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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be thoroughly pissed off with dh being ill

93 replies

SitOnMyHouse · 06/01/2019 19:11

He has a slight fever and a sore throat. I have offered lemsip, ibuprofen and hot water bottles. All refused because ‘I need to be able to feel my symptoms in case I need to go to hospital and tell them what’s wrong’. He didn’t want dc’s and I to go out today in case his illness ‘spiked’ and he needed urgent help. He won’t go to bed as he works away during the week and wants to see his kids. We’ve been told to keep the noise down as noise makes him feel sick (not easy with a 6 and 3 year old who aren’t allowed outside). The TV makes him feel dizzy every time he looks at it so that’s not allowed either.

We’ve been together a decade and this is only the second time he’s ever been ill. I’d forgotten just how pathetic he is about it. Dc and I have all had similar symptoms this week and even my 3 year old coped so much better.

If he’d just buggered off to bed and let me get on with my day as usual I would thoroughly sympathetic (mostly). I’m now listening to him snorting away on the sofa and feeling slightly murderous.

OP posts:
Iloveacurry · 06/01/2019 19:13

You should of just gone out, he sounds pathetic.

Pachyderm1 · 06/01/2019 19:14

Oh god what a twat. Stop indulging this shite and just go about your day as you would have anyway.

wheneverythinggoestitsup · 06/01/2019 19:15

Why are you even listening to him? I'd have ignored and gone out

FlapAttack23 · 06/01/2019 19:17

Stop dancing around this wombat. Tekk him to go to bed or you'll take kids out.

would his work tolerate such demands? No. Nor should you. He can text if he needs you.

Userplusnumbers · 06/01/2019 19:19

Lol @ refusing paracetamol because he needs to 'feel his symptoms in case he needs to go to hospital'

What does he actually think is wrong OP? You must have the patience of a Saint - I'd have backed him off back upstairs and gone about my day as normal.

moanymoaner · 06/01/2019 19:20

If he feels like I do today I do actually feel for him however he can't be if he's refusing pain relief because I've been on top of it and I'm still suffering! He sounds like he's being a martyr! Ignore him until he starts taking pain relief

GobblersKnob · 06/01/2019 19:20

Awww it's his second time in 10 years, he's ill! Cut him some slack. Why shouldn't he want looking after? Dp and I always look after each other if ill.

PookieDo · 06/01/2019 19:21

Send him the link from NHS 111 website where it quite clearly tells you to take paracetamol or ibuprofen for a fever/cold and treat yourself!

Nanny0gg · 06/01/2019 19:23

Awww it's his second time in 10 years, he's ill! Cut him some slack. Why shouldn't he want looking after?

Because he's being an over-dramatic nightmare and he's inconveniencing the whole household when he doesn't need to.

Crunchymum · 06/01/2019 19:26

Did the last time he was ill result in him needing to go to hospital? If so I can kind of have a weeny bit of sympathy for him having some anxiety about needing to go to hospital again but as for the rest of it...... fuck that shit.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 06/01/2019 19:28

Is he overly dramatic in other areas OP?

Lymphy · 06/01/2019 19:29

I couldn’t cope with these shenanigans. If he goes to A&E I can assure him the first question asked will be “have you taken paracetamol” the second will be “well that’s ridiculous, why not?”. I’d leave him to it. Twit.

pinkunicorns18 · 06/01/2019 19:30

You have my sympathy

My husband is a complete dickhead when he's ill. He can have a minor cold but loses the ability to talk for a week, is so quiet you think he's pissed off . He struggles to walk properly and gets into pathetic twat crouching position which he swears help.

OMFG I hate him when he's like this. He's lucky I haven't killed him

PumpkinPie2016 · 06/01/2019 19:34

YANBU I can't be doing with people who, when they have minor illnesses (which is what he has!) insist on moaning endlessly to everyone and inconvenience others!

I would have taken the kids out to be honest.

For your sake, I hope he either feels better tomorrow or you can escape to work/school or just out of the house!

user1471453601 · 06/01/2019 19:38

A bit of a pathetic excuse for doing nothing to make himself feel better. One of the first questions a HCP would ask I "so what have you been doing for self care?". If the answer is " nothing" he's more likely to be told to go home, use paracetamol for a temp, lozenges for sore throat etc.

My GP practice has a list of hierarchy of care. Self care comes first, then pharmacy/111, then minor injury clinic (doesn't seem applicable in his cader), then GP. Then A&E, skip straight to A&E if chest pains or breathing difficulties occur.

I don't think this hierarchy should be strictly adhered to (floppy babies, or a rash that fails the glass test spring to mind), but id day that in the case of otherwise healthy adults, it's a good rule of thumb

Userplusnumbers · 06/01/2019 19:42

Why shouldn't he want looking after? Dp and I always look after each other if ill.

Do you actively refuse medication offered? Do you lie on the sofa demanding no one else can watch TV? Do you refuse to let young children go on an outing?

The OP isn't objecting to looking after her DH, it's the fct he's being such a wet Lettuce about it.

TheVoiceOfRaisin · 06/01/2019 19:45

And then on the other hand we have threads about posters being annoyed their husband didn't look after them when ill...

zenasfuck · 06/01/2019 19:45

I couldn't be doing with that, tell him to man up or fuck off out the way

I'm on my 4th course of antibiotics since October, spent Xmas day with a temperature of 39.5 and still hosted for 12

I've written a 2500 word uni assignment and been to work.
When you are a grown up you just have to get on with stuff

Original poster
SitOnMyHouse · 06/01/2019 19:46

No, he’s not over dramatic about anything else at all. And the fact it’s only the second time I’ve even seen him ill is also what’s preventing me from murdering him. I do need to cut him some slack but he is honestly acting like he’s about to drop dead or develop a life threatening condition any second. His last poorliness was a vomiting bug and I had to rig him up a rope, like in Bird Box, from bed to the toilet as it was too painful for him to open his eyes 🙄.

I just wish I’d ignored him and just taken the dc’s out today, they’re still bouncing off the walls as they haven’t been out today.

OP posts:
ThePinkOcelot · 06/01/2019 19:47

Frying pan to the back of his head!! What a soft shite!! I would have just left him to it and laughed in his face when he said he needs to feel his symptoms in case he needs to go to hospital! Pathetic!

Userplusnumbers · 06/01/2019 19:50

Also, just a thought - both times he's been ill he's not been able to see properly.

Is it possibly a migraine? It'd be unusual for a vomiting bug to be exacerbated by light, but not for light to induce vomiting in a migraine. Might also explain the noise aversion this time.

HollowTalk · 06/01/2019 19:51

Why would HE have to go to hospital when none of you did?!

Dramalady52 · 06/01/2019 19:53

Either he takes the meds or he gets no sympathy, I have no patience with people who moan about being ill but do nothing to help themselves. Sympathy is only forthcoming in my house if you've taken the painkillers 😉

zebra · 06/01/2019 19:53

Seriously! My mum used to tell me to stop moaning or she'd give me something to moan about...did a PP mention a frying pan??? 😜

Thankssomuch · 06/01/2019 19:54

He sounds absolutely pathetic.