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AIBU to feel insulted for having to pay for Christmas dinner at my SIL?

360 replies

Headwir3 · 06/01/2019 21:05

My SIL said she would host Christmas this year as she has a big new house and plenty of room for us all. I asked if I should bring something and she said she would just do a shop and split the cost. She did suggest we bring our own alcohol. I thought it was a little odd, as did my hubby but he reminded me that she was cheap and the food wouldn’t cost that much anyway! Best to just agree with it instead of making a fuss.

Anyway we had Christmas, I took up 5 bottles of wine (only drank one and my hubby didn’t drink any). Left them there when we left. We were given cereal for breakfast and tinned soup for lunch and a basic Christmas dinner. No puddings and just a little cheese for desert.

We just got the bill... it came to £40 each! AIBU to feel angry and insulted by this all? It doesn’t seem right to hand over money. Especially to family. Also I feel really ripped off! I don’t want to upset my husband, but his family are a new level of cheap. If I did that to my brother, he probably wouldn’t speak to me again!

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 06/01/2019 21:07

How long were you there? How many are there in your family that you'd need to pay for?

Thingsthatgo · 06/01/2019 21:08

Seems odd to me, but you agreed to it beforehand, so you should pay. I think that asking for a breakdown of the bill is going to cause more trouble than it’s worth!

Thehop · 06/01/2019 21:09

£40 each is more than it cost but I don’t see what you can do?

Sugarhunnyicedtea · 06/01/2019 21:10

If you had breakfast were you there overnight?

ihopeyouwitchesareready · 06/01/2019 21:11

that is so uncouth and embarrassing. i would be asking her for an itemised bill and really be petty about it down to the last penny. make her see how mean and cheap she is being.

RayRayBidet · 06/01/2019 21:11

Insulted is a bit dramatic..
I hosted my family this year, I expected to cover the cost but they all insisted on giving something towards it which I thought was nice.
What does your DH say about it?

PinkFizzz · 06/01/2019 21:11

My SIL and brother hosted Christmas dinner this year, wouldn't take a penny towards it and just requested that we bring our own booze. It was lovely, loads of food, pudding etc.

I'd have happily paid them to cover some of the costs if they'd asked, I think YABU in that respect howevwr what you had doesn't sound £40 a head's worth.

Id probably pay it to keep the peace though.

Momo18 · 06/01/2019 21:11

That sounds extortionate. If it was a very basic meal with no frills I would question it tbh.

Cattus · 06/01/2019 21:11

I think she’s trying to make money out of you all, even if she’s not fully conscious that that’s her intention. She must be, because you wouldn’t get such a measly miserly set of meals in most houses whether Christmas or not.
Abdicate responsibility for this and ask your husband to deal with it. She’s not your sister.

ErickBroch · 06/01/2019 21:11

£40 each is a joke - I don't think there's anything wrong with contributing but £40 pp????

Penguincake · 06/01/2019 21:12

Pay the money and see it as a tax for never having to spend Christmas with them again.

Cattus · 06/01/2019 21:13

I’m not rich but I think I probably spent in the hundreds for my sister and family for 3 days. They brought some wine and drove here, so they have spent a bit too. I wouldn’t dream of totting it up and charging them the difference.

mummmy2017 · 06/01/2019 21:13

Yeah ask her for an itemised bill or everything, and how many were there?

AtrociousCircumstance · 06/01/2019 21:14

Ask for a breakdown of costs.

List what you had. Let her know the value of the wine you brought and didn't drink.


BlueJava · 06/01/2019 21:14

I'd pay and then never go there again. I'm sure you can have a lovely Xmas without them in years to come! That's a ridiculous price to pay and i would never invite people and then ask them to pay (unless perhaps with mates and we were very poor).

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 06/01/2019 21:15

Give her it in 10p pieces very random change.

Very pointedly read the local paper "Oh , I say look, Heinz Cream of Tomato is £3.59 for 4 in Tesco , you were well ripped off"

Drink the entire contents of her wine rack next time you visit (and tell her what a cheapskate she is while you're bladdered)

Decline any invite next year "Don;t fecking think so lovey , if I want to be fleeced I'll get re-incarnated as a sheep"

If it's your DH sister , let him tell her she's a CF

Headwir3 · 06/01/2019 21:15

We were there for 2 nights but got there late on Christmas Eve and left very early Boxing morning

OP posts:
schopenhauer · 06/01/2019 21:15

£40 each is crazy, I wouldn’t want to pay that. If she’s going to be that tight I would maybe try to deduct the cost of the wine you bought. Which of course is a very stingy thing to do but she has rather set the tone. I’d ask for a breakdown.

Cattus · 06/01/2019 21:16

I reckon you each cost her about £7, she’s a cheeky fucker.

Maelstrop · 06/01/2019 21:16

I'd demand back the wine, then!

ISdads · 06/01/2019 21:16

Go on .... ask for an itemised bill ... you know you want to!

Or send your own estimate

spugzbunny · 06/01/2019 21:17

Pay the money but ask for your wk e back. Say you must have left it and you'll give her the cash next time you see and she can drop the wine at the same time.


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BrylcreamBeret · 06/01/2019 21:18

If you get on with your inlaws usually I'd probably take it on the chin and remember this for the future. If you can't let it rest ask for an itemized bill or just be honest and tell her she's being tight.

M00nUnit · 06/01/2019 21:18

Just don't pay it. It's s ridiculous amount. The 5 bottles of wine you brought were more than enough.

RandomMess · 06/01/2019 21:18

Deduct the cost of the wine off the bill Wink

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