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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

STI test "joke"

83 replies

Sparklydewdrops · 09/01/2019 14:13

Ok I'll try to keep this brief ! Husband went to a&e last night with bad stomachs pains ,,, phoned me on way home and they had said it was one of two things ,,, kidney stone or an STI . Stupidly I made a throwaway comment of omg imagine if i caught an Sti off a toilet seat ,,, I laughed , it was a joke . I was tired and said it without thinking ,,, I know you can't even catch anything that way ! I honestly don't know why I said it , I was just talking without thinking ! Well anyway now my husband sees this as some kind of admission of guilt , so now no matter what the results he's going to think I'm guilty of who knows what ! The joke of it is I have to idea when or how he thinks I would cheat ! The only place I ever go is Tesco alone , only have males on my fb that I'm related to , have a handful of people's phone number (all family except maybe 3) and I literally have no life outside the home so to speak ! We have cctv that shows the front and back of house so no one could come and go without being seen . I've told him it was a stupid comment but he won't accept it ,,,, I know what he's like and now this will be the sort of thing that he's going to bring up over the years which will end in big rows ! I feel like he's accusing me with no good reason ,, he feels like I wouldn't say something like that without something to hide ! Thoughts ????

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 09/01/2019 19:28

I had something vaguely similar a partner. Not STI related, but being completely ridiculous at a time when it might have been convenient for him to be single perhaps.
He was away with work and accused me of being unfaithful because I had a contact on my mobile call me in the middle of the night drunk.
The crap he was coming out with was preposterous and made me wonder if it was projection on his part. Told him where to go and stuck to it.
It's not good. I'd pack my bag and go to stay with a friend or relative.
Red flags - unreasonable behaviour, abusive behaviour, lack of trust, he might have an STI from being unfaithful.

Cosyjimjamsforautumn · 09/01/2019 19:32

Suspected UTI not STI - from your description of his symptoms. But the additional pain is that he's acting like a control freak dick over nothing Hmm

MarmaladeIsMyJam · 09/01/2019 19:32

He’s an utter prick.

I really don’t understand why he would get you to do a lie detector test though. Surely it’s easier to get an STI check and prove him wrong???

MulticolourMophead · 09/01/2019 19:35

OP, I'd be sure that he's the one who has cheated here. It's classic behaviour, he's trying to twist it onto you.

And organising a lie detector test is extreme behaviour, I would tell him that he has to go first.

But on reflection, I'd just leave him. He's controlling and abusive. I left someone after 30 years, so it's doable.

Wer2Next · 09/01/2019 19:41

Grow a backbone. Why are you putting up with this shit?

Aridane · 09/01/2019 20:16

Bizarre

Marshmallow91 · 09/01/2019 21:18

He's not normal. I routinely joke about all manner of stuff, including things like that with my partner, and he does the same.

Your partner is not behaving normally. He is extremely controlling. This is a horrible situation to be in for you, but I have to be honest in saying he's a completely unreasonable, nasty c*.

lola006 · 09/01/2019 21:39

Ffs op, tell him to shut up about a lie detector test. For one, a simple google (I’m bored!) says the average cost is £600. You have that lying around for something frivolous?

Also, the results are so controversial that they verge on useless. My brother beat one as part of a university experiment.

I’ve been on MN for about a year now and you’re getting my first LTB.

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