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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to panic about childcare?

57 replies

LoadOfUtterBoswellocks · 11/01/2019 13:38

What on earth happens if you cannot sort childcare? DD (5) will soon have no after school care, both DH and I work full time, all the childminders and the after school club are full, and I am currently clinging to the ceiling and gibbering. I might climb down to run around the house screaming later.

Have tried council site, childcare.co.uk, FaceBook, the school year's WhatsApp group, the after school club, asking friends and asking our current childminder for any recommendations, and so far no joy. No family who could possibly do it for 200 miles.

Am I going to have to give up work??

OP posts:
MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 11/01/2019 16:30

Ultimately if you've got no childcare you/dh have to leave work at 2pm and take it unpaid, no matter how unhappy your employer is you don't really have any choice

They can request to leave early and take it as unpaid. The employer is under no obligation whatsoever to agree to this, they only have to say they've given it consideration.

TchoupiEtDoudou · 11/01/2019 16:32

Ugh it's awful isn't it.

We need 11 hours care a week split over 4 days.

After school club is only 5 hours.

Fortunately breakfast club isn't usual here so employers don't mind us arriving after school drop off (which means a 9am start time for us, not too late).

We have someone who does the hours but since September, one has quit with no notice to take up her studies again, and the new one has been ill 4 days and late 2 days (causing problems with the school).

Can you work from home at all?
Or ask at a local college/university?

AWishForWingsThatWork · 11/01/2019 16:32

Why are only you pulling your hair out? Why isn't your DH scrambling to get it covered, too?

This is a problem you both have to sort. Don't give up your own career security so he doesn't have to. You are in this as parents together. Both of you need to talk to your bosses if you can't sort this and see what you can work out between you if you can't find someone.

chloworm · 11/01/2019 16:33

My sister had to give up work when her daughter started school. There were no childminders, after-school clubs or family willing to help. Couldn't afford a nanny, no room for au pair. It surprised me at how common it is round here for people to give up work because of no childcare options. Rural area. Nurseries are great for the under 5s, but many people are stuck when children start school.

OrdinarySnowflake · 11/01/2019 16:34

Contact Nanny agencies, they might have someone on their books who'll do after school only as a temporary job while you find something more long term.

Have you checked if you can get childcare for any days, if not all the ones you need? If you could get a childminder to do 2 days, someone else to do another, then you and dh both ask to go 4 days a week.

Its shit but if you really can't find childcare, one of you will have to stop working.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 11/01/2019 16:34

Why are only you pulling your hair out? Why isn't your DH scrambling to get it covered, too?

To be fair, he might be for all we know.

Echobelly · 11/01/2019 16:35

Yes, in first instance speak to both your managers as absolutely men should be making the case that they need to help too.

I'm sorry, child care stress is the worst, especially around school. Hope you get something sorted.

olderthanyouthink · 11/01/2019 17:28

See if any local teenagers would do it? I could have when I was at college (and I looked after my SN brother so a primary school kid would have probably been easier)

Or a Mum on maternity leave?

Or a nanny share, someone's kid gets a play mate while paying less?

You might have to combine more than one solution.

Allthewaves · 11/01/2019 17:28

Most of daycares run after school pick up and afterschools around here. Most people don't think of daycares for older kids

arethereanyleftatall · 11/01/2019 17:47

If you've tried absolutely everything, and there's literally nothing left, you know there's demand to switch careers and become a childminder. (Caveat - or your husband)

AcrossthePond55 · 11/01/2019 18:01

Any universities near by? They may have students who would be interested in an afternoon job if it works with their class schedule. You may have to 'hire' two to fill your needs, but often times uni students have free afternoons (at least where I live).

I did afterschool care as a student for about a year for a couple of family friends. My classes were done by 2, he got off the bus at around 2.30. He did his homework whilst I did mine! One of his parents was usually home by 5-5.30.

Pinky333777 · 11/01/2019 18:09

Babysitter while you're on the waiting list for club/childminder.
Nanny share? - there must be others in the same situation.
Talk to boss and say sorry but this is how it is temporarily and reduce hours.

Pigflewpast · 12/01/2019 13:50

Mumsnet really opens my eyes to how different people live. “Get a nanny” “tell your employer you need to leave at 2pm from now on”. Obviously completely normal to those saying it but so so far from reality where I live. Nobody I’ve ever known has had a nanny. It’s nursery or childminder or school wrap around. Most people are 2 working parents, fairly well off, but a nanny would not register as a possibility, or an au pair. Few have a spare room for a start.
I can’t think of one person who could just drop their work hours because of childcare, without either losing their job or not being able to afford their current lifestyle and having to move area, which in itself isn’t always possible.

Yumyumbananas · 12/01/2019 13:55

Change of school to one with wrap around care?

Thehop · 12/01/2019 13:59

Is there a nursery near school that offers after school club? We do.

Northernsights · 12/01/2019 19:33

@Pigflewpast if you need childcare for anything before 730am or past 6pm then wraparound or childminders / nursery aren’t an option for anybody I know. Also for more than one child a nanny is often no different in price to childminder- and it’s often cheaper for 3 or more dc

Fr3d · 12/01/2019 20:25

I know people who literally knocked on doors of people on the area who they would trust their kids with. E.g. a SAHP, retiree, someone with similar aged kids. And even shared it out as not everyone wants to do full time childcare. Workaway is a temporary option, kinda like au pair but covers all kinds of work including childcare. Move school as a last resort?

arethereanyleftatall · 12/01/2019 20:32

Pig flew past - where I live childminders are about a fiver per child per hour, and all they do is have the child in their house. A nanny can be ten pounds an hour, so the same for two kids, cheaper for more than two, with the added benefit of being in your own house/being able to drive to activities.

themoomoo · 13/01/2019 08:59

arethereanyleftatall ALL the CM's i know drive to activities/ go to parks/ playgrounds etc. Not quite sure what your comment means

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 13/01/2019 09:23

Move school as a last resort?

At all the primary schools around here you have to reapply for a place at breakfast/after-school club every academic year. There is no guarantee you will get a place. So moving schools would be extremely risky unless you're going to potentially uproot your DC every year!

I really feel for you, OP. How are you doing?

Pigflewpast · 13/01/2019 13:52

That’s interesting, a nanny is obviously not a more expensive option in many cases, it just isn’t something you come across here

Yura · 13/01/2019 13:55

What happened to your current provider? One reason we never used a nursery is that our childminder just keeps the kids for before/after school and holidays and is flexible with times, i.e. beford 7:30 or after 6:30 no problem

gallicgirl · 13/01/2019 14:04

It's awful, isn't it? I actually thought for a while that I wouldn't be able to return to work after having DS because I couldn't find childcare for both DC. In the end, DD has a childminder who picks up from school and DS went to two different childminders until he turned one and ratios permitted one childminder to take him both days. Factor in breakfast club too and I have a spreadsheet to keep track of payments.

At just 5, I would approach private nurseries to see if they can take her in and then you would have to arrange a taxi pick-up. Maybe school or LA will be able to provide a list of approved drivers.

Good luck.

Original poster
LoadOfUtterBoswellocks · 13/01/2019 19:21

Thanks for the ideas, all.

Our current childminder is moving away, we learned last month. So we scrambled to find another, and luckily we found one in a couple of days. All sorted. Then she texted me on Friday to say sorry, she can't do it now. So in about a month, we are going to be absolutely stuck.

DH is self-employed

OP posts:
TulipsInbloom1 · 13/01/2019 20:35

If he is self employed then no boss to ask! Bonus!