Summer born babies - am I wrong?

[Sunflowermuma]

Hi all, I'm probably BU particularly as my friends plans don't actually have any impact on me but

I have 2DD D1 is 3 and May Born. DD2 is 6m July Born

My friend has 3 kids. DS aged 7Sept, DD 3Aug and DS 5mAug

Our two daughters are both due to start school in September at different schools, my friend told me this week how she is in contact with the school to have her daughter start Sept 2020 instead as she's summer born. I asked why as her daughter is already in nursery 5 days, has no health issues and certainly isn't behind on development. Her reasoning? She just doesn't want a child to be youngest in the year.

Her son is very bright and doing really well at school and she puts that down to his sept birthday.

I queried her and said someone has to be the youngest and surely if she doesn't have any developmental issues the school will just say no. She replied saying that she'll make something up as she'll do what she can to get her DD ahead. Again this made no sense to me as surely having another year at nursery won't be good for her and she may get picked on once the other kids realise? She got a bit snappy with me and told me to mind my own so I now feel bad for questioning her, I was polite and tbh just trying to understand her thinking

Do people really do this? I understand delaying for developmental reasons but just to make your child the oldest instead of youngest?

I genuinely don't get why you would even care about this. You say what if everyone did it - but lets be honest, that won't happen. The vast majority of people are in a rush to get their children into school. So it isn't an issue. Let her do what she feels best for her child.

its totally insane that people are planning pregnancy around deficiencies in the school system.

I'm glad there is now more flexibility on start times, but that's a sticking plaster for the real problem which is an education system that doesn't even pretend to allow all children to reach their potential.

Generally speaking I would say it benefits the whole class to have a more mature just 5 year old filling a space than a just 4 year old. Surely the older child will be calmer, better at paying attention, better at following instructions, better vocabulary, generally more manageable, because of an extra 25% life experience?

I agree DustyCropHopper. You hear “they’ll cope” or “they’ll manage” and I always wonder why that’s apparently enough? Surviving rather than thriving?

I watched my daughter thrive in Reception and would love my son to have a similar experience, although I accept they are very different children and their academic results will probably also be very different. It’s not just about academic achievement though - it’s social and emotional readiness.

People also say “Reception and preschool both follow the EYFS, so why worry so much about Reception?” I personally thought the jump from preschool to reception was absolutely VAST, especially for a child who wasn’t necessarily in childcare for five days a week.

I found it a bigger issue having summer babies at GCSE and college age! My daughter wasn’t quite ready to take her exams seriously but was loads more grown up the following year and she also found it hard her close friends were able to drive nearly a year before she could.

Tub and Lisa

Well yes, that's why I said for the most part luck doesn't come into it. The vast majority of people are able to plan their families if they want to. I've had miscarriages myself, however I would still have planned my baby not to be a summer born, although when I had mine, the option to defer did not exist. Nowadays I would go with the flow and just defer if necessary.

It is my personal observation that summer born babies are much less poorly, certainly my winter borns were plaugued with bronchiolitis and the like, so there are pros and cons to everything.

Haven't rtft but if I could have my time again I would have liked to delay starting my July born DC1 back another year. He was fine when he started but the older he gets the more I notice little struggles. Life would have been easier for him had he been the eldest in the class. I think delaying start date is getting more common. In DC2's class there are a number of children born in the previous summer, starting right from the May. I think it's great that parents have the ability to choose.

my sons football team at school has lost a number of the key players this year as they had to be under 12s as of September 1.

sorry posted too soon should say his class is 11-12 year olds and there was certainly a bias towards older kids for sports

I guess it depends on the child? I’m an August baby and went to school just after the age of 4 - no problems here. Could read and write before I went; graduated from 1st degree at 20 and have a 2nd now too.....seems odd to make something up though if the reality is that the child doesn’t have any problems.

My kid is a late summer child and because of all the nonsense spouted I made a point of teacher her letters, phonics, numbers, adding objects. Talking and watching lots of educational CBeebies programmes. I went overboard and it was all unnecessary - she was fine and not behind after all that obviously.
Socially there was a small difference but nothing that a good nursery couldn’t address. I think nursery is helpful for summer borns to get them up to speed.

My DD was the youngest in the year. She did find the playground a bit scary, but on the other hand was one of the brightest in the class. As confidence grew, she overcame her fear of the playground and had lots of friends.

Fast forward many years, the ones in her primary class who continued with A levels and are forecast to get the higher grades (ie all As/A*s) funnily enough are all born end June-end Aug.

The is all a relatively recent issue actually.

When I started teaching, in early 1990s, not all areas had reception classes, and regular pre-schools were in less than 50% of boroughs/counties.
Most kids went to play school, and started school into year 1, which was then more play based anyway.

When reception classes came in, you started in the term you turned 5, so some started in sept, some in jan, and some in April.

We really are still doing a social experiment on a whole generation who have all been in pre-school since 3 and then full time education from 4.

It is all too early. They shoudl be in play based settings until they are 6 or 7.
It makes me sad actually. A proper play based early years environment would be fine for any under 6. School regime is not.

My August boy is top of his class - and physically bigger than all the other lads. There is a real skew in his year and most of them are born between September and February. He’s academically and physically spot on but for some reason he is most friendly with the children in the years above and below his.
I was a September baby. I skipped a year in primary and went from being the oldest in the year to the youngest. It didn’t make much difference and, it being the 80s, no one thought to mention it or ask my opinion (they just moved my desk). It didn’t do me any harm academically (ended up with a science based PhD). I was never very socially adept but I’m an INTJ personality (very geeky and introverted, unusual in females) so I’m guessing I’d have been that way regardless of which academic year I was in.

The summer born excuse is normally used by parents who can't face their children going to 'big school'.

Rubbish, there is considerable evidence on the performance of summer borns and the lag lasting right up to teen years and GCSE. This pattern holds in countries starting at different points of the year.

OP I'm an August, was always youngest in my year (and was bumped a year which made it worse). Two of my children are late Summer as well. When mine went there was no option to defer but August babies did not start school until January which for mine was a reasonable compromise.

My DC are tall and were verbal and so were in classes with children a year older but with similar expectations. The difference socially and emotionally between a just 5 and a nearly 7 are huge. I definitely noticed a difference between the late Summers and their Early Spring siblings.

That said I would base it on the individual child. Some children (girls in particular) seem to suffer less and if they come from a supportive/enriching home the "catch up" period is less of an issue. Consider your own child and be as flexible as the system allows. We already start formal education much earlier than most countries.

Individually - Any parent wants the best for their child and will do what they can to achieve this. Thus deferring.

As a group - this practise widens the gaps between rich and poor. A summer born child whose parents can afford to defer, can potentially be 1and a quarter years older than their already disadvanged poorer peer who can't defer.

steppemum I agree with you. DS is June born and started school at 4y3mo. He's doing fine and he likes school but there is so much pressure on them so young. I would have preferred a system that has play based learning until 6/7.

Well as previous OP has said this will only apply to her first year...she will end up back in her correct years group with DC's that have been at school a year longer then herself.

She will also be going into a year group where she will be a new comer and the rest of the year already bonded friendships

I'm another who tried to plan my pregnancy to avoid a summer-born baby, though we were lucky not to experience fertility issues. And FWIW I'm now mildly worried that DD will get bored doing an extra year of nursery. Can't win!

Having been the youngest it didn't affect me. However, at secondary school I was moved up a year because they thought I was capable of the work. If I had always been in that year it would have been fine, but I had missed a fair bit and found it difficult to catch up.

I feel I would have done better at exams in the end, had I been left as I was. To start in a different year where the other pupils are not streets ahead would be much easier than being moved, but obviously depends on the child.

I deferred Reception for my late August born DC. It was surprisingly easy, and I don't regret it at all.

Oldraver
no, she won't.
If your borough has put in place the recommendation that allows summer borns to defer, then it is a permanent deferral.

The law was changed, it was all over th enews, about ayear or more ago!

Lots of people posting misinformation on here.

If you child is born between April and August, you have the right to defer their school entry by a year, and that is an on-going referral, they will remain with that group right through school.

Well as previous OP has said this will only apply to her first year...she will end up back in her correct years group with DC's that have been at school a year longer then herself

This is quite simply incorrect and it’s been pointed out several times. Schools and local authorities (depending on who is the admissions authority) are increasingly amenable to summer borns deferring and entering Reception, not Y1.

Does anyone know if a deferred child is able to play sport with their new year group, or do they have to go with their 'correct' year group? (I dont mean for school pe lessons, I mean once they start competing) What happens if they start getting really good and end up say in national competitions?

It's your friend's decision what she does with her kids but as a general comment I'd say that the summer born disadvantage is primarily an issue at the population level. Within a single classroom, the impact of birth month will be greatly outweighed by ability, any special needs or learning disabilities and sociodemographic factors.