hard as possible when the family needed me to do this. Now with a permanent limp, due to OA in my hips, it is time to step down and he cannot accept this.

Oldsu

Thanks for your comments. I would not get PIP, because at 60 in June this year, will be eligible for an occupational pension.

It really isn't a competition between us as we have always shared finances. I just think that having been the main breadwinner for many years until quite recently, DH is finding it hard to think that I might stop working full-time at 60.

Sorry to drip feed. It is possible that if I don't consider stepping down at 60, my employer may put pressure on to do so on health grounds. It is always better to go before you are pushed and 2 days a week is after all better than nothing. It has become obvious to everyone that my OA has got much worse in the last 6 months and many comments have been made. My job requires being on my feet a lot, DH cannot see this.

Have you checked that you cant claim PIP if you have an occupational health pension, I know you cant claim income based ESA as that's an income replacement benefit and an OH pension is classed as income, but PIP is not means tested, you can work and claim it you can have savings and claim it you can be a millionaire and claim it (David Cameron claimed it for his son) see this site www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/sick-or-disabled-people-and-carers/pip/before-claiming/check-you-are-eligible/ it may help

Of course YANBU, and I'm not sure why you think you would be ripped to shreds.
In your position, I would totally retire now. Although, if you feel work want you to go, might you be better to 'let' them push you, so you can retire on a better deal if you 'are retired' on medical grounds, rather than choosing to 'just leave' ?
I'd certainly have some conversations with Union, Pension Fund, and Occupational Health or HR before making any decisions.

BackforGood

DH wants me to continue working full-time for as long as possible. He doesn't like the idea that he will work full-time whilst I step down. He is 2 years younger and I feel from our discussions that he would resent me retiring earlier because of this. It never occurred to me when we were young that this would be an issue.

Definitely do it. Five years is a long time. You aren't even saying you'll be fully retiring, which many in your situation would consider. You are clearly very accomplished, he should consider that maybe you could have done even better and made enough for both of you to retire if he had contributed to the care of your children - he didn't, so here you are.

You could be me op. Osteo arthritis of right hip, turned 58 last year, occupational pension due to kick in at 60. I'm NHS.

Well, that's his issue really.

DH is younger than me, but I will almost certainly retire at a younger age than him, so therefore, some years before he does.
That's my plan even without the OA.
Because we are now in a position to not be reliant on having 2 salaries coming in, then it wouldn't be an issue, even if it bothered dh a bit.
The fact that you are actually struggling with the OA ought to mean that he should be stepping up to give you whatever support he can - in the same way you did when you were earning more and when he was out of work for a few months. It's what you do as equal partners in a marriage - support the other when they need it, without keeping score.

I don't think he can have a say really your health is more important than money x

Try to see if you can reduce from 5 to say 3 days per week.

I'm 20 years younger than you with OA of the hip. Currently my feet hurt and there is not a chance in hell I'd be on them all day.

I can understand someone not understanding the pain but I would take a very dim view of his attitude. You'll end up massively depressed with the chronic effects of the pain and inflammation.