To be terrified of dying

[Myheartbelongsto]

There is nothing I can do about this but I am petrified!

Anyone else feel the same?

Yes in fact I had nearly all of October thinking about it when I had a depressive breakdown. Honestly, I was googling life expectancy, transferring existence into computers or robots etc.

I was just as petrified of the idea of living forever though so no win win.

Just take comfort in you probably won't be aware so won't have those last few days/hours thinking about it.

Living your life always afraid is like living a half life. Enjoy things at the moment. Be proud of your achievements and you may feel your life has been full as it could've been.

Hugs to all who feel this way though. 💐 🤗

Oh and like many I've had the fear from young. I remember being 4/5 scared my parents were getting old and were going to die.

It's the staple of an intelligent, overthinking but oversensitive mind.

There’s a really great podcast by Sam Harris called Lessons from Death.

His opening monologue in particular is fantastic. I’d recommend listening so you can integrate the natural fear of death into an anxiety free life.

samharris.org/podcasts/the-lessons-of-death/

I have no dependents now. My biggest worry is not spending what I've got and leaving it to the vulture fund lol.

A good will sorts that out, which I have done. But better to spend it now and leave as little as possible for those circling around!

I have seen so many deathbeds now that I know these days that the actual process of dying is made as comfortable as possible. There should be no need for pain or distress ever. It can be sorted with good palliative care.

That is what I have decreed. DNR but send me off in a haze of heroin. (Morphine) and intravenous sedatives. Can't think of a nicer way to go out.

My partner is a widow. His wife died in a car accident. I took my step daughter to have her hair done today and she wasn’t very happy with it and asked me to ask to complain.

And I suddenly thought “Gosh, what would her mum gave thought that I allowed her to dye her hair (obviously her dad was ok with it) and it dame home to me that she only knew her mum for eight years and her brother only 12. Very sad.

Yes, although it’s got less as I’ve got older, strangely!! I had terrible anxiety about it in my 30s. I lost my Dad when I was 25, just after I’d had my daughter and it triggered all sorts of anxiety/depression.
I’m a lot better now, but I’ve since lost my mum and brother.
I won’t entertain dying anymore obviously it’s inevitable, we’re all in the same boat OP I get my health checks when I need to and basically keep my fingers crossed...it’s all we can do.

90% of the time it terrifies me.
10% of the time I can be calm about it.

I hate the idea of losing those close to me, but see death itself (my own) almost as a comfort. I have seen a fair few deaths in a professional capacity and am more worried about pain, discomfort and / or loss of control but not death itself.

If those who are suffering long term illnesses get the drugs they need to see them out without suffering, that is great, and it can and is done every day. There is no need for trauma in the dying process nowadays.

Unless you know of something that is the opposite.

Those who die suddenly will not need that obv.

I'm not scared of my own death. I think my religious beliefs have mentally prepared me. I'm hopeful about the adventure to come.

However, I am scared about feeling grief and missing someone who has gone before me.

I’m not scared of being dead. Sadly I was young when I started losing people I loved, so either there’s nothing after, or after will be filled with people I love and miss - so that bit is a win/win.

I’m a little scared of a painful death, but only in passing very very occasionally. It’s not something that I think about.

There are two things that concern me. One is people finding and reading my private journals and letters. I NEED to get them sorted into boxes with ‘Burn do not read’. My best friend will make sure that happens.

Practicalities are all taken care of.

The thing that worries me most of all is dying before my Mum. My mum has been through a lot in her life and my darling Dad dying suddenly has been so very hard on her. I know if I died before her she would fall apart and I would hate that for her. I was rushed into hospital and had emergency surgery last year and this was my only worry. Others would miss me I’m sure, but they’d cope. I’m not sure my Mum would.

But it’s only rarely I think about when triggered by my surgery or threads like this etc.

💐 for all of you with anxiety about it.

Oh wow, so many replies, thank you.

I will post properly tomorrow.

I'm not worried about the pain, I'm terrified of where we go after, I'm so worried about going to he'll, not particularly religious.

I had an abortion in my early 20's and I'm convinced I'm going to hell.

I sound ridiculous!