To not want to share the school run

[Winterfellwonderland]

To cut a long story short I need to nip it in the bud now. I don't want to.share the school run with someone who never takes their own kids and gets her parents/neighbors/random people and me. She asked me before Xmas if we could come to an arrangement but I feel that "arrangement" is just going to be me ferrying her kids about for free because I genuinely feel that she can't be relied on to ensure my lot get to school. So how do I make it clear it can't go on?

You know the only reason she asked you is that the others are getting fed up with her.

I was regularly asked by neighbour to collect dc from school. Happy to oblige. Then, one morning at delivery she asked my dh to get me to collect hers that evening. He completely forgot. So she gets call from school saying dc not collected. No big issue as small local school and she was home.
Called me and completely and absolutely devoured me for not collecting them. I never heard anything like it. It was abuse, shouting and roaring.
Then could never understand why l never wanted to collect them again or enter into any arrangement with her. These people are complete user whose only motivation is getting an easy life for themselves.

this doesn't work for me. Don't give a reason - if asked - for various reasons it doesn't work for me.......got to dash, things to do

@JuneBirthdayGirl 😮😮😮
Wow that's an entitled neighbour!!! Glad you never picked her DC up again after her shouting at you !

God what a CF and entitled, say no to all requests, or be at her beck and call. Her kids her responsibility, she sounds very rude and entitiled.

Wow - no just no

I'll help anyone in a proper emergency e.g emergency hospital admission or parents in broken down car on M6 and I don't mind a bit of intermittent help if its give and take but I will not tie myself down to a regular commitment on that sort of thing.

Just tell her "no can do its not convenient for us, hope you can sort something out"

No. I am not a registered childminder.

Or just collect her one day and whisper at her to stop taking the piss out of your mum or you'll batter her?

I did this to a CF who attached herself to my mother. She had her picking up and ferrying her children to weekend activities. Then asked her to look after the children (who were very badly behaved) for a couple of days so she could get her teeth done abroad.

'Whilst I'm happy to step in in an emergency (or whatever you are happy with) I'm not in a position to commit to a regular arrangement.'

@Winterfellwonderland did you nip it in the bud?

I would say no sorry, but I dont mind helping you out on the odd occasion in an emergency.

Gosh - @shitland - what on earth happened?

Problem is, there will be an 'emergency' every week.

Nip it in the bud, and say NO.

We're all right behind you!

@twighlightcafe come on! Friday night entertainment if you have time, please! Tell us the full story!

Imagine if CF was asking you for £10 (as a gift, not a loan) 3 times every week for nothing in return. I am 100% sure you would just say no, sorry without too much further thought. This really isn't any different.

Try just saying no, sorry
Or no, sorry, I don't want to look after your children for you
If she persists just repeat or say your children are not my responsibility

She is simply using you and it's not very nice behaviour. Hold your boundaries OP it's important for you and also an important example to set your children.

Doing favours for friends is quite different and it doesn't look like this.

OP what did you do/say to the other Mum in the end ?

Snog That's a really good idea! I shall try that sometimes! I do get a bit put upon too and despite knowing what to do or say I don't always remember it at the time and then get stuck with awful people who just take advantage. I'll try and think of the tenner. I can't work out CF. Sorry to be dim.

CF =Cheeky Fucker, they are a growing breed !
Fortunately,the word "No" works to repel their advances.
My grandma said to me."When I got to 80,I found I could say "No" to invitations and requests.
"Don't wait till you are 80! Say it now !It's your life you are sacrificing to the worthless exploiters."She was right.

OP started a new thread yesterday continuing this called "Return of the awful school gate mum"

I can't link thread as I'm on Mumsnet app but maybe another Poster can.