to tell friend that her baby name choice is not unusual?

[toastofthetown]

My friend is expecting her first baby later this year. As I’m massively interested in baby names I asked her if she had anything in mind. She said she wanted something unique and is planning on using Aurora. I said that Aurora is a gorgeous name, but has risen hugely in popularity over the last few years and is now in the top hundred. My friend seemed annoyed with this and told me that it is a very uncommon name with only a few born each year, so I just changed the subject.

Since then I’ve been wondering if I said the wrong thing. Was I unreasonable to point out how popular the name is? I wouldn’t have said anything bad about the name itself, but l didn’t want her to regret her choice later, because she didn’t know about the sudden spike in popularity.

I’ve only ever know one Aurora and she would probably be about 28 now. Probably was a very unusual name circa 1990.

I know of 2 Auroras born within a few months of each. Both are about 2 years old now. You are right op, it has gained in popularity.

I know of 4 Auroras under 3.

I honestly wouldn’t have mentioned the popularity of the name if she hadn’t raised it first. Having an unusual name is important because her name was popular. I definitely agree that she wanted me to say how lovely and unusual it was, and was disappointed when I didn’t.

Its difficult, when I’m a total name nerd who gets excited when the baby name stats are released and has the Darkgreener website bookmarked, to smile and nod. I’ve never told anyone their name choice is dreadful (even when I’ve thought it) but I guess I thought this was different because it’s about facts not opinions. I don’t want to upset anyone, but I don’t want her to say in a few years, that if she’d know how quickly the name is rising, she have picked something different.

You're friend has now learned that she should not tell anyone her baby name choice.

I assume it's her first baby?

I made this mistake as well, for baby 2 and 3 I didn't tell anyone our baby name ideas because people ruin it for you.

Sadly for your friend, the name is really popular right now, as these stats show... 665 babies in 2017

But it is a nice name.

Names do that though, don't they? Eve/Eva/Evie was your great-grandma's name before about 2002 and then suddenly you were falling over them!

Ivy has had an huge jump since about 2011 according to the figures, although I've never actually met a little one.

When you have your first kid, you really don't know all the kids at nursery and play group and school, so your pool of names is mostly your friends, family, work colleagues - mostly other adults.

So yeah, its easy not to know whats in and what isn't.

True - and what it makes it harder is that 'most popular name' lists only help so far, because it's also determined by your area. We had two names on our final shortlist for DS, which were both similar in popularity (towards bottom of the top 20, so very popular but not ubiquitous). Once we had him I discovered that one of those names - it so happens not the one we chose, but could easily have been - is the name that literally one in two male babies his age I meet has. I went to a baby class where there were four boy babies, and three of them had this name, with the fourth one being DS. I haven't met another baby with his name in real life. Clearly one of them is massively more popular in my area and demographic and national lists didn't warn us of this!

Posted too soon. I thought my DD's name would be unusual (it's not why we chose it) but she had 2 others in her class.

I've never met an Aurora but don't believe it to be uncommon. Personally if I was your friend I wouldn't have told you, but that's because I don't like people giving their two penneth on baby names. You didn't insult the name and she was disappointed by your reaction. She will have learnt.

Sorry but I think Aurora is awful.

Wouldn't care if it's super popular of not, I would never condemn a girl to THAT name for life!

YABVU. This baby is the first and only baby ever to be born so of course any name it's given will be massively special, due to the special baby it's attached to

Ease up OP, nod and smile is all that's safe in the realm of baby names. Now you know

I don't think you said anything wrong OP.

@lisasimpsonsbff

You can, if concerned about such things, download an excel spreadsheet from the ONS broken down by region. So you can get a name list for the South West, for instance. Obviously a couple of years out of date but better than nothing. There is a lot of variation by region.

I don't think you were being unreasonable at all. It's like if she'd said 'I've chosen name XYZ because I want a traditional French name to reflect my French ancestry', but you knew XYZ was actually a German name.

She specifically said she wanted a unique name, then gave a name that isn't even close to unique. Perhaps if she were a stranger I might just smile and nod. But if you're a good friend then you should be honest in those circumstances.

I hadn't heard of it until I recently watched the film Passengers with Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence in it. I like it but would find it a mouthful to say all the time. I would say it's uncommon at the moment.

I never think of Disney when I hear it, I only think of the northern lights, which I think is a beautiful association. If the name was purely that of a fairytale princess and nothing to do with a natural phenomena then I wouldn’t like it as much.
Just as long as the middle name isn’t Borealis though. That’s a step too far.

I know 3 Auroras born in 2018. Your friend is deluded if she thinks it's unusual.

It is on the up!
I have a very very unusual name. The spelling is unique (I’ve checked - there have been no other babies registered with my spelling of my name) and I HATE it!
No one growing up could spell it, no one could pronounce it. It was a nightmare. I’ve shortened it now - and it’s “a normal English name” so much easier. My in-laws were surprised to hear my full name at my wedding!
So yanbu - if she wants to have a totally unique one off name, she needs to keep her finger on the pulse and all you did was tell her that!

You weren't being unreasonable, but you would be if you started trying to prove yourself. If she mentions it again just say it's a beautiful name.

There were 650ish last year-but it is rocketing up the tables. Why not tell her that- then she at least knows. —and then she can choose something a bit less wet—

Oops-strikeout fail!

It's a born and bust name and is rocketing up the tables. It will be the next Isla.

But it is nice.

I probably wouldn't have directly mentioned it but steered her to somewhere like nanesdarkgreener which shows trends.

Some people are just hung up on naming their baby something unique..but of the people thatI know that had said that to me it turned out to be a popular on the rise name.

I had my DS2 in 2006 previous DS in 1986 (with a very popular name). I hadn't mixed with Mums or young kids for years and was totally unaware of current name trends. I didnt strive for different at all ans managed to pick a name that was at it's most popular that year

itsquiet I have a friend who named her baby Briar-Rose. I was a bit

I had an aunt who was called Briar, born somewhere around 1912. Sisters were called May and Iris as it was the fashion in those days to call girls after flowers. I don't think Briar or Iris are pretty names, or popular these days so maybe will become more popular due to being unused for many years.