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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to panic about childcare?

57 replies

LoadOfUtterBoswellocks · 11/01/2019 13:38

What on earth happens if you cannot sort childcare? DD (5) will soon have no after school care, both DH and I work full time, all the childminders and the after school club are full, and I am currently clinging to the ceiling and gibbering. I might climb down to run around the house screaming later.

Have tried council site, childcare.co.uk, FaceBook, the school year's WhatsApp group, the after school club, asking friends and asking our current childminder for any recommendations, and so far no joy. No family who could possibly do it for 200 miles.

Am I going to have to give up work??

OP posts:
cantbeb0thered · 11/01/2019 13:39

Au pair.

5foot5 · 11/01/2019 13:40

Can you and/or your DH sort out some flexible arrangement with work over working times or one of you work from home for a temporary measure until you find someone?

Can you afford an au pair?

swingofthings · 11/01/2019 13:40

What happened with your current provider? I would speak to your manager right away, explain the situation and show all efforts you've put in to find an alternative. They might have some good suggestions.

Nodrama999 · 11/01/2019 13:41

Have you spoken to your boss? They may be flexible and agree to adjust your hours (but I know what it’s like when they are not!)
I used to work 7.00am-3.00pm, but I was prepared and gave a list of jobs that could be done prior to “normal” working hours

Hanuman · 11/01/2019 14:04

Temporary nanny through an agency? Until you can get a space somewhere else.

Or both of you doing flexible working for a while

BrewingMyCuppa · 11/01/2019 15:46

Yes but what if the OP can't afford/doesn't have space for an au pair? And their work won't allow flexi working? Then what?

Bumblebee39 · 11/01/2019 15:48

You may need to broaden your search area, or find a temporary solution where some friends or neighbours could help for a short time until a space opens up

Satsumaeater · 11/01/2019 15:49

Can you and your DH negotiate flexible working or shorter hours until something comes up. Is your provider closing down or something?

Ultimately yes I guess one of you would have to give up work unless you can't either find childcare or flex/cut down your hours in some way.

Where do you live? Is it somewhere quite rural without many options?

QforCucumber · 11/01/2019 15:52

There's a private nursery near us which caters for up to 12 year olds after school and mornings too, worth looking into if any offer similar?

madmum5811 · 11/01/2019 15:53

Friend found a wonderful person on this website.

www.childcare.co.uk/find/Nannies

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 11/01/2019 15:56

How supportive are your workplace generally? In your shoes I would go to my boss, explain the situation and ask if there's anyway they can allow you to start earlier and finish earlier or cut your hours temporarily until you find a longer term solution. They may be willing to do this rather than risk losing you altogether.

Holidayshopping · 11/01/2019 15:59

DD (5) will soon have no after school care

Why-what’s happened to the current arrangement?

Passthepigs · 11/01/2019 15:59

I know the feeling! People on here always suggest au pair or nanny but unless you are in London these rarely exist!

I love rurally, there is no childminder, nanny or au pair close by. We don’t have space, and can’t afford, a live in nanny. If DS doesn’t get a place in the school after school club then I will have to give up work.

frenchknitting · 11/01/2019 16:00

She already said she tried childcare.co.uk.

Could you use annual leave between you and DH to finish early a few days per week and watch a child for someone else in the same situation, and they reciprocate for you the other days? That would only work in the short term though.

It's a nightmare - I know many people who have had to cut their hours when their child started school, when they had been hoping to increase them.

Fundays12 · 11/01/2019 16:02

You could reduce your hours to school hours or change our hours one of you starts early and finishes early and the other starts later and finishes later.

MrsMWA · 11/01/2019 16:02

Can you afford private school? They are often cheaper than a nanny (depends where you live) and offer wrap around care (early drop off/late pick up). It’s like nursery for older kids.

Northernsights · 11/01/2019 16:03

After school childcare is a complete pain. I know others have mentioned after school nannies, but can you put ad in local paper/ Facebook groups and specifically say you’d be happy for someone to bring their own baby/ child. It might open up some more options

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 11/01/2019 16:03

Would any of your DD's school-friends parents be willing to take her home and have for a couple of hours after-school two days a week? Then you and DH could try to negotiate with your respective workplaces about the other three days? If I wasn't working myself I would do this for someone in your position.

RedSkyLastNight · 11/01/2019 16:05

Have you tried a piecemeal approach ie different providers covering different days? Do school have any suggestions?

TulipsInbloom1 · 11/01/2019 16:07

Can you cut hours? Or one of you start as early as poss, with the other dropping at school, and then the early starter finishing early to do pick up?

DragonMamma · 11/01/2019 16:09

After school care is the bane of most parents life. You have my sympathies.

We couldn’t get after school club care for our DC for about 2 years - it was only small and it was reliant on the older kids leaving for secondary.

I ended up negotiating finishing work early a couple of days a week, my mum does two pick ups and we eventually managed to get one after school club night.

Smaller children are so much easier - at least private nurseries usually open until 6pm Sad

themoomoo · 11/01/2019 16:18

This is why CM's have the advantage over nurseries. The vast vast majority just continue to have the child once they start school.

Dixiechickonhols · 11/01/2019 16:21

Have you asked on local Facebook buy and sell site?

trilbydoll · 11/01/2019 16:26

Flexible working, family coming to stay or an emergency nanny would work for a couple of weeks while you're waiting for something more permanent but they're all a bit stressful long term.

What's happened to the current arrangement? You'll probably be okay in Sept as everyone moves around, so it's only 7 months to get through, although that probably feels like a lifetime right now.

Ultimately if you've got no childcare you/dh have to leave work at 2pm and take it unpaid, no matter how unhappy your employer is you don't really have any choice.

Qasd · 11/01/2019 16:28

It is so stressful so much sympathy! I am always amazed at the hatred on this site for sahm mums for school age children and “why do they not get a job”. Sourcing after school care was easily the most stressful thing and if I had not already had a job I was desperate not to give up I don’t know I could have had the persistence necessary to find something.

Anyway most of the options open to you have already been suggested but left are

  • an au pair yourself, or perhaps if you have a nearby friend who uses an au pair see is you can negotiate yours too for a bit of extra cash, friends have done that and made it work
  • advitise on a local Facebook site and see if anyone comes forward, with options like bringing their own children which may open it up to someone happy to do after school rather than wanting a full time position
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