To tell in laws I don't want them on holiday

[Lovelife12345]

So for Christmas I booked for me, my partner and two boys to go Butlin's in October as a suprise Present. I asked my step daughters mum if girls could come and she said no. She would consider it over next week (this was after I then booked) but still adamant she doesn't want them going. So now my MIl, SIL and BIL and wife are all on about gate crashing and coming with us. Booking for the girls and making them come as will make out to the mum we aren't there. My arguement is they never checked with us they have used assumed. And now having been getting sun offer codes to come. Aibu to talk to them Friday and say we don't want them coming or that if they do we will be doing our own thing.

I hate feeling restricted when you go as group because you have to consider what all other families want and Ida stressful. Especially when the nieces are all a pain. We have then also been told they we under no obligation will have to pay for all the girls activities and food. Firstly we wouldn't be eating with them as we have booked the premium food package, secondly who are they to dictate what we spend! Christmas the MIl decided to book for them and my partner when he stayed overnight to go
Cinema and then told him he has to pay taxi home and all snacks and drinks. Again wasn't his choice so he shouldn't be backed into a corner and being made she doesn't no our finances and he lost a days pay to
Stay overnight with girls as had no holiday and giels weren't allowed to stay.

Thing is when we go Butlin's we don't do the extra paid activities like the trampolines at £6 each a time, or the racing at £5 each. We do the activities included and pay for food as the package so don't need to worry about money. Hi family will spend endless amounts on all the extra stuff. So why should we put ourselves in debt to keep up with them and allow the girls to do everything with them when we refuse to pay it for the boys anyways. If we don't we will get a melt down and his family saying we are unfair. Put it this way his brother got married in Abroad and for them as a family of 8 spent £9000 on activities and food! It's obscene what gets spent.

We are going up Friday to see girls and MIl wanted to do a birthday tea for eldest and has now sent me through a bill! Why? Again not our choice of what we were going to do.
What would you say to your MIL as I am
Now seeing more and more on Facebook or them trying to book and get codes. Just angry they never asked to as they put it 'gatecrash' and we are suppose to be happy. Just feeling so backed into a corner. Failing that looking into changing our dates if not
Too expesemivw xx

Hello OP. Again. Slightly different tone for your first post but still recognisably you.

SD
Surely this is a compromise so they get to spend time with dad, since you both don't rate it as high a priority as your own kids or Diet Coke?

Have you actually the read the original post?

OP says they asked their step daughters mum if they can go and she said no....now her in-laws have invited themselves and making out as if OP and her family weren't there.
Surely this alone will cause drama?

What if your DSDs tell their mum youse were there? Or if there's any pictures?

Sounds like a nightmare.

I would say you don't feel comfortable with this.

I had got loads of bits left
From Christmas like sausage rolls etc I was going cook up and we were going to go
To the local soft play once picking up from
School and play then eat there.

If I understand correctly, the girls are at least 7 years old, and you're proposing to take them to a soft play centre for one of their birthdays? With three week old sausage rolls as the treat?

Aren't they too old to really enjoy soft play? Words fail me about how three week old leftover sausage rolls are a treat...

At least you have your 2 weeks all inclusive with just you, your partner and your boys to look forward to.

How is the application for court progressing?

MrsElijah OP has posted many times in the past. Her OP this time is misleading to anyone who doesn't know the history.

Yabu to be reading The Sun

Guess who’s back !! Why bother posting anything you don’t listen to the advice that anyone gives you nor do you see anything wrong with how you treat those girls, softplay and left over sausage rolls I’m sure she’ll love it 🤨 isn’t she too old for soft play ?

Good grief

@Godowneasy it's frozen sausage rolls that need cooking as we didn't use them. Plus things like party rings tubes of sweets and crisps we didn't eat. The 11 year old loves soft play and as it's her birthday that why we are taking her!

@MrsElijahMikaelson they are planning on booking it and telling her dates after. I gave the choice of two dates when I was booking and she said no to both so their mum doesn't know when we are going but it'll
Open up a can of worms. She moans she wants them to have a holiday, as she can't do them, but when given chance has said no. Not too sure why really, probably somwe get the blame in girls eyes so i have kept the messages to show them and explain that it was mummy not us.

so all the stuff that didn’t get used at Christmas then op 🙄

That's good of you. I'm sure they don't need copies of messages to remember every time they have been screwed over by you both in favour of "the boy's" so doubt she's had to waste her time doing the likes of that.

Ordinarily I'd say to keep out of it and let your DP sort things out with his DC, ex and DM. But in your case, he's worse than useless.
You do realise OP that yet again you are coming across as completely anti the girls and will do anything for your boys?
If your DP drops his hours, he's going to have even less available to afford travel to see his DDs and buy popcorn. He is shameful. And I can't say that you are any better.

I bought lots of food in as we thought we would have the girls down for Christmas so it was food for them. But as we weren't allowed them it didn't get used. So made sense to safe for her birthday so we could take her our, instead of just going out for food.
@Gazelda this is nothin to do with girls, purely his family and the way they are dictating we wanted girls to come. But on our terms as to what we choose to do and spend. The boys wouldn't go on the trampolines etc as we refuse to pay the cost when plenty is included on the price of Butlin's.

Yes his hours will reduce but my wages cover that! We will still visit them just as much; still pay same maintenance.
It's more sense for me to earn it than he as I am more reliable at staying at work

that was confusing... you wanted to take the step children n holiday but the mother said nope
the MIL is allowed to bring the step children so has booked to come and has said you are to pay?
so she is basically getting the girls for their father ( and you?) and them to spend time together?
she has said he needs to pay for them to do activities and fun things while on holiday and you dont want to because you wouldnt have anyway?
when he went and took them out to the movies his mother had to remind him hes paying on their daddy daughter date?
he is reducing his working hours in the hopes of reducing his support payments?
he doesnt pay anything over the mandated support payments?
is that the gist here?
really?
really?
both both need to give your head a big ass wobble
the mandated amount of money he is required to pay is a bare minimum, is is allowed to pay more so his children can be offered a better life style or at the very least the fucken basics ( which most even semi level intelligent people know is at most times not covered by the fucken bare minimum mandated amount he is now apparently forced against his and your will to pay)
you would bother rather see the mother work her guts out to pay for his children that he willingly helped create? and now he has a new woman he and you dont think he should have to pay for them?

just remember karma is something that hits twice as hard and twice as bad as what you do to others... i wouldnt like to be you

Do you hope those messages will counteract the lies their father has told them about why he couldn't to see them, like when he told them he was ill when in fact on holiday with you?

Lovelife
I think it's a very unusual 11 year old who would choose soft play as an option for a birthday treat. I can see that she may enjoy going with your DS as an outing geared towards him, but as an actual birthday treat? Most eleven year olds want to go bowling or the cinema or swimming or a sleepover. Have you actually asked her if this is her number one choice of treat?

Oooh I really want to read the OP's previous threads! 🍿🍿🍿

Come on. The girls mother is obviously saying you can't take them because she don't trust you alone with them for that long. I wouldn't either. So mil is trying to make sure they get a holiday.

What's that little tantrum there? Mil says if you go abroad she won't look after your sons. Good for her. These are the only ways your mil can show you how shitty your behaviour is.

Oh god it's you again 😂

Godown I can guarantee this birthday treat has been arranged with her sons in mind not here dsd.