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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be embarrassed to tell my parents I’m pregnant?

115 replies

Lolois · 12/01/2019 10:02

It’s so stupid and I know that- I’m 32, married and the baby is planned for and I’m over the moon about me being pregnant but I’m worried about telling my parents. I know they know I have sex, but telling them feels so uncomfortable because it’s like yep we’ve had sex and now there’s proof of that in my stomach. I know that that’s not what they’ll focus on but ah I feel so awkward about telling them. Did anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:

ChrisPrattsFace · 12/01/2019 10:30

MoaningSickness - I was the same, every moment that would have been good I chickened out! ended up not telling them! I have a second early scan next week so think I’ll finally spit it out then

AnneLovesGilbert · 12/01/2019 10:31

I didn’t have that with parents at all. But it’s exactly what happened when we stop my DSC. They’d been doing sex ed at school and the third question DSS asked was if we’d “done it”. DH was mortified but tried to stay matter of fact and the DC thought it was genuinely hilarious Hasn’t been mentioned since thankfully.

TokyoSushi · 12/01/2019 10:31

Yep, same! I was 30 and married!

Missingstreetlife · 12/01/2019 10:31

My mum asked how did that happen?!

ShortandSweet96 · 12/01/2019 10:31

I'm 22 and have always had a very open relationship with my mum.
The first time I had sex she was disappointed I didn't wait until I was 16 but then advised me on pills and contraception ect.

From that point I knew I could tell her anything, now TTC and she's the only person except DP obviously that knows because I know she can give me great support!

Nothing embrassing about sex, it a natural thing to do, having a baby is joyful and you're giving them a grandchild. It's wonderful

Good luck trying your parents OP, and congratulations!

diddl · 12/01/2019 10:33

"My mum asked how did that happen?!"

Did you tell her??

I think that the only answer to that is "the ususl way!"

Veganforlife · 12/01/2019 10:33

I understand,when I went In to Labour I refused to come out of the house to get to hospital till all the neighbors had gone to work.i didn't want them knowing I was in labour.then after I was very upset that people knew ,because I had given birth I would be bleeding...I felt. Humiliated ..we are all different and different things effect us .good luck op x

Serialweightwatcher · 12/01/2019 10:35

I felt the same too and I was 34 the first time - they probably won't consider it though and will be delighted to be grandparents - good luck

thegreylady · 12/01/2019 10:36

My second dh went alone to tell my very blunt working class dad that I was pregnant while I told mum.
After several blundering attempts my dad lost patience with him and said:” You’ve got her up the stick lad! Fetch the sherry,,,”
It took my rather prim, posh dh a few seconds to realise this was approval! Mum was delighted. That was 49 years ago now.

ShaggyRug · 12/01/2019 10:36

I felt the same about telling my Dad when I was pregnant. I knew it was bonkers but still felt like now he’d really know i’d ‘done it’. I was 30 and married

WonderfullySunny · 12/01/2019 10:36

Felt exactly the same OP. I chickened out somewhat and sent a group family message with the first scan picture My Dad always used to walk out half way through films though as soon as there was a kiss he would say 'that's ruined that film then'. Think that's why I've never been able to talk openly about that kind of stuff!!

luckylavender · 12/01/2019 10:39

I felt like that too, I was 33. Congratulations.

Oopsy41 · 12/01/2019 10:40

I wasn't bothered about telling my parents but I always felt embarrassed at the ante natal clinics, sitting in a room with loads of people who were also pregnant and us all knowing what the other had been doing. I know it's stupid and ridiculous but that's how I felt

evaperonspoodle · 12/01/2019 10:43

I felt like this every time I was pregnant, I dreaded telling my parents. I told my DM over the phone, she was happy but very embarrassed that I said the 'p' word. DM told my DF and he didn't acknowledge it at all, until we saw him and he shook DH's hand at the front door then pretended to strangle him . This was circa 2000 so not exactly in the 1950's and we were married.

PixieMiss · 12/01/2019 10:43

My baby was unplanned, I was early 20s, in a steady relationship, good job, nice house (rented) and I was terrified of telling my mum. I took her out for a curry to tell her. The thought process was that she wouldnt be able to make a scene if we were in public

Of course she was overjoyed and made a whole different kind of scene with many tears and kisses

MissClareRemembers · 12/01/2019 10:44

I felt a bit like that too. My parents live far away and we were due to visit shortly after the 12 week scan. To take the edge off my awkwardness we just said we’ve got something to show you...and handed over the scan. They were thrilled.

Expatworkingmum · 12/01/2019 10:45

I completely felt like this! Totally understand.

CatkinToadflax · 12/01/2019 10:49

I was 31, married and already had one child. Throughout my entire pregnancy with DS2 my DF referred to it as “this situation you’ve got yourselves into”!!

GrumpySausage · 12/01/2019 10:50

I was the same. I was married, financially stable but I was still worried about telling them. Luckily they were both very happy. (Don't know why I thought they wouldn't be). I was the same with my second pregnancy too.

TorchesTorches · 12/01/2019 10:52

I felt like this. I was 38 and married! I have had an emotionally repressed childhood and zero discussion about sex. It wasn't just the embarrassment, it was also breaking the habit of not telling them things. I wouldn't tell them anything important about my life that had an emotional angle as they would always have the 'wrong' reaction which would upset me. I hated that I had to tell them i was pregnant. But I did and my mum was delighted, so the 'right' reaction. Good luck! Am sure you will get the right reaction!

Anyat212 · 12/01/2019 10:56

I was the same OP but my issue was telling my broader work colleagues! (Who I still worked with fairly closely) I just suddenly developed this awkwardness to tell people I was pregnant at work as I thought the same as you. It’s funny what you think, but of course they were happy for me. It’s lovely news. This was only a few weeks ago as I’m currently 27 weeks pregnant too!

Congrats OP and don’t worry your parents will be over the moon

Birdie6 · 12/01/2019 10:59

They'll be thrilled that they are going to be grandparents. The sex aspect won't enter their heads - they'll be too busy looking at pram catalogues.

Skittlesandbeer · 12/01/2019 11:00

Trust me. They’ll immediately and forever think only about the impact of this child on themselves. Positive or negative.

You’ve been on Mumsnet before right? Hasn’t it taught you anything?

Nobody will ever have a thought or impulse based on you again. Your baby will suck up all the attention (yours too). It’s ‘not about you’ will be your new reality. You’ll have to fight for a moment’s recognition from now on. Be grateful if anyone spends even a split second considering you as a sexual being ever again. Congrats!

SheAlreadyDoneHadHerses · 12/01/2019 11:03

This is so weird!!!

Bedheadretention · 12/01/2019 11:05

OP, my MIL has literally just now told me and DH that his younger sister (35) is expecting dc2........I've known DSil since she was 10, and my first reaction was 'Wooooo, a new baby!', not OMG she's had sex with her DH again! And FWIW, my in-laws are very old school and sensible, and they are over the moon at another Dgc

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