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AIBU?

AIBU to feel insulted for having to pay for Christmas dinner at my SIL?

360 replies

Headwir3 · 06/01/2019 21:05

My SIL said she would host Christmas this year as she has a big new house and plenty of room for us all. I asked if I should bring something and she said she would just do a shop and split the cost. She did suggest we bring our own alcohol. I thought it was a little odd, as did my hubby but he reminded me that she was cheap and the food wouldn’t cost that much anyway! Best to just agree with it instead of making a fuss.

Anyway we had Christmas, I took up 5 bottles of wine (only drank one and my hubby didn’t drink any). Left them there when we left. We were given cereal for breakfast and tinned soup for lunch and a basic Christmas dinner. No puddings and just a little cheese for desert.

We just got the bill... it came to £40 each! AIBU to feel angry and insulted by this all? It doesn’t seem right to hand over money. Especially to family. Also I feel really ripped off! I don’t want to upset my husband, but his family are a new level of cheap. If I did that to my brother, he probably wouldn’t speak to me again!

OP posts:
FloatingthroughSpace · 09/01/2019 13:25

Well yes I don't cost like a b and b or ask for a particular amount, but this year I did ask for contributions. Buying takeaway or buying some shopping perfectly reasonable. Expecting one branch of the family to always shoulder the burden of "proper" hosting, as in all the expense, all the work, is plain unfair imo.

FayFortune · 09/01/2019 13:26

Our family have been known to fight over paying the cashier at the checkout!

Delatron · 09/01/2019 13:42

Obviously I didn’t mean in that situation floating. You haven’t invited them, they invite themselves!

petmad · 09/01/2019 13:56

i wouldnt pay for 40.00 id want home made soup or starter a nice christmas meal all fresh and veg and a homemade pudding from scratch and a drink or two

LovelyIssues · 09/01/2019 14:04

She sounds so crass! I doubt it would have even been £40 for the both of you, let alone each!!

FuckingYuleLog · 09/01/2019 18:48

😂 People saying the meat may have cost £100.
Yeah you’d definintely serve tinned soup followed by £100 joint of meat!

MrsBombastic · 09/01/2019 18:54

YANBU

You need to speak to her face to face and pull her up.

How many of you were there?

You could offer half that and make it known that you're aware she is ripping you off.... it's clearly a money making exercise.

I hosted 20 people over Christmas and Boxing day with ALL the trimmings and multiple desserts, cheese etc and that came to £200 including fizz.

There is no way she spent £40 per head, at the end of the day it's DH sister so if he doesn't want a fuss HE can pay for it.

BerylStreep · 10/01/2019 09:23

Well OP, what have you done?

I really don't think you can ask for receipts or an itemised breakdown. At the very most, you could query whether or not that amount includes alcohol, as DH wasn't drinking, and you only drank one bottle of the 5 bottles of wine you brought.

Delatron · 10/01/2019 11:10

I think I would politely ask whether the 5 bottles of wine you provided have been deducted from that ‘bill’. That would be at least £40/ £50 worth of wine. She can’t have it both ways.

cherish123 · 11/01/2019 22:49

Laundry costs? It's not a hotel!

I just think it's really poor etiquette to charge guests. It's not as though a group of friends got together and said let's all have xmas together. They asked you to come.

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