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AIBU?

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Original poster

I really hate my neighbour

72 replies

whatamidoingwithmylife · 05/01/2019 00:00

More of a grumble than anything but I really bloody hate her. I know I'm not being unreasonable to think that she should act like a grown up and consider other people's feelings and lives. She expects me to knock on her door at anywhere between 2 and 5am to tell her she's being too noisy/drunk/smashing up the house cos she's had a 'bad day'.

She knows I go to work about 5am every weekday yet is slamming doors so hard they shake my bed on the opposite side of the house from her front door at anywhere up to 2am regularly. How her kids sleep through it is beyond me. There's screaming and shouting at all hours, banging against my wall, kids screaming, dog barking/howling, music playing, police knocking on my door when neighbours have called them about her noise when she's screaming on the street during arguments with her ex partner.

Every Friday and Saturday night I dread as I know she'll keep me up til all hours as she 'lets her hair down' despite doing fuck all the whole week. If she worked I could understand her needing it. Somehow I think being in a dressing gown by 4pm getting pissed doesn't really constitute work or needing a break.

Her kids are awful because she's a terrible mother, screaming and swearing at them constantly. They've lived there less than a year and I'm at the end of my tether already. I feel like my only option is to move but why should I be pushed out of my own house after 13yrs here? I'm loath to keep reporting her to the council (hers is a council house) or the police because when I do sell up I will have to declare the issues I've had with her. I'm also worried I could get much worse (alcoholics lived there for a year before she did).

This isn't every day but sometimes can be several times a week. My anxiety has suffered badly since she's lived there and my OH hates her as he's usually the one that has to bang on her door and inform her it's 3am so she should shut the fuck up. He's stopped staying over as it interferes too much with his sleep (which he needs for his job with emergency services - someone could actually die because he's too knackered).

I pray for bad weather to keep them out of the garden drunkenly screaming and shouting until 2am every night. This past warm summer pushed me to my limit. She even has the cheek to complain I close my windows too loudly when she's shouting round the garden in the early hours.

Fingers crossed for a lottery win so I can afford to move away. Or have her bumped off Grin

OP posts:
CheekyNandosForMe · 05/01/2019 00:09

Been through this.
You need to speak to environmental health, and keep a record of any crime report numbers, every time you or anyone else has to call the police on her you need to use the same crime reference number.

Monty27 · 05/01/2019 00:11

Is it private or rented?

Birdsgottafly · 05/01/2019 00:14

Environmental Health and SS.

MaderiaCycle · 05/01/2019 00:15

I’d be calling someone about the kids. If this is how you feel imagine how they’re getting on....

Maelstrop · 05/01/2019 00:16

Report.
Call Environmental health
Call the council
Get the police out.

With luck, she'll be re-homed. It does happen with shitty people behaving like this. Don't tolerate any more shite, get reporting. The neighbour a couple of doors down did and the pita loud cow above him was bollocked,, calmed herself down and is now a model neighbour.

whatsthepointthen · 05/01/2019 00:16

I hate my neighbours aswell but not in a
position to move. I think its quite common for neighbours to dislike each other.

mumtomaxwell · 05/01/2019 00:16

Don’t put yourself through it OP.

I had a neighbour like that for about a year... she apologised a few times and assured me “we’re decent people” Confused I complained every single time to her landlord, and then to my absolute delight the awful neighbour moved away!

I still get really anxious about people playing music loud enough for me to hear, or they shout outside. I’m so paranoid I know who the letting agents are of each and every house around mine!! Awful neighbour left about 2.5 years ago... still haunts me what we went through.

Coldshoulders · 05/01/2019 00:18

How old are her children? I would ring social if they are under 16 don't give your name just say you are a concerned member of the public and mention her constant drinking and lifestyle or you could report her to the police and say you are concerned for the welfare of the children and they will come out to check the children are safe and well. It may sound harsh but why should you have to put up with it. A kick up the arse and a reality check she has responsiblities might be what she needs. She wouldnt know who it was because she's prob pissed off so many other neighbours and prob pissed to the point she doesn't know what's gone on. X

Aquamarine1029 · 05/01/2019 00:20

Report to every single agency you can. Call the police. Every day. I can't imagine what you're dealing with. I would go totally insane.

Jamiefraserskilt · 05/01/2019 00:23

When you sign a tenancy agreement with council/housing trust, there is usually a very clear clause 're behaviour.
As their tenant, it is clear she is breaking this clause regularly and therefore the tenancy department need to hear this and take action.
Make a list.
Record
Keep a diary tenant
Report to environmental health
Call them (landlords) every week with the list/evidence
Ask them what they are going to do about their tenant
They need to take action about her breach of tenancyi
If your neighbours do the same, they will have to.

Alternatively, dig a big hole

greenbean789 · 05/01/2019 00:41

Causing nuisance can get tenants evicted, there must be a clause in their tenancy contract, so contact the landlord.
Whatthepointthen, it is not that common to dislike neighbours. We like all our neighbours, but then we might just be lucky.

EmeraldShamrock · 05/01/2019 00:48

She sounds like a complete nightmare. You have my sympathy, some people need to be shipped out to an island. It would be full in no time with all the antisocial asshole's.

Original poster
whatamidoingwithmylife · 05/01/2019 07:22

I was keeping a diary but I've had some personal issues lately and it's fallen by the wayside.
I don't think she does it on purpose, she's just a selfish and naturally very loud person.

I enjoy silence and so does my OH so because we're very quiet people, she really gets on our tits with her extreme noise. She's not as bad as the previous tenant (who I had to report several time for drink driving and for using my street as a car sales forecourt - absolutely NOTHING was done and they moved because they fell out with a neighbour).

It irritates me that I work my arse off, travelling for hours to go to a job I hate and the taxes I pay benefit people like her who are too lazy to go out to work. She genuinely thinks she's a good parent though (she first got pregnant before she was a teen!!). Don't get me wrong, she's not rolling around drunk all day every day but she clearly has a problem - her mother was an alcoholic so compared to that she thinks she's fine.

The local council have changed their lettings policies I've been informed and they're now 2yr contracts which are reviewed at the end for behavioural issues. I did report her a few months ago and was given a number for the anti-social/environmental person in our area who never replies to any voicemails I leave or picks up the phone. I stated in that letter the issues over the kids and nothing was done.

OP posts:
PoliticalBiscuit · 05/01/2019 07:47

I'd move and pray there's no proof of your letter when you come to sell!

recklessruby · 05/01/2019 07:50

I would flip but I have issues with noise and can't take it.
This sounds like my friend s neighbour and now my friend is on anti depressants and sleeping pills.
Keep bothering the council
See your GP and flag up the health issues this is causing you.
Stop being nice and call police and social services (bet she's known to them).
If all that goes on at night I bet the school's worried about their attendance/ falling asleep in class/neglect so all agencies together should do something.
Unfortunately it all takes time.
Lastly who the hell has a baby at 12 and doesn't have heavy social services involvement? It's mad.
Maybe she'll drink herself to death.
My friend s neighbour is also pissed all the time and we can only hope.

Veterinari · 05/01/2019 07:50

Call social services - those poor kids!

pilates · 05/01/2019 07:53

I would be emailing the council regularly and keeping recordings as evidence. I am more concerned about her children, SS need to be involved.

SaturdayNext · 05/01/2019 07:57

Don't keep phoning the council, you need a paper trail. So, as people say, you need to keep emailing them and, if they don't reply, enter a formal complaint. Also contact social services, because there are obvious child protection issues here.

Fundays12 · 05/01/2019 07:58

You need to contact social services her kids are at risk.

NotToday1601 · 05/01/2019 08:07

Hi
As exasperating as I know it can be, start keeping diary logs again and speak to your local authority about installing noise monitoring equipment (some will say in order to get the equipment you need to complete diary sheets for 4 consecutive weeks).

Unfortunately for something to be done you'll need to keep reporting to the council. They may already be building a case against her (assuming if the children have a chaotic home life, there are likely to be issues with school etc) so your info could be the final piece of the puzzle if there’s safeguarding concerns. Eviction is always the last resort but they can put measures in place so that she is a better neighbour.

Good luck.

SnuggyBuggy · 05/01/2019 08:08

I would keep reporting her for being a noise nuisance and I'd also speak to social services as those kids can't be in a good way.

faithinthesound · 05/01/2019 08:19

I hate my neighbors too. All of them, except the lovely old gent across the way who never makes a peep and loves his garden. I despise all the other garbage piles that masquerade as humans living around me.

70sbaubles · 05/01/2019 08:23

If there is any chance of moving away, move.
As a council tenant she is in breach of her tenancy and you have much more chance of getting her evicted, or sanctioned, for such behaviour.
However it sounds like you are in a bit of a 'rough' area given the behaviour of previous tenants and your fears for the future. If there were any way out I'd move. x

Bringbackthestripes · 05/01/2019 08:23

. I stated in that letter the issues over the kids and nothing was done.

They won’t contact SS, you need to do that. I really do sympathise, we moved due to noisy neighbours and they were nothing compared to what you are dealing with. Do you ever record/video the disturbances? Just keep getting all the evidence you can and report endlessly.

Believeitornot · 05/01/2019 08:29

OP you need to report.

As for It irritates me that I work my arse off, travelling for hours to go to a job I hate and the taxes I pay benefit people like her who are too lazy to go out to work

She’s a selfish person full stop. Let’s not link it to benefit bashing please. Your actual taxes would be less than pennies towards this particular individual

My neighbors are loud selfish fuckers. They earn shit loads; employment status is not relevant

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