SDD just got engaged. AIBU?

[Genuinelyshocked012]

Relatively new SDD. Have name changed for obvious reasons.

We have a good relationship, still getting to know each other but still quite close. Mother is not in the picture, I suppose I am the nearest thing to a mother figure that she has. She confides in me quite a lot.

She is 19 and at uni. Boyfriend is 20. They’ve just announced they are engaged.

They’ve met four months ago, been dating for three. He used to live near her uni but has moved an hour away, he drives to see her regularly. They manage the distance well.

He’s a nice guy, genuinely madly in love with her and SDD certainly seems madly in love with him.

They’ve had fights due to his family creating major issues and they made it through that, so I suppose you could say their relationship has been ‘tested.’

From what I gather, her boyfriend had a bit of an illustrious past but is now on the straight and narrow. This is all she has told me. Like I said, a lovely man. Will apparently do anything for her.

However, AIBU to be concerned by the fact she is engaged so young? Would IBU to talk to her about it?

Her dad/DH won’t say anything, but I’m so worried by her young age and the shortness of the relationship.

Or should I just mind my own business and accept that they’re young and in love and will do what they please?

FWIW, they don’t intend to set a date for at least a year. But they are entirely serious, she has a lovely ring and everything.

Also I don’t want to seem bitter- I’m delighted she has a nice boyfriend, but I think she’d be better off keeping him as just her boyfriend, for now!

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Owwlie
Good point about the engagement to be to “show” his family.

[DeaflySilence]

"Relatively new SDD. Have name changed for obvious reasons.We have a good relationship, still getting to know each other but still quite close."

So if your relationship with her is quite new, but you are already married to her dad, presumably you and your husband married quite quickly. Yes?

In which case she has seen that work for you and her father, which gives you plenty of common ground from which to support her, while still keeping a kindly eye on her, during their a long engagement.

[smartcarnotsosmartdriver]

I got engaged at 19 and married at 22 so similar to your SDD, 3 years will be long enough to tell if it's going to last. If you don't congratulate her she'll know you don't approve and it'll probably upset her. I remember the people that told me we were too young but we're still here, still proving them wrong.