AIBU to think that some people spend more time thinking about what they are going to wear, then thinking about whether it's wise to have a child?

[MissLanesAmericanCousin]

I seriously don't get it. And, it infuriates me. Creating and shaping a human being is, imo, is the most important job in the entire world. To me, the decision to get pregnant or get someone pregnant is the most important decision a human being could ever make. Barring non-consensual sex of course, and outright ignorance of birth control, why are some people so mindless when it comes to making this life-changing and life making decision? Am I right to be this upset?

How upset are you?

How are you defining 'mindless' when it comes to other people's decision processes? Their criteria different from yours?

Or are you talking about not using contracetption and just hoping for the best?

How exactly do you know how much thought people put into having a child? I find the OP really offensive actually.

I think you’re making a lot of unfair assumptions that you have no right to make.

How are you quantifying this?

Think you need to expand

After reading MN for close to a year, I have come to the conclusion that some people (both men and women) are very blasé about procreating, which I think leads to some parents that truly do not want to parent thus you have unwanted children that grow up hurt and damaged.

I personally put alot of thought into when to have my DC. I have no idea how much thought other people have given it. How would you?

This feels like you have specific examples in mind. From just this op you do sound a little unreasonable tbh

Still not seeing it. Or the comparison to choosing outfits.

Do you have mn examples of what has made you feel like this? Overall from reading mn this is not the conclusion I make. There’s a lot of love, care and thought for dc here.

Well having children is a pretty strong biological drive. It’s only very recently we had much of a choice I suppose.

Personally I think I put a bit much thought into it all, from the decision to do it to all the agonising over every bloody minutiae of parenting. I envy natural instinctive mums.

The "choosing outfits" was just to show that it seems that a lot of women seem to "fall' pregnant by accident or men seem to accidentally get someone pregnant. I think it's a monumental decision and should not be taken lightly. I just feel sorry for the kids who get screwed up because of this. I find it puzzling that I am getting this kind of reaction tbh. However, that does mean that I am learning something today.

What?

Tbh when I became pregnant with ds1 I probably did spend more time worrying about what to wear because he was unplanned. That doesn’t make me a bad parent raising damaged children.

‘Non-consensual sex’ - you mean rape

Of course because if I’m ever going to want another baby I need to dress well so catch the father

Also feel sorry for the kids
I fell pregnant at 22 not planned dad walked at 2 weeks old
She is the sole reason of my life, she is well looked after, happy , thriving and has no reason for people to feel sorry for her

Hmm... How many children were deeply considered and planned before widespread birth control? Were whole generations before the late twentieth century messed up then , by your logic? (Also you mean than not then in your title, bugbear!)

Barring non-consensual sex of course how the hell would you know? I was raped and the majority of people have no idea. It's people like you who made an already very difficult time emotionally even harder. Now I just find people pathetic. Nothing better to do than judge others. What a sad life.

So you're talking about accidental pregnancy? Too many people are getting pregnant accidentally?

I think prospective parents should have to pass some sort of basic literacy and numeracy exams and have jobs before they can procreate (those who couldn’t pass due to medical issues are exempt).

What would you do about it OP? Hand out licences or get people to take a test before letting them ttc?

I’m not being facetious, I’m interested.

But pregnancy can happen by accident, even with birth control. This doesn’t mean irresponsible or automatically a neglectful parent. And some parents who plan are shit parents.

I just feel sorry for the kids who get screwed up because of this my son is the light of my life and far from screwed up. Why would you think his life would get screwed up? What a weird way to think!

I find it puzzling that I am getting this kind of reaction tbh. However, that does mean that I am learning something today. yep...that you're a judgmental

it seems that a lot of women seem to "fall' pregnant by accident or men seem to accidentally get someone pregnant. I think it's a monumental decision and should not be taken lightly.

It's not a decision to have an accident I want to understand you!