AIBU for wishing One Born Every Minute would put warnings on distressing episodes

[gimmeadoughnut123]

I watched OBEM a lot before pregnancy anyway, but have asked DH to watch it a few times, as I think he was under an illusion that birth was 'clean' (not a lot of blood, etc). I'm now half way through pregnancy.

I've watched it recently, two people had big bleeds that meant lots of doctors running around tending to Mum, and now I've seen one where baby isn't breathing properly on its own and has been rushed away to neo natal.

I'm aware these things do, very sadly, happen. But should they not put some sort of warnings on there as a heads up?! I don't care about the normal blood/poo/whatever in birth scenes, but I'm never prepared for the emotional stuff.

I keep saying I'm going to stop watching it whilst pregnant but it never happens.

And before anyone has a go, I know this is real life and I know you aren't prepared for it when it happens, either. But I wouldn't watch that sort of content in pregnancy as I don't want any anxieties about it during labour.

I think you are confusing OBEM with actual labour videos for pregnant women. It is a bit like putting a warning on “a life in A and E”, the clue is in the title.

The programme follows life in a busy labour ward, which involves them rushing to emergencies, talking to young and older mums, delivering beautiful babies and also dealing with fainting fathers etc etc. The reality is sometimes babies get taken to scbu or neonatal as that is the reality of what happened on that day. It is a “reality” programme, you can’t pick and choose which aspects they show

I'd just stop watching it if I were you.

The programme was made for entertainment, not educational, purposes.

I don't think birth is anything like how they show it on the programme.

And of course they show dramatic scenes to make things more 'interesting'.

For what it’s worth I’ve had two babies, one miscarriage and both have gone to scbu/neonatal after being born.

This means that watching the scenes where the baby is not breathing well on its own isn’t as ‘scary’ to me as when someone goes in to have a caesarean under anaesthetic as personally that is where my anxiety lies- both circumstances happen very frequently- this illustrates that it would be unfeasible to put a warning up for each episode, otherwise you will know what’s happening before you see it!

If you don't want to see that sort of content, don't watch that particular programme.

I don't think it's the sort of programme to give a realistic idea of what labour will be like anyway.

I think it is not possible to put a warning on every episode of a series that scares people.
Things that scare people death, violence, war, illness... the just play a role in so many series that would not be possible.

Also some people are scared by spiders, dogs... whatever. It is just not possible.

If they stopped showing these scenes they'd be criticised for giving an unrealistically rosy view of childbirth.

If they gave warnings they'd be spoiling the ending.

I think you need to stop watching while pregnant, or read an episode summary online before seeing it in the flesh.

It's probably better to be aware that kind of thing can and does happen, especially if you're asking your oh to watch it to prepare him, I say that with a birthing experience just like you described above.

The programme was made for entertainment, not educational, purposes.

That's the reason I watch it (entertainment). It's so lovely when the babies are born. I wanted DH to watch it because he thought that babies came out clean and was horrified by everything they're covered in. So he watched a few to learn to expect it.
You're right about the reason they show dramatic scenes.

It is a “reality” programme, you can’t pick and choose which aspects they show

I'm not asking them not to show it, just a warning: contains scenes some may find distressing or something of the like at the beginning. I wouldn't watch the episodes where there are serious concerns for Mum or baby, personally, whilst I am pregnant. As 9 times out of 10 it shows the labour and baby is born without any issues.

OBEM is the last thing you should be watching. I actually got really angry with it after I had my baby, the light hearted tone, the plinky plonky music, everyone all laughing together and breathing through the pain etc. I felt dead betrayed that it wasn't like that for me and couldn't watch it for a long time.

I agree with the other posters suggesting not watching it whilst you are pregnant. I had to avoid 'Calltge Midwife' as well as OBEM during both pregnancies. Now I can watch both again.

They show distressing things because distressing things can happen!
Would be very misleading to show all happy ,easy births so totally disagree they just put them in to make it more interesting

Before anyone says anything, re me saying...

As 9 times out of 10 it shows the labour and baby is born without any issues.

I know that this isn't the case IRL. Just when I happen to watch one born, normally, the labours seem to go smoothly. So the show takes me by surprise when there are serious concerns.

had to avoid 'Calltge Midwife' as well as OBEM during both pregnancies. Now I can watch both again.

I've never been able to watch Call The Midwife. I watched about 10 mins once and that was enough for me!

I'm not asking them not to show it, just a warning: contains scenes some may find distressing or something of the like at the beginning

But wouldn't every episode have that warning? There's always either an emergency or one of the births with a really sad backstory of them losing a previous baby or similar (which tend to be the bits that really upset me). There aren't many episodes when they show three births with no alarming bits at all - because that would be both wildly unrealistic (OBEM appears to try and show roughly the 'right' proportion of C sections, some of which are emergency and potentially v scary, for instance) and also very same-y

If they were going to have a warning for distressing scenes it would have to be on every episode because different things effect different people, a regular labour is going to distress some viewers.

But wouldn't every episode have that warning?

I must have got lucky with what I have watched in the past as I've never seen a lot of the really distressing scenes. There's always a sad backstory, but in regards to the actual labour I never see much that worries me. Recently, it's the majority of the ones I watch.

I agree it's not something you should watch during pregnancy, they are just showing some people's reality of child birth ,not everyone will. have straightforward births mine certainly were not straightforward .

It's horrific. I run away when it comes on - realistic maybe, but it's too much for me!

Stop watching it. It's not going to prepare you in any way shape for form for your own labour. Apart from there will be a midwife there and a monitor.
Just give yourself a break, do yourself and your stress levels a favour and stop watching it. You sound a bit obsessed as if you are trying to prove everything will be fine if you just watch enough episodes that go well or something.
Like pulling petals off, he loves, he loves me not. oh shit, start again.

I found watching the 'bad' experiences really helpful. It made me realise how normal it is for things to go wrong and all the different versions of birth there are - so it didn't panic me or husband when my first birth went spectacularly off plan!

I think the onus is on the adult watching it.

They'll know there's every chance of seeing something distressing, without needing a warning.

There are far too many 'Captain Obvious' warnings nowadays imo.

You sound a bit obsessed as if you are trying to prove everything will be fine if you just watch enough episodes that go well or something.

No, I just enjoy watching it. I always have. All of a sudden I just seem to see more of the distressing episodes.
I think I am going to stop watching it though!

I found watching the 'bad' experiences really helpful. It made me realise how normal it is for things to go wrong and all the different versions of birth there are - so it didn't panic me or husband when my first birth went spectacularly off plan!

That's a good way to look at it

The only one I've ever been really upset by is when the mum was in theatre and the baby's shoulders were stuck.... you could see the panic in everyones faces even though they very much kept their cool. That was awful though thankfully both mum and baby were OK.

I never watched anything like it while pregnant though!!!