To PLEASE ask for some help

[starkwinterfell]

I've got myself into a huge muddle and I feel so stuck and scared.

I'm 6 months pregnant, but the man I am expecting with, is a complete and utter disgrace. I've posted about him a lot on here under various usernames and all advice has been to leave but I've been too stupid and too scared. Tonight I finally spoke to a friend about it all and completely broke down.

She thinks he's coercively abusing me and says everyone has noticed and has quietly been worried about me.

I don't know what to do. We share our home currently but can just give one months notice. Ideally I'd love him to go and me stay but I won't be able to afford the house on maternity pay, am I entitled to any help? Or is he obliged to pay for his child in any way?

Plus he won't go without a fight, every time I tell him he unhappy I am or try to end it he completely overrides me and tells me I'm stupid and that there's no problem and neither of us are going anywhere.

I honestly have no clue about legalities and to be honest, I feel so totally hard done by because this is a planned pregnancy (he wasn't always so vile, it started when I got pregnant - but yeah I probably shoulda saw the red flags), and I had been saving for a while to ensure nothing like this could happen, but he has used all of my savings and not been paying his half to anything so I'm literally living pay check to pay check and it's just so unfair.... although it is kind of my fault - I shouldn't have let it get this far!

Please mumsnet, what are my rights if any? And does anyone have any advice?

Glad you got away.

Feeling really low at the minute. I just can't seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel at all.

Don't worry about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, it all starts with taking the first step and you have done that. Now with the support of your family, you can take it day by day, you don't need to do anymore than that.

OP, if you've got away from him, you're already out of the tunnel. Great news.

The tunnel is behind you.

It's just scary because this isn't what you had planned or wanted to happen.

Talk to your parents and your friend. Try and plan something nice to do this weekend. You don't need to think beyond that at the moment. Just take one day at a time.

Talk to people, you've got people around you who will support you.

This is all very new, it will take time but you aren't alone.

Just go. You can sort housing when you are safe & not so stressed. Leave when he's out so you can have help to make sure you take everything in one go. Don't go back to collect anything without a friend, it's common to find an excuse for you to go back so they can talk you round or assault you.

@CSIblonde she has gone. She is at her parents'.

Hang in there. You've done the right thing for yourself and your baby.
Talk to friends and let them know what's going on. If anyone is not supportive then steer clear. If you can, make a little bit of time for yourself to do something nice, where you don't think about what's going on so that you have a bit of a mental break from the situation. It'll help recharge your batteries.