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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why do childless people join Mumsnet?

255 replies

Sammysees · 12/01/2019 09:12

Each to their own and I’m not saying they shouldn’t join. There are a plethora of boards that help people with or without kids. The site is called “Mums”net though. I’m curious as to why someone without kids would even think to join the site in the first place. If you are childless and reading this ... Can I ask what made you join Mumsnet?

OP posts:
hamtoastiesandpickledeggs · 12/01/2019 09:54

Same as pp, I joined as planning a baby, fell pregnant, then miscarried. Found the support on here invaluable and can not thank the posters who held my virtual hand enough! Some were miles better than my 'real life' friends. I'm now pregnant again and enjoying reading what awaits me 😂🙈 possibly somewhat naively! 😂

PurpleDaisies · 12/01/2019 09:54

Because you won't get a more well rounded individual than someone that has been a mother and/or a wife for a prolonged period.
If advice is needed what better source than MNers

This is a ridiculous comment. Mothers are “more rounded”? Since when are mothers one homogeneous group of people?Biscuit

TeaMeBasil · 12/01/2019 09:55

Don't feel like a dick, it was just a bit thoughtless that's all.

It's a great place that offers so so much beyond parenting advice so it's a bit rankling for us childfree folk (for whatever reason that may be) to feel like we shouldn't be here. We get a little defensive!

On the upside, you've had a (gentle) Mumsnet roasting so you're really one of the family now!

OurChristmasMiracle · 12/01/2019 09:55

Because there’s many boards which don’t require you to be a parent. Adoption and conception being 2 that spring to mind. Also relationships.

Some on here lost a child have miscarried or have had a child placed for adoption.

R0binh0 · 12/01/2019 09:56

Agreed PurpleDaisies

This site shows there are some pretty bat shit mothers (and MILs) out there

RosemarysBabyDress · 12/01/2019 09:57

I have kids, and I spend more time reading the angry parking/neighbour/office threads

Whitney168 · 12/01/2019 09:58

As others have said, when you Google random stuff, MN often comes up and gives you the answer. I just read various of them to start with, and then eventually joined as it seems to be one of the busiest (mostly UK based) forums.

I just ignore the stuff about children, no interest, so don't worry ... I'm not watching you. Grin

Peanutss · 12/01/2019 09:59

Because you won't get a more well rounded individual than someone that has been a mother and/or a wife for a prolonged period

I can't even begin to explain how wrong you are.

PS. I am a wife. I am no more well rounded because of it than my single best friend. In fact, I'm fairly confident she's a better, kinder and more understanding person than me in general!

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 12/01/2019 10:00

Well, your post comes off a little offensive, however, I will overlook that, as I've written some posts that were a little, let's say indelicate? But, I am an Autist, so maybe you are too? Hmm

Firstly, my grandmother was English and I grew up on British television and love all things British, so that takes care of the first part of the Mum part.

Secondly, I'm child free (fixed that for you) not child less.

Thirdly, I come here as a child free woman to better understand my mother, my sister, my grandmother, my friends and myself. I am also married, so I can relate to other married women and their experiences.

And, lastly, I like to help people and I have been told in the past that I give good advice and I'm very empathetic. I've been told by therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists as well as friends, family, co workers and acquaintances that I would make a very good therapist, etc. However, I know, because of my ASD, I would get too emotionally involved with my patients so I choose to lend my sympathetic ear to those on mums net instead. Smile

lisasimpsonssaxophone · 12/01/2019 10:00

I found comfort and some great advice on the Relationships board when I had recently got out of a very abusive relationship. I think I first found a thread via Google that really helped me, then I just stuck around.

Reading threads on here has made me a far better friend to my friends who do have kids. I have a much better idea of what they might be feeling in certain situations and what to say (or not say!) thanks to people on here sharing their experiences. I don’t mean that I go around offering parenting advice! Just that I find it easier to be sensitive to things that might be difficult or things I could thoughtlessly say that might not go down well.

redexpat · 12/01/2019 10:00

I live overseas and was lonely. Its like having adult conversation when I had NO ONE to talk to.

AlexaAmbidextra · 12/01/2019 10:03

Because you won't get a more well rounded individual than someone that has been a mother and/or a wife for a prolonged period.

FFS. 🙄

GreatWesternValkyrie · 12/01/2019 10:03

Look at the trending topics and discussion of the day that are currently displayed Op, only 1 in 5 is a child related topic. That probably answers your question.

waywardfruit · 12/01/2019 10:04

Because there are a plethora of topics on here, and because MN is so huge they tend to pop up a lot if you type something into Google or similar.

So people will be searching about whether or not they can grow lemon trees outdoors in the UK, or they want to know if the email they have received is really spam and how do they tell, or they are interested in doing a DNA test to find long-lost cousins on their family tree. They may have a question about employees' rights, or are struggling with grief, or have a relative with dementia.

And they will just so happen to end up reading threads about those topics on MN. And end up coming back for other things as well.

I was already a mum when I found MN, but it wasn't the parenting stuff that brought me here at all.

newestbridearound · 12/01/2019 10:04

Joined because I was thinking of TTC after getting married, then along the way discovered I can’t have children and became very ill. I stay because I like the debate, the chat and being bedridden gets lonely. There’s so much stuff on here that isn’t related solely to being a mother.

PenCreed · 12/01/2019 10:06

People share experiences - I came to it by looking for real experience of a particular type of contraception. Stayed because I found other interesting threads. If I google a how to or kit query for DIY and I get a mumsnet thread, I read it because I know there’ll be a wide range of ability and experience, not just “expert” men (who are not necessarily).

It also helps me understand my friends with children slightly better as I can read about the wider context from lots of others. And has made me so thankful that my ILs are calm, sensible people who are super easy to get along with, as well as reminding me how awesome DH is and not to take either of those things for granted.

Plus comedy parking/bin threads.

Bezalelle · 12/01/2019 10:06

This sort of thread is really hurtful for women who are TTC and/or suffering losses.

Lemonylem · 12/01/2019 10:07

I joined when we started trying for a baby. The friends I met on the infertility boards have carried me through the horror of the following years.

But thank you for reminding me that I haven’t quite made it to the mums club yet. Maybe I should go and find an infertility forum to mix with my own kind.

Redglitter · 12/01/2019 10:09

Because you won't get a more well rounded individual than someone that has been a mother and/or a wife for a prolonged period

I dont know whether to laugh or be insulted by this. What absolute bollocks

nonevernotever · 12/01/2019 10:09

I was looking for online support when it looked as though our house sale was going to fall through and mn came up. I stayed because of the humour, the support and the sheer range of subjects. I should also point out that being childless doesn't mean that you exist in an adult only world. I spend a lot of time with nieces nephews great nieces and friends children.

TeaMeBasil · 12/01/2019 10:09

Because you won't get a more well rounded individual than someone that has been a mother and/or a wife for a prolonged period

Bollocks. So if you're neither of these things then clearly you are lacking life experience and need to be shown the way by a wife or mother?

MilkGoatee · 12/01/2019 10:11

Have you ever even glanced on the topic list of boards at all, or do you only ever go to child care related ones?

whatswithtodaytoday · 12/01/2019 10:11

I was googling paint colours and sofa reviews. Kept getting Mumsnet threads. Started reading the active topics.

Justkeeprollingalong · 12/01/2019 10:12

I am a mum but really come for the imaginative swearing and the bin war/parking threads, probably because I'm a well rounded individual.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 12/01/2019 10:12

Ok now I feel like a complete dick for asking a genuine question (or so I thought) what has been your favourite thread?

Heres a thing your now upset you've had your arse handed to you. But this question is asked every damn week, its either why are childless people or why are men on mumsnet.

Always with the sane justification "its called mums net ain't it" not dads/grannies/people net.

In response to the no dads etc ...its tag line is for parents by parents. So dads etc

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