My DH was assaulted at work oday

[Silentviolet]

My DH has learning difficulties. Over the past 6 years he has worked so hard and has been offered a job at a new company for better pay and better hours.

He's been in the job for less than a month and the guy who he is working with made it clear on the first day that he didn't want my DH working with him. The role was created for my DH so this guy has never had anyone working with him before.

My DH has been coming home saying this guy makes things difficult and makes remarks. Today he came home and said that he has been threatened and physically assaulted by this guy. My DH had made an error and thus guy flipped at him, shouting and swearing calling him fucking useless and told him to get out. When my DH told him to calm down the guy started pushing him repeatedly. My DH stood his ground and this guy pushed him really hard into the door.

My DH reported it and the guy was spoken to and made to apologise. My DH now doesn't want to go back but has to as we have 2 small Dc's and he can't afford to be out of work.

I am in a professional role and consider myself to conduct myself in a professional manner. My DH looks to me alot because of learning difficulties, especially when it comes to anything like this.

AIBU to schedule a meeting with the manager and go in to discuss this with him? Surely it's a sackable offence what this guy has done to my DH? They work so close together how can the trust be restored? I am SO angry by blood is pumping. Either calm me down or give me some mumsnetters please

jess are you on glue?

I am so sorry to read your OP. This is so sad and it truly makes me wonder what kind of lunatics live amongst us.

First, I think the manager needs to be spoken to. Secondly, in writing. Everything needs to be in writing so it can be legally binding.

Then: police. I believe this is the right path even if the guy gets sacked or not.

So sorry for your DH. It will turn out ok! Best of luck, Op!

not sure why I'm engaging with this but just in case that was a genuine query Jess I believe 'special needs' encompasses the entire range of differently abled people whilst 'learning difficulties ' refers specifically to people who, you know, have difficulty learning. This might be simply an inability to read whilst being in every otherbway completely NT, however this would mean that whilst a relationship would not be much affected, having a working life/career would be massively impacted.

I am no expert but it is not hard for me to understand this so no. I don't think there are lots of Mumsnetters wondering this. I think you are the only one. And now it's been explained. So your curiosity is sated and you can stop talking. Yes?

A learning difficulty doesn't affect intelligence, it's something very specific (dyslexia being the most obvious example, but also processing problems and lots of other things). Learning disabilities are distinct from learning difficulties because learning disabilities have to include an impact on intellect to be recognised as disabilities. Jess

Special needs is an even broader term. I think you mean special educational needs Jess but the OP's husband is no longer in education. Something like a processing problem would still make it challenging for him to learn certain types of new information or ways of doing things outside education - like needing to be shown a lot more often and needing a lot more chances to practice a sequence of actions or procedures. Doesn't mean he isn't intelligent.

What type of environment or business is it?

I'd be tempted to get him to ring in sick for rest of the week you ring in for him and say it's stress. Then explain he is frighten to go to work due to the assault. Then see what they say he needs to make a formal complaint . Agree it would be best coming from him in a later any discipline case you are allowed to take someone with you so you could go.
The fact dh has LD is irrelevent it's a case of 1 colleague hit another should be sackable in no way is this acceptable .

I'm so sorry for your poor dh. This man clearly had an agenda from the start. Encourage your dh to not let this go. He needs to take it the furthest it can go. So the guy apologised so he acknowledges doing it, that's a good start. And your dh shouldnt leave this job, the other guy needs to leave.

Does your DH have a formal diagnosis? Did he declare his disability to HR etc when applying for the job? Was there a conversation about reasonable adjustments had?

Check the relevant section of the 2010 Equalities Act, but I am pretty sure that your DH would be considered to have a protected characteristic therefore best for things to be resolved in his favour now.

Is he in the union? If not, he needs to join today and get them onside.

I would suggest the behaviour of the colleague needs to be raised under the relevant disciplinary policy of the workplace, but if DH feels uncomfortable doing that, then the union should.

To be honest, my first thought was ring the old job and see if his position is still vacant, and see if they will have him back. It's not the right thing to do in terms of standing up for disabled rights and morally letting the bully win over the victim, but it might well be the right thing to do for DH's happiness and mental health. I can't see your DH being happy short, medium or long term in a company where physical assault and bullying against a person with a disability anybody is not taken seriously inherently, even if he manages to force the issue. If the other guy keeps his job he's going to make DH very unhappy, even if he keeps technically the right side of employment law.

I say this as a person with personal experience of bullying in the workplace, which destroyed me mentally, and who learned the unpleasant way that the law, ACAS and an SME won't look after the victim, especially if you've been working at the company under a year. His disability should mean he is better protected under law than other people, but I would strongly advise you to take qualified advice about what that means in reality. I have a physical impairment and lost a (different) job because of it, but the employers were able to very easily pretend it was for a different reason and it turned out there was nothing I or anybody I went to for help could do about it.

@Silentviolet just wondering if there was any update? Hope DH is okay X

@jessstan I am disgusted at your attitude. My DH would be classed as having learning difficulties as he has severe dyslexia. I went to a grammar school and have a degree. We have been together for 13 years. We work very well together.

Me too. I have a learning difficulty (ADHD). I got some of the best grades across the university in my undergrad (even though I was undiagnosed/ unmedicated at that time), and am going back for my masters this year.

Having learning difficulties doesn't mean you're thick. Often people with ADHD and autism especially are very intelligent. It just means that you have additional difficulties when learning. Hence the name

jessstan just RTFT. ADHD (not ADD, this term was disregarded years ago - ADHD also includes people who are primarily inattentive) is absolutely considered a learning difficulty. You are very ignorant.

Just wondered how your husband is getting on now? Have things calmed down for him? I hope all is ok xxxx

I would have gone to the police. It’s not too late. I hope things have improved for him.

What do you mean by “learning difficulties” ?

Your DH is entirely supported by emolument law ( if you are based in the uk & I think all of Europe). A disability is a "protected characteristic" so falls out of the normal 2 years service rules. I think you should call ACAS if you are UK based, they can be a bit vague so could be worth a google of employment law & disability. Do your research before making any calls.