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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be embarrassed to tell my parents I’m pregnant?

115 replies

Lolois · 12/01/2019 10:02

It’s so stupid and I know that- I’m 32, married and the baby is planned for and I’m over the moon about me being pregnant but I’m worried about telling my parents. I know they know I have sex, but telling them feels so uncomfortable because it’s like yep we’ve had sex and now there’s proof of that in my stomach. I know that that’s not what they’ll focus on but ah I feel so awkward about telling them. Did anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:

CardsforKittens · 12/01/2019 13:26

I felt awkward too. And now my first child is 19 I suppose she is probably having sex but I certainly don't think about the details! If she ever tells me she is pregnant I will be delighted about the coming baby and I definitely won't be thinking about how it got there.

FrowningFlamingo · 12/01/2019 13:26

I felt worried about telling my parents. Not for the same reasons; my mum and I are very open with each other about sex.
I think it was just because I'd spent so long trying very hard NOT to become pregnant that it just seemed a bit weird to be saying I was and that it was a good thing!

Aquamarine1029 · 12/01/2019 13:32

This is the weirdest thread I have ever seen. I'm honestly gobsmacked. Grown women scared that their parents will know they have sex? Really?! It's 2019, FGS. Unbelievable.

FaFoutis · 12/01/2019 13:36

My MIL's reaction was to dwell on the sex part so I don't think your worries are unfounded. My MIL is mad though.

puzzledlady · 12/01/2019 13:37

Yeah I was like this with my dad / I kept telling him I had a stomach ache. Until he said - maybe you’re pregnant?! Urghh I was so embarrassed. I sort of mumbled uhhhh yeah maybe knowing full well I was. I was 29 and married for a few years by then, I was still embarrassed when I told him about my second child!

pigsDOfly · 12/01/2019 13:39

Surely your parents would be more shocked or upset, or whatever you think they're going to feel about you having sex, if you told them that as a 32 year old married woman you had never had sex.

I think you're over thinking this. I didn't even think of the sex aspect when my DD told me she was pregnant, why would I?

tillytrotter1 · 12/01/2019 13:40

When we told MIL that No 2 was under construction when No 1 was almost two she said we were like rabbits!!

Bellasorellaa · 12/01/2019 13:40

I don’t have children but when I do I feel I would be embarrassed to lol

spaghettipeppers · 12/01/2019 13:40

Try teaching sex ed while visibly pregnant- all those gobby kids looking you up and down and DEFINITELY thinking 'EWWWW we know what you did'

Congratulations OP

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 12/01/2019 13:42

Well this thread has been a bit of an eye-opener, that's for sure! never realised so many people felt this way!

GladAllOver · 12/01/2019 13:49

"Hi mum. You know how you got pregnant with me? Well I've been doing that too. Great isn't it!"

Rudgie47 · 12/01/2019 13:49

I'm sure they would be more shocked if you were in a celibate marriage.
Most people assume married people shag.

SilverySurfer · 12/01/2019 14:06

Of course, your parents will throw up their hands in horror saying 'oh no!, that means you have had S E X!!'. You will vehemently deny this saying 'no! no! this is an immaculate conception.'

The dream will fade and you will hear your parents saying 'how wonderful, we are so happy and excited for you both.'

Many congratulations

xJessica · 12/01/2019 14:07

I felt exactly like this!! My parents, my mum especially, are very old school and very much no sex before marriage. I was 30, had been married for 5 years and was still embarrassed to say! They were delighted though. I felt the same the morning after our wedding. We had of course done it for years before we were married but my parents thought we hadn't. Mum still goes on about people being entitled to wear white for their wedding!

When I told my boss I was pregnant, she started singing "we all know what you've been doing"

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 12/01/2019 14:11

OP bless you! Just to put it into perspective...I presume you have a lovely relationship with your parents,,and you have seen them lots of times since you met and married your husband? Do they treat you as anything other than how they have ever treated you? NO? Then they already know what you and DH have been up to!!!! Just maybe write a card to grandparents and say nothing ,,,bet they will be over the moon,,no words needed until they ask excitedly when baby is likely to make an appearance,,,,lovely news though congratulations ...go share the happiest of news with them they will be so happy ..

Butchyrestingface · 12/01/2019 14:11

Tbf, I was fairly appalled when I learned the facts of life and realised that my parents must have done it (at least twice) to produce me and my brother. I let them know how disappointed I was in them. I was 10.

Chocolateheaven123 · 12/01/2019 14:15

I totally felt the same OP! More with my dad than my mum. It's weird coz I'm really close to my dad and talk to him about certain things more than anyone else but it was still odd to tell him I was pregnant. Even though he adores my DP, knew they'd be over the moon at becoming grandparents, in a long term relationship and own our own house, it still felt strange. Also felt odd when I told him I was expecting #2

InSightMars · 12/01/2019 14:20

Don’t tell them. Say you ate too many pies if they ask why you’re getting bigger and when the baby comes say you found him/her under a cabbage leaf or the stork left him/her. They’ll have to pretend to believe you because otherwise they’ll expose themselves as big fat dirty liars who had sex themselves to have you.

CaptainCabinets · 12/01/2019 14:30

This is weird and quite sad, really. Strange family dynamics some of you must have to be worried that your parents (who presumably had sex to make you) will know that you, a grown woman, has had sex.

Maybe I’m closer to my Mum than most people but I feel sorry for some of the people who have posted here. Very odd.

Hezz · 12/01/2019 14:33

I was married but still went bright red telling them. I was embarrassed too.

BunsOfAnarchy · 12/01/2019 14:34

You're so sweet OP.
My parents couldnt wait for me to be a mum. I couldnt wait to tell them.Then when it actually came to the day of telling them i realised i felt a bit telling my dad as its almost like saying 'we had sex!'
My DH did it for me .
It is really odd. Id never felt like that till that moment either!

BunsOfAnarchy · 12/01/2019 14:37

This is weird and quite sad, really. Strange family dynamics some of you must have to be worried that your parents (who presumably had sex to make you) will know that you, a grown woman, has had sex.

What an ill response! Its nothing to do with being worried that they think we had sex. Its patently obvious that we do. So please dont feel sorry for me, i have a wonderfully strong close relationship with both my parents thank you very much!

CaptainCabinets · 12/01/2019 14:40

@Buns that’s nice dear, but considering you posted after I did, I wasn’t talking to, or about, you.

Some of the responses literally say they don’t want to admit to their parents they’ve had sex.

evaperonspoodle · 12/01/2019 16:17

I was 31, married and already had one child. Throughout my entire pregnancy with DS2 my DF referred to it as “this situation you’ve got yourselves into”!!

Sorry but this really made me laugh.

I knew a woman who once referred to her pregnancy as her 'condition'. This was only about 15 years ago

HotSauceCommittee · 12/01/2019 16:38

“Mum, Dad! We’ve stopped all the anal, blow jobs and wanking and tried proper shagging and I’m pregnant!”
See, imagine saying that to them and telling them you’re knocked up will be a breeze.

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