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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be embarrassed to tell my parents I’m pregnant?

115 replies

Lolois · 12/01/2019 10:02

It’s so stupid and I know that- I’m 32, married and the baby is planned for and I’m over the moon about me being pregnant but I’m worried about telling my parents. I know they know I have sex, but telling them feels so uncomfortable because it’s like yep we’ve had sex and now there’s proof of that in my stomach. I know that that’s not what they’ll focus on but ah I feel so awkward about telling them. Did anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:

Stephisaur · 12/01/2019 11:07

We felt the same.

Of course everyone knows you have sex, but it’s a bit weird to admit that you had sex with the intention of creating life.

It was one of the worst bits of pregnancy for me.

MissingGeorgeMichael · 12/01/2019 11:08

A woman at work was taking about this very subject. She said it was so incredibly hard for her to tell her Mum that she was pregnant as it would mean admitting she had had sex and wasn't a virgin.

Didn't matter that she was married and it was obvious she and her husband were having sex, saying 'I'm pregnant' out loud to her Mum's face would mean her Mum knew she had had sex and she was mortified.

bubblegumunicorn · 12/01/2019 11:13

Omg I just went through this I told my mum last week I had been trying to tell her for a week but didnt know how then I just jumped in with I need to tell you something and she figured it out! Shes been amazing but it was so hard to pull up the courage to do it! You will be fine and I bet she will be over the moon for you it is weirdly embarassing though I totally get that!

ChikiTIKI · 12/01/2019 11:14

I felt slightly awkward about this for some reason. I said "we're having a baby" rather than "I'm pregnant". And then we went out for a meal. My dad barely spoke. He was definitely in shock. I was 27 and recently married.

After me and my husband had been boyfriend and girlfriend for over 5 years and I was about 22, my sister told me that her and my mum were noseying in my bedroom and my mum was VERY shocked to find some condoms... We had been having sex since I was 17 but she obviously buried her head in the sand! I thought it was kind of obvious.

ForalltheSaints · 12/01/2019 11:16

Congratulations, hope all goes well. A married woman having a child cannot be a shock to anyone. If you can make the announcement face to face I think that would be better.

bevelino · 12/01/2019 11:28

OP, your parents are more likely to be focused on their new grandchild than how it was made.

81Byerley · 12/01/2019 11:29

I was the same when I had my first baby!

Hotterthanahotthing · 12/01/2019 11:34

If it's too hard to tell them you are pregnant tell them they will be grandparents.Congratulations.

Stars1979 · 12/01/2019 11:35

When I told my mum I was pregnant, she said you didn’t tell us you were “trying”. This felt mortifying. I just thought to myself why would I tell you, when I would feel I was saying, we are having lots of sex” . You will be fine, congratulations. They won’t think anything about sex just a beautiful new life 😊

NotTodayHun · 12/01/2019 11:41

Telling my mum was easy. I couldn't bring myself to tell my dad I kept putting it off and putting it off (I had a small, neat bump that was easy to conceal around him) and I had no reason to worry about telling my dad, I just couldn't do it! I was 30, not even a young girl who was scared! I eventually plucked up the courage to tell him .... after he had a couple of drinks .... when I was 32 weeks pregnant .... and he was fine. No idea what all the fuss was about. I honestly can't explain it lol.

DoveGreylove · 12/01/2019 11:46

OP I felt EXACTLY the same and I'm 33. I was nervous to tell my parents too, but my dad was sooooo excited at the prospect of becoming a grandfather he definitely didn't care about how our baby was made ;-) xx

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 12/01/2019 12:01

If you think about it, OP, then you are proof that your parents had sex.

I wonder how that makes you feel.

SusanneLinder · 12/01/2019 12:01

Dear God ladies....
I have 2 DGC and one on way, and last thing that DH and I were thinking about was whether they had sex or not! Jeez, how did they think they were conceived, cos we had sex too ( girls probably more sick that parents do it cos we are so OLD....

Both married women ( although doesn't matter to us about the married bit necessarily), so of course we know you had sex ffs.

All we care about was that pregnancy went well,girls were ok, helped out when we could and got excited about much loved dgc, and couldn't wait till they were born! A baby is exciting news, and am so proud of my DD's and DGC, love them to bits!

C'mon, just tell us so we can be excited too. ( Dunno if it helps that we live in a house that sex does get discussed, just not the intimate personal details stuff...lol)

Original poster

Lolois · 12/01/2019 12:08

Thanks everyone- feel less strange in my embarrassment and will tell them soon!
Congratulations to everyone who is pregnant!!

OP posts:

foxessocks · 12/01/2019 12:13

I felt let this too - both times!! The second time I got my dh to tell them in fact I think he told them the first time too. My parents were so happy! It's ridiculous now I think about it. I was just really embarrassed by it!

Pjsandbaileys · 12/01/2019 12:32

My sister who has a learning disability thinks sex is a barbaric act the dirty looks she gave my child's father during pregnancy amused me no end along the lines of "I know what did to my sister." Enjoy telling people it is a but like hey guys we had sex but it's such happy news share it!!

Pachyderm1 · 12/01/2019 12:34

Only a weirdo would be like ‘omg you had sex’ when you tell them you’re pregnant. Have more faith in your parents!

pineapplepenthouse · 12/01/2019 12:53

I felt like this for all four of my pregnancies! You’d think by number four it wouldn’t be an issue! It wasn’t even the sex thing I don’t think. I just found it awkward telling them! I also felt the same telling my work for some reason!

loubluee · 12/01/2019 13:00

18 and living with dad, found out that day, came home and he was all excited because I’d had my fourth acceptance letter to university. I burst into tears and told him I was pregnant. He hugged me and said don’t worry I got your mother pregnant too and look who I ended up with! Go tell your mother. So I went to mums, went in and made coffee, and she came into the kitchen and asked what was wrong, I started crying and said I’m pregnant. She hugged me and said ‘I better go baby shopping on the weekend then!’ And that was it lol. For the record I had ds and started university 3 months later! Now ds is in university!

Iwantamarshmallow · 12/01/2019 13:06

I know what u mean OP it crossed my mind when we told dhs parents I was pregnent. They didnt bat an eyelid though. Actually people would probably be more alarmed if you were not having sex. Congratulations x

Rockbird · 12/01/2019 13:07

I didn't feel like this but when I told them at work that I was pregnant with DD1 one colleague called out "ooh Rocky you've done the naughties!" Everyone pissed themselves laughing

Schmoobarb · 12/01/2019 13:10

Lol if you think about it too much it is a bit weird but just try not to dwell on it! Congratulations

Pandasarecute · 12/01/2019 13:14

Haha, I know what you mean OP. When I started investigations for infertility and had to go for a surgical procedure I didn't want to tell my parents as then they knew I was having lots of sex to try to get pregnant! Congratulations, I'm sure they'll be delighted

shaders · 12/01/2019 13:19

I'm really glad you have raised this OP. Thank you. It's got plenty people talking and making us all feel normal to of felt this way. I blame the parents for making us feel that sex is something to be ashamed of. I was very apprehensive announcing my first but with my 2nd 5 years later I felt proud and didn't care less what people thought. I did leave it until I was 20weeks because I wanted to keep it between just us, it made it feel more special. It gets very awkward when your preteen son suddenly realises what you and his dad did to create him and his sibling. I can still picture the horror on his face. I couldn't really deny it.

SuziQ10 · 12/01/2019 13:24

This made me giggle.
I feel so awkward my parents know I've had sex. Hopefully they think it was only once to make DD.

I bet they'll be made up.

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