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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell friend that her baby name choice is not unusual?

284 replies

toastofthetown · 08/01/2019 11:31

My friend is expecting her first baby later this year. As I’m massively interested in baby names I asked her if she had anything in mind. She said she wanted something unique and is planning on using Aurora. I said that Aurora is a gorgeous name, but has risen hugely in popularity over the last few years and is now in the top hundred. My friend seemed annoyed with this and told me that it is a very uncommon name with only a few born each year, so I just changed the subject.

Since then I’ve been wondering if I said the wrong thing. Was I unreasonable to point out how popular the name is? I wouldn’t have said anything bad about the name itself, but l didn’t want her to regret her choice later, because she didn’t know about the sudden spike in popularity.

OP posts:
Floralgizelle · 08/01/2019 11:53

I dont think you were being unreasonable, as i dont think you said it to intentionally upset her, you were just having a conversation. Once you realised she got a little sensitive about it you changed the subject.

OutPinked · 08/01/2019 11:53

I’ve never met one personally, none in my DC’s classes either. It is unusual compared to Olivia or Sophie.

OutPinked · 08/01/2019 11:54

I’ve never met one personally, none in my DC’s classes either. It is unusual compared to Olivia or Sophie.

ExplodedPeach · 08/01/2019 11:54

She said she wanted something unique and is planning on using Aurora. I said that Aurora is a gorgeous name, but has risen hugely in popularity over the last few years and is now in the top hundred.

YANBU, I would have said almost exactly the same. Because if I wanted a unique name I would hope a friend would point it out to me if I chose something massively on the up!

icannotremember · 08/01/2019 11:55

I said that Aurora is a gorgeous name, but has risen hugely in popularity over the last few years and is now in the top hundred. My friend seemed annoyed with this and told me that it is a very uncommon name with only a few born each year

But you are right, and she is wrong. She is BU. You didn't slate her name choice- you said it was gorgeous. You just stated a fact on its rising popularity. If she's going to get annoyed because the name is popular perhaps she shouldn't use it.

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 08/01/2019 11:56

Yes DGRossetti I’m in NI - baby naming tend to be more traditional here, so we see less of the outside-the-top-50 names that PP are talking about.

FayFortune · 08/01/2019 11:57

The best way to point this out might have been to say " oh where does it come in the rankings, why don't you look it up?"

Then you don't get shot as the messenger bringing bad news.

Pachyderm1 · 08/01/2019 11:58

It slightly sounds like you wanted to take the wind out of her sails. The only appropriate response to someone telling you a baby name is ‘that’s lovely’.

unless they’ve chosen a name like Hitler or Vaginismus

icannotremember · 08/01/2019 11:58

And tbh I really don't get it when people care whether or not the name is popular. When I was having ds3, if he was a girl he was going to be Sofia. More than one person said "oh you can't use that name, it's the most popular name in the world right now", as if was at all relevant!

codenameduchess · 08/01/2019 11:58

Yanbu, it's gotten quite popular amongst the chavs recently. I know of at least 3 and I don't know or speak to many people.

Personally I think it's trying too hard to be cutesy and doesn't translate to an adult wanting to be taken seriously. Same with the many Anna's and Elsas.

In my experience the more people bang on about a 'unique' name for their kid the worse the name is... one kid i know has 13 names because the parents thought it was 'unique' 🤷🏼‍♀️

KurriKurri · 08/01/2019 11:59

I once made this mistake - told by neighbours what they'd called thier baby and I said chirpily 'oh that's nice there's a little boy at my playgroup with that name' (I knew several others as well but didn't mention them) they were annoyed with me because they'd thought he'd be the only one with that name (it was Merlin).

I hadn't really thought of it as being a problem - to me 'other people have chosen this' = 'it's a name people like' there's nothing intrinsically wonderful about a name no one else has thought of (or has thought of and rejected as being awful)

When my DD was at school she had several Eleanors and several Emma's in her class (3 of the Emmas were her close friends) all lovely very individual girls who happened to have the same name. I'm a bit meh about uniqueness for uniqueness' sake.

I'm not massively keen on Aurora - but not my baby not my business.

caringcarer · 08/01/2019 11:59

Even if you name a child an uncommon name at the time things change and it can become more popular. My sister called her daughter Matilda and then the Rhoad Dahl film came out and suddenly there were Matilda's everywhere. I called my son Bradley and then two years later Brad Pitt became famous and Bradley is now common. It really does not matter.

katekat383 · 08/01/2019 11:59

Aurora makes me think of the Northern Lights, not a fairytale character. It’s a pretty name and hardly ubiquitous.

FayFortune · 08/01/2019 12:00

Anna is an ordinary name which sounds grown up on an adult.

PinkHeart5914 · 08/01/2019 12:01

I’ve never met anyone with that name, not ever. So to me it is an uncommon name

SoupDragon · 08/01/2019 12:02

I don't think you did anything wrong, particularly as you dropped the subject after mentioning it.

Littlecaf · 08/01/2019 12:03

You could have said, ooh that’s lovely and uncommon. And left it. I just don’t think it’s worth falling out over baby names. It doesn’t affect your life so don’t negativey comment on any baby names (unless it’s Adolf or similar).

Suziepoozie · 08/01/2019 12:05

I knew this would be about the name Aurora before I opened it 😂 really common especially among under 1s now. Also the name of a cruise ship so I wouldn’t use it personally. Really hard for little kids to say and anyone who has problems saying r’s.

Enko · 08/01/2019 12:08

I don't think you did any thing wrong op. Like you I am a name fanatic and often look at popularity trends. drives me crazy when people say.. we didn't know it was popular and it's sad it's so popular when I suggested during pregnant they check top 100 it's all.. no we do t want a popular name. we you need to know what's popular to not use it if that's important to you.

Justaboy · 08/01/2019 12:10

My DD2 has a name that if you googled it you'd find it was last used in the year 1100 AD tho !

ReaganSomerset · 08/01/2019 12:10

Currently 82nd according to bounty, up 35 places from last year.

Queenofthestress · 08/01/2019 12:12

I have an Aurora in my family, and my DS is friends with an aurora

CrookedMe · 08/01/2019 12:15

It's a Disney Princess' name, if she thinks it's 'unique' she doesn't know what unique means.

ReaganSomerset · 08/01/2019 12:16

@skittlesandbeer

That's an American site using American data. That caught me out during baby naming. Phoebe comes out as very uncommon. We were so pleased with it. Until we found the UK charts (top 30!).

ReaganSomerset · 08/01/2019 12:17

It's a Disney Princess' name, if she thinks it's 'unique' she doesn't know what unique means

To be fair, Ariel, Mulan and Pocahontas are also Disney princesses...