to tell friend that her baby name choice is not unusual?

[toastofthetown]

My friend is expecting her first baby later this year. As I’m massively interested in baby names I asked her if she had anything in mind. She said she wanted something unique and is planning on using Aurora. I said that Aurora is a gorgeous name, but has risen hugely in popularity over the last few years and is now in the top hundred. My friend seemed annoyed with this and told me that it is a very uncommon name with only a few born each year, so I just changed the subject.

Since then I’ve been wondering if I said the wrong thing. Was I unreasonable to point out how popular the name is? I wouldn’t have said anything bad about the name itself, but l didn’t want her to regret her choice later, because she didn’t know about the sudden spike in popularity.

Isn't there a massive contradiction with all these decisions? If you choose a child's name which is highly unusual that's essentially because everyone else thinks it's horrible, whatever they tell you! If people genuinely think it's a lovely name it will be in widespread use.

I don't know any Auroras, but I could introduce her to Orla, Orla, Aria, Oriana and Ariana.
So it certainly won't stand out, if that is what she wants.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-england-45559619

This shows uk names from bbc website
It’s not just how many there are this year that’s worth looking at- it’s also whether it’s on the rise or fall

It's a really lovely name but I know 3 of them personally ranging from 2 to 6 years old and have taught about 5 or 6 in the past year or so. So not really common but it's not like she will never come across one.

The trouble with names like Aurora is that you need a pretty swish surname to match. It would not go too well with Jones for example.

And yes it's a Disney princess. There are always a few names around inspired by these. I have come across kids called Tiana, Ariel, Belle, Aurora. No Cinderellas or Mulans yet though!

@fiddlesticksakimbo Maybe it doesn't matter to those people that lots of others don't like the name? As long as the parents like it?

I had similar with a friend who has a son called Oliver. She was complaining about the name becoming popular and that there were barely any babies named Oliver in the year her son was born. (2000s) I was sure that it was already popular back then and looked it up later. It was the tenth most popular name that year. I didn't say anything because there was no point, but she still complains about everyone copying a trend she supposedly started.

In 2017 there were 665 babies named Aurora in England and Wales. It's obviously not rare but I dont think that's a massive amount spread across the country

She's probably more cross that the name is not as "unique" as she thinks it is (although I agree she doesn't understand what unique actually means), and took it out on you, rather than being cross with you for mentioning its rise in popularity. I don't really think you did anything wrong to draw her attention to that - if "uniqueness" was one of her aims, then telling her before she's committed to it is better than her finding out when it's too late!

I can't be doing with all that though - we named DS1 knowing full well that his name was in the top 20 of all English-speaking countries, because we liked the name! DS2's is a fair bit less common, but didn't matter - we just picked names we both liked.

665 across the the whole country is pretty unusual to be fair OP.

I think certain names are often geographically or class concentrated. We were in a fairly deprived inner city area where every second girl seemed to be called Lexi, Evie-Marie, Ava-Rose and a few Chardonnays, Shaznays and Porshas. The name Aurora from what I have seen emerges within these areas and the poor child baby will forever more be dressed in Disney dresses and Mickey mouse ears.

My brother lives in an area where there are more Margots, Persephones and Xanthes. A name like Aurora would probably be considered groundbreaking and unique where he is, so perhaps OP your friend is not on MN is not well versed on baby names outside her own area?

It was a teacher who told me she'd picked the name Eve because she didn't know a single one. Sometimes a name just cascades into use.
What can you do...nothing.
Let your friend find out for herself.

I don't think you were massively rude, she's just pissed off and took it out on you.

FWIW, I know an Aurora. I think it's pretty written down but a mouthful to say.

665 across the the whole country is pretty unusual to be fair OP.

It is, but when since it's gone from next to nothing to 665 in the most recent year, it's a trend I'd want to be aware of if I was choosing the name.

OP, you did the right thing. If she hadn't mentioned it being unusual I'm sure you'd have left it at "it's gorgeous". But if she was choosing it largely based on it being rare, I think it was ultimately kind to tell her that may not be the case.

I don't know anybody with that name, in South East UK

Looking at the stats (dark greener uses the ONS data), Aurora looks like it’s set to explode in popularity. I would take bets on it being a top ten name in the next decade.

I think she expected you to go 'oooh I've never heard anyone called that before' like you've never seen Sleeping Beauty.

Smile and nod. Always. My DD’s name is v unusual in England but v popular / traditional in Ireland, but not one of the popular Irish names here. I love it but am under no illusions that it’s unique.

Some of my friends have named their babies odd things. Smile and nod!

It's one of those names that I see a lot on forums but have never actually met one in real life. There aren't any at our school or nursery.

Dark greener also has my DD name at 0!
There have been a couple of old MN threads that mention it as an awful name so perhaps that's why!

When you have your first kid, you really don't know all the kids at nursery and play group and school, so your pool of names is mostly your friends, family, work colleagues - mostly other adults.

So yeah, its easy not to know whats in and what isn't.

About 5 years ago, my friend loved the very unusual name Ruby - she'd never met a Ruby - she didn't believe me when I told her ALL the babies are called Ruby.

There are at least two at my kids school with the name. Think it's quite common around here really. I know of at least one other, so I personally know 3.

Reminds me of my exSIL naming her son Oliver Jack in 2009 and then remarking a few months later that she was disappointed - she’d thought she was choosing an unusual name but had since met lots of babies named Oliver, Oliver Jack or Jack.... I nearly but didn’t LOL - she’d only needed to check the popularity lists to see they were no 1 & 2...

I don't know any but I don't know many under 5s now.