To think people are Cruel about big’ weddings?

[MrDarcyWillBeMine]

A few wedding threads have popped up this week. Awesome, as a 2019 bride I love a good wedding thread!

However, I’m shocked and bemused by the sheer disgust MANY people openly display towards big traditional weddings. I find them very rude and small minded!

No feelings spared - plain nasty comments and even name calling! Apparently anyone who pays more than £50 to nip down their local registry office is a total ‘MUG’ and terrible person? 🤔

These nasty opinions also seems to be one sided - no ‘big weddings’ reguarlh jump in to abuse smaller cheaper ones or make crass remarks- there are plenty of ‘I’d never spend £20k on a wedding- I’d rather lick a mouldy toilet seat’ commenters

But no (very few and usually only in retaliation to abuse)
‘I’d never have a tacky function room £1k wedding - I’d rather visit a public pool 🤢’

🤔 So I can only assume that either:
A- people having cheaper wedding are generally meaner
Or
B- the abuse of large weddings is actually driven by jealousy!

With our fail it sparks a big ‘race to the bottom competition’ between commenters trying to one up each other on ‘cheapeast possible wedding’ 😒 meanwhile I just sit here thinking ‘I like my castle wedding 😬’

EVERY TYPE OF WEDDING IS LOVELY!

AIBU to think that people need to just stop being trolls and making shitty negative comments?

• I do get that weddings need to be affordable but some people CAN afford to spend £10k+ on a wedding and that’s ok!

Kate...and many others on this thread. Big weddings are NOT always tacky!

Why can’t people just accept different preferences and not make mean, judgemental sweeping generalisations. Is it THAT hard to just let people live their own lives with their own choices...

Complains that people are making mean comments and sweeping generalisations and ends with making mean comments and sweeping generalisations. Brilliant

I agree, a big wedding can be great fun.

But you’re jealous if you don’t want one?

But they have to be ‘classic’?

Bizarre train of thought.

Platypus, how on Earth is what I said mean?

"I went to a big and expensive wedding in the countryside but couldn't afford to stay at the very expensive hotel, couldn't afford £30 for the cheapest bottle of wine (10 years ago) and it cost me about 100 quid in taxis and train fare and I was only an evening guest."

Surely you only go as an evening-only guest when the wedding is local. I would never travel just for the evening do.

Platypus, how on earth is what I said mean? It seems a fairly sensible, inoffensive suggestion to me to let people have their own choices. I genuinely don’t understand why some people need to be critical of someone’s choice.

It was in response to the op complaining about people saying big weddings are tacky yet then summises that those with small weddings are mean

Posted my first response too soon.

Ah, ok. My apologies!

OP, on page one, you said the “expensive weddings end in divorce” stuff was “UTTER NONSENSE.” I noticed you maybe didn’t see the comment from @OutwiththeOutCrowd, which is understandable with all these comments.

It’s not utter nonsense and a study has shown that now.

Study had 3000 respondents. Highest rate of divorce is weddings over £20,000, so that would include your wedding, according to you. Lowest rate of divorce is weddings under £1,000.
www.shape.com/blogs/sex-and-love/study-shows-engagement-ring-cost-linked-divorce
(Despite the title, it includes both engagement ring costs and cost of wedding. Just to save people the click: cheaper engagement rings lead to lower rate of divorce as well.)

You can choose argue that you will go against the trend, but you can’t just pretend that it doesn’t exist because you don’t like it. It’s not cruelty to say that more expensive weddings lead to higher rates of divorce, as long as you can include proof.

Every type of wedding is lovely but that's a bit of a Freudian slip about 'tacky £1k function room' isn't it?

WTF is ‘classic taste’?!

"today’s weddings have a lot of unnecessary/ expensive stuff such as magic mirrors/ photo booth/ donut stands etc "

Never seen any of these things.

WTF is ‘classic taste’?!
what do you think!

I think it’s bullshit, is what I think.

OP can you define classic taste? If they didn't have taste you approved of would you think it was a shit wedding?
You sound awful when you say you'd be embarrassed with small, cheap function room?
Is your partner also a massive snob?

I googled it, it comes up with Chinese food 🤷‍♀️

The jealous comments are ludicrous, incidentally. I have no need to be “jealous”of anyone far less people who
seem to think that big - and by definition brash - is the way to go.

people who seem to think that big - and by definition brash - is the way to go.

I think having a big showy wedding is the very opposite of snobbish.

RightYesButNo
to prove anything, the study needs more participants and take into account the finance of the couples! As someone posted earlier, some couple can spend £30k on a wedding because they saved for a year, whilst others will go into debts to finance a £10k wedding.

That study also states that things like a bigger wedding (i.e. inviting more people!), and splurging on a honeymoon trip are all linked to a lower risk of divorce.

so a cheaper but bigger wedding (how do you work that one out?) with an expensive honeymoon?

It is jealously, pure and simple.

I find it very small minded too. Why not accept that people want to spend whatever they want on their wedding.

Life gets a whole lot better when you stop caring about what other people think.

That divorce report also says that inviting lots of guests and a big honeymoon is linked to staying married.
So I guess all the “we eloped” people are doomed too then...

I have a rule that I only ever attend the weddings of people I really, really love. Friends from Uni I've not heard from in 17 years? Nope. Cousin's husband's brother's DD? Nope. Someone from work I once shared a cab home with? Nope.

It makes weddings so much better because you're genuinely only there to celebrate people you're mad about so the whole "how much did this cost" is moot because you're blinded by your friendship/love for them.

Also, we had a huge wedding in a castle years ago which, looking back, was obscenely expensive but also the best day ever, so I'll never regret it. We could have sent the money in a million other ways but we'd got our house, our cars and could afford it, so I'd hope nobody attending would have resented how we chose to celebrate.