I really hate my neighbour

[whatamidoingwithmylife]

More of a grumble than anything but I really bloody hate her. I know I'm not being unreasonable to think that she should act like a grown up and consider other people's feelings and lives. She expects me to knock on her door at anywhere between 2 and 5am to tell her she's being too noisy/drunk/smashing up the house cos she's had a 'bad day'.

She knows I go to work about 5am every weekday yet is slamming doors so hard they shake my bed on the opposite side of the house from her front door at anywhere up to 2am regularly. How her kids sleep through it is beyond me. There's screaming and shouting at all hours, banging against my wall, kids screaming, dog barking/howling, music playing, police knocking on my door when neighbours have called them about her noise when she's screaming on the street during arguments with her ex partner.

Every Friday and Saturday night I dread as I know she'll keep me up til all hours as she 'lets her hair down' despite doing fuck all the whole week. If she worked I could understand her needing it. Somehow I think being in a dressing gown by 4pm getting pissed doesn't really constitute work or needing a break.

Her kids are awful because she's a terrible mother, screaming and swearing at them constantly. They've lived there less than a year and I'm at the end of my tether already. I feel like my only option is to move but why should I be pushed out of my own house after 13yrs here? I'm loath to keep reporting her to the council (hers is a council house) or the police because when I do sell up I will have to declare the issues I've had with her. I'm also worried I could get much worse (alcoholics lived there for a year before she did).

This isn't every day but sometimes can be several times a week. My anxiety has suffered badly since she's lived there and my OH hates her as he's usually the one that has to bang on her door and inform her it's 3am so she should shut the fuck up. He's stopped staying over as it interferes too much with his sleep (which he needs for his job with emergency services - someone could actually die because he's too knackered).

I pray for bad weather to keep them out of the garden drunkenly screaming and shouting until 2am every night. This past warm summer pushed me to my limit. She even has the cheek to complain I close my windows too loudly when she's shouting round the garden in the early hours.

Fingers crossed for a lottery win so I can afford to move away. Or have her bumped off

You lost me at the insinuation that teen mothers are bad parents.

You have 2 choices
Put your house on the market now.
Decide you are not moving for the foreseeable and put every effort into getting her moved.

I would report to social services. Those kids must be having an awful time

You will need to ring social services directly or the nspcc about the kids

Hmm. I tried to remain pc right on and left leaning but having had similar neighbours it’s gets difficult not to nod along with the daily mail commentary.

12 years ago we had similar neighbours none worked, bunch of able bodied adults given flat in central London which they proceeded to trash. Lots of drugs, gangsta rap, low level drug dealing, fights in street, out of control dogs. Oh and having kids. All on taxpayers money as us and all the other neighbors slogged off to work. We were going to move anyway this made that decision easier. Sympathy op.

Sounds like my neighbour OP! Doesn’t work (I’m not judging her on this btw) but sees fit to disturb those who do. I work long nights, she knows this as she is often stood having a glass of wine and a fag when I come home yet she allows her dogs to bark outside for hours from 6am every fricking morning. Loud music almost 24/7, teenagers having parties, DIY at all hours and on weekends, I could go on! OH and I call her Karen because she’s so like the character from Eastenders😂 The shouting is horrendous! I’d expect better behaviour from a group of teenagers than her and her kids. And every phone call has to be taken in the back garden on speakerphone! I know when her birthday is, her mum’s name, how many people she’s slept with🤮, even what STI’s she’s had. All from being stood in my kitchen. The soundproofing is okay as they said they can never hear us! Council have done nothing for us for the past 2 years and I’ve been half tempted to stop paying my tax until they do something about it. My work life is completely ruined and I can’t enjoy my property one bit! Hope you get it sorted OP it can be really hard

The environmental team isn’t the correct department to contact about the kids

sympathies. my neighbours aren't in her league but their dogs go in and out constantly never without a foundation reverberating slam
argh

It was like living next door to the Jeremy Kyle show. It turned dh and I from bleeding heart liberals into thinking national service should be brought back.

If she's a council tenant on a starter tenancy you really need to report her, keep a diary, follow their processes. They can't refuse to renew her tenancy just on your say so, they have to have evidence. Give them the evidence or else you will be stuck with her.

You are nuts if you don't report. If she did own her place, it would be much more difficult to get anything done - which is disgusting in itself, but that's another thread entirely.
A council tenant? report report report! Unless you are planning on selling in the next few months, it's not going to affect anything.

It must be hell, but you don't have to put up with it forever.

Why do you think you should be the ones to knock at her door in early hours?
You ring the police to do a welfare check on her, her DP and THE CHILDREN every single time you can hear serious out of control fighting and shouting going on. These are domestic abuse incidents. Even if you have to do it each night.

The police will do welfare checks & send an automatic notifications each time, to Children services of their attendance at a property with children in it if issues like this. It is domestic abuse and substance /alcohol misuse, those children will be scared in their beds listening and not getting much sleep either.

Then you contact Housing/and tell them about regular attendance of police for noise nuiisance and domestic abuse. (They'll be invited to Marac meetings with CSS and police and get full story then).

Also Put your complaints in writing to housing & environmental health, about their antisocial behaviour do a summary "3 to 4 times a week, they shout & argue, spill into the garden drunk and waking all the neighbours" for e.g. in past week it was X date at from 2am to 3:25am and she was shouting that he was a "f....g a#se', on Y date,. On Z date... Ask them for sound measuring/ recording equipment. Tape their arguments for police/CSD and Housing

Housing will have opened a case previous contact, it's for you to supply evidence and pursue it.

She'll soon feel the full force of scrutiny . Her behaviour is not only antisocial, it's damaging to her children. She also needs help. She might not recall anything if blackout drunk whilst doing these things. Please don't stand by saying nothing. Police are first call

Get heaps of Video evidence. Not one thing but lots. Show it to your local councillor. Not your Mp but district councillor. They will help if they are any good at all.

Tell your neighbour you are doing this unless they stop xyz. Be specific about what needs to stop. Also be reasonable - so find (one or two) things they do that you can live with.

Good luck. It really really is depressing.

I would call social services, sounds like a awful enviroment for kids.

Do complain to the councillor housing association,they usually do take things like this seriously, if you can get other neighbours to complain too that will help. I live in a council property (HA) on a road of 12 other houses and we haven’t had any problems, there was a family that used to be a bit noisy but now their dc’s have grown up and moved out it is all quiet again. It makes me feel sad as people like this give others a bad name, most council tenants are well behaved and quiet.

Just move.

I know you shouldn't have to etc but all the palaver of getting her moved will be far more stressful (and possibly futile) than just making the decision to move yourselves.

@cuppycakey main problem is that if I move I immediately have to find at least another £50k out of thin air to find a similar property in another area. I've looked for the last couple of years and there just isn't anything similar in the same price bracket.

I don't see why I should be run out of my own home after living here for so long. Incidentally my OH spoke today about the possibility of moving in with me - with the intention to move away together a couple of years down the line. So fingers crossed our joint income will help us move. It's likely he'll speed up that timeline once he has to listen to her every day (he lives in a posh area in a detached bungalow on a quiet estate - perfect except too far from my work to allow me to move in with him).

@OffToBedhampton the police never come until the next day which means she can be screaming her head off all night and no one can do anything about it.

I have previously written to the council and received zero help.

Either you live next door but one to me and we have the same NDN or there's two of us that unlucky OP! Pop round if it is you, I have

@fullforce oh wow it sounds like you have it much worse than I do.

I certainly recognise certain behaviours - the loudspeaker phone calls that I can hear from my kitchen. The diy at all hours is another trait she shares (the first night they moved in they started destroying a supporting wall at 1am to get a sofa in).

Incidentally my OH spoke today about the possibility of moving in with me - with the intention to move away together a couple of years down the line. So fingers crossed our joint income will help us move. It's likely he'll speed up that timeline once he has to listen to her every day (he lives in a posh area in a detached bungalow on a quiet estate - perfect except too far from my work to allow me to move in with him).

I would change job now and move in with him.

@MsTSwift yes it really does change your perspective doesn't it.
It makes you wonder why you work so hard for your money when others can't be arsed. Yet they're usually the ones complaining about foreigners taking jobs (that they have no intention of applying for).
Sadly I live in an area in the north where there seems to be a lot of layabouts and always has been.

My dad grew up in a council house so I'm not a snob about these things, but people need to be made to work. And yes, national service should be brought back.

@Holidayshopping - sadly not that easy as there's no jobs near that area. Even worse - his mother lives with him at weekends and during school holidays .

OP I don't know what you're going to do.
The thing with reporting is it usually comes back to the person reporting.
It is a terrible situation, especially if you have a violent crazy neighbour, who you know reporting will result in suspicion and escalate to abuse. Not saying your NDN is violent

@70sbaubles no it's not a rough area - at least not until these two sets of neighbours turned up.
It was full of old people when I moved in which was perfect for me - the council housing was also reserved for non-problem folks. But they can't do that anymore and now any scratter can move in and ruin people's lives.

Maybe I've been spoiled living in an area with very little crime and very little other issues other than being a bit out in the sticks. I'm a bit naive sometimes about what really goes on in people's lives these days.

If it is generally a nice area, it should be easier to unite and sort it out.