Angry Old Men

[foggetyfog]

Three times over the past couple of weeks I have found myself in situations where I am being shouted and finger wagged at by angry old men (AOM) in their 60's or 70's over minor mistakes.

This morning it was driving into a shop car park without signalling when a man was about to cross the road. (it wasn't my local area, I wasn't sure if there were any parking spaces and I didn't notice him - he certainly didn't have to leap backwards or anything).

On each occasion I have immediately said sorry which the AOM has ignored and then explained to me in a shouty voice what I have done wrong and how stupid I am. I am quite certain they would not do this to a man. I am a generally polite, overweight, middle-aged woman.

AIBU in thinking I shouldn't have to put up with this bullying behaviour?

Could I also ask you to tell me what I should do next time it happens. Things I have considered so far are:

1. Completely ignoring them,
2. smiling saying "ooh silly me" (not my usual style)
3. taking a photo of them and saying I'm going to report them to the police for abusive behaviour
4. Telling them to go f* themselves (also not my usual style)
5. Hitting them in the balls with a cricket bat which I will buy especially for the purpose and take with me everywhere I go

6. start indicating when turning in to car parks and being aware of pedestrians when turning in to car parks

Or...you make your intentions clear by indicating when you turn a corner

Yes to 6 (as above) and don't describe people by their age. Turning without indicating would make anyone jump out of the way regardless of age or sex.

This morning it was driving into a shop car park without signalling when a man was about to cross the road. (it wasn't my local area, I wasn't sure if there were any parking spaces and I didn't notice him - he certainly didn't have to leap backwards or anything).

None of these are valid reasons not to use your indicators. In fact - not noticing him - umm, that is very bad on your part?!

I hate it when people don't indicate their intentions, and if they have their window open, will generally shout for them to learn to use them as they carry on driving past.

In your situation I would accept the fact that you cocked up and deal with it. You'd probably fail your driving test these days for it.

Don't make this about their age or sex either. I'm 25 and female, and would have also had a word with you about it if I was crossing over and you didn't see me/indicate.

I think pp have missed the point. You acknowledged you made a mistake but the fact is that no he wouldn't have berated a man in the same way regardless of the offence.
I usually go for 1, but wish I could do 4 or 5!

You're coming across as ageist and daft.

I specifically said he didn't have to jump out of my way. On other occasions I haven't been driving. Posters so far seem to be agreeing it is fine to have a shouty rant at me for a mistake I immediately apologised for.
You are clearly as horrible and angry as the other people I have encountered recently so yes, you're right, age is irrelevant.

Whereas you are coming across as entirely reasonable and measured in your responses! Not.

Three times over the past couple of weeks I have found myself in situations where I am being shouted and finger wagged at

....ever considered the problem might be you?

This happens to me too! Irate older men who overreact massively to any minor mistakes I make. Seems to be getting more common recently - are people just generally more frustrated at the moment?

Thank you fromnowhere for being the only person to have actually understood the point I was trying to make. The gender of the angry people is relevant because I don't think they would behave like this to another man.

Snowchin , I'm not alone then. I wonder if it's connected with anger over Brexit. It's a horrible trend, I think the best response is probably to ignore.

I am a generally polite, overweight, middle-aged woman.

So what is your definition of 'middle-aged' if you think 60 is old?

Why is every little fault to do with Brexit?

Bloody hell is there NOTHING that's not Brexit's fault?

What does your weight or Brexit have to do with it?

This all sounds peculiar to me.

And you're polite except when you should be indicating and when posters disagree with you?

But you said

Three times over the past couple of weeks I have found myself in situations where I am being shouted and finger wagged at by angry old men (AOM) in their 60's or 70's over minor mistakes.

Which suggests you've made other mistakes recently. Why would they have a go at a passenger?

I specifically said he didn't have to jump out of my way.

So? You still would have startled him and made him stop in his tracks, because you weren't indicating.

i get what you are saying - SOME older men do think women are fair game to shout are because they are lower on the pecking order, they cant start a fight to a younger man anymore so are nasty/ OTT to a woman.

you're parking and indication should be anticipated by a pedestrian in a car park plus you were not an inch away from.

Spidey sensing a common denominator.

I think older people feel more vulnerable physically, and then not being noticed when they’re standing there in plain sight. You’re probably not the first person to do that to him and he got fed up with feeling unsafe.

my parents are 72 and 75, they walk 10 miles around a reservoir parkland area most weeks. take a few hours, like.

You seem to have the attitude that it's OK for you to make mistakes as long as you apologise for them.

How many steps to "Brexit is all the fault of old people so it is fair game to run them over"?

Have you thought about extra driving lessons OP?
Not sure the ageism or tendancy to make ridiculous assumptions can be solved as easily