AIBU to think that some people spend more time thinking about what they are going to wear, then thinking about whether it's wise to have a child?

[MissLanesAmericanCousin]

I seriously don't get it. And, it infuriates me. Creating and shaping a human being is, imo, is the most important job in the entire world. To me, the decision to get pregnant or get someone pregnant is the most important decision a human being could ever make. Barring non-consensual sex of course, and outright ignorance of birth control, why are some people so mindless when it comes to making this life-changing and life making decision? Am I right to be this upset?

I understand where you are coming from, in my experience my and DH talked for ages about having a baby and really thought about it, but the reality is completely different. I had PND after having my DD and really beat myself up, because I had wanted her for so long and really thought I was ready, but once she was here I was terrified to bond with her and convinced myself I couldn't do it, I even wrote a not and went to leave in the middle of the night one time. I am so glad I didn't, we now have a DS too and I love them both incredibly and couldn't imagine having left them, I still have bad days occasionally when I think they would be better off without me, but it passes.
I get upset too when I hear some stories of how some children have been treated, I am not a perfect mother, but I try my best for my DC, the house isn't always clean, but they are well fed, love fruit and veg and are both happy and advanced for their ages, so I must be doing something right.
Sorry hijacked your thread a little, unfortunately the only stories that make it onto the news are the horror stories, there are some lovely ones out there though. An example I have seen on fb, 3 children found a wallet with money in it on a driveway and took it up to the person's house to give it back and another one, a white woman adopted a black girl (yes the colours are important, stick with me) and she didn't know how to look after her hair, so asked on social media for help, a woman of only offered her help, but went around to their house to show her how to look after her DD's hair properly.
Just thought I would share these with you OP, to show there is some light in this world, as I mentioned above we unfortunately only get to see the dark, as that's what the news like to report.

I think the very nature of unexpected pregnancies means that people put a lot of thought into it when they didn't expect to, and are doing it because they have to rather than they want to. But really the amount of thought and preparation pre-children has very little to do with how good a parent you end up being. I was the most prepared person ever, and I'm crap at it

I agree OP there's birth control, morning after pill, loads of options. People don't want to say it out loud but a lot of people are very irresponsible when it comes to sex. When I started having sex I used condoms then I had the implant put in because I knew I didn't want to have a baby. Once I knew I wanted to have a baby, I had it removed then when baby was 6 weeks old I had implant put in. I didn't have sex in those 3 weeks because I knew there was a chance I could get pregnant if I did. But even if I HAD I would of got the morning after pill. Because I'm not stupid. However, sometimes contraception does fail.

YABU. to be honest, the people who spend years planning their perfect life and the exact time when they could fit having a child into it give me the rage more than the people who fall in love, fall pregnant and then devote their lives to raising their kids.

I don’t think you can plan for children. Even if you have them when everything on paper is perfect it may only be perfect until a crisis hits. Once children are born they are there for a life time and nobody can plan a life time in advance.

I also think pregnancy gives parents time to adjust and prepare, it’s rare that a baby is completely unexpected on the day they are born.

I think most people parent ‘well enough’ and the children grow up fine and feel loved and cared for.

Unfortunately some children do have bad childhoods but there’s no way of knowing if these were ‘accidents’ or well planned babies at the beginning because nobody knows how they will manage parenting before a baby comes along or if circumstances will change and make it more of challenge.

YANBU OP, I had a similar thread and posters jumped on my throat saying I was inconsiderate and degrading. it's one thing to 'accidentally' get pregnant in a serious relationship, it's another to get pregnant from a fling because of a lackadaisical attitude to contraception.

You can say you love your child and you live for them, I don't doubt it, but many UK households are struggling due to single parenthood/too many kids&related expenses. Someone posted they were unsure they could afford another kid on a £50k household income and was advised to save up/cut down on expenses. Others said she should just have the kid, make of that what you will.....

To the last poster single parents etc can still afford to look after their kids.
Couples who plan to have kids can still end up single .....

But suppose it’s ok because they were planned so will auto get a better life