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AIBU?

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Original poster

NYE party

53 replies

Housingcraze · 04/01/2019 21:52

DP hates a male friend of mine, he feels this guy let’s say Bob belittle him, saying bob will see me whenever he wants too, DP gave me ultimatum and I chose DP thinking it was silly, DP was jealous, and obviously insecure I was going to cheat on him with Bob!

This Bob is part of my closest friendship group, I couldn’t go to NYE party as DP was so stressed his OCD/anxiety was through roof, he couldn’t work he lost easily 75% of earnings - self employed!

Bob I knew through group - wasn’t closest but saw him in group events once every other month, but at start of relationship with DP, I saw bob more than DP and DP felt he was acting more my DP at the time!

I left DP house and went to see bob, i didn’t text and tell DP I was going home earlier as didn’t want to wait for DP to finish work! So DP freaked out and thought I did something stupid and then found out I was with bob, DP lost temper, DP was concerned for my MH, so was concerned with Bob I did drink A lot,
And I never felt Bob was coming on to me, DP always feel like if I with Bob I be cheating on him or laughing at DP!

Bob had backed off and he is civil anytime he seen DP.

NYE PARTY Bob was going to be there like my closet friend group!
DP - felt as it was NYE it was special didn’t want me anywhere near bob as it would ruin DP NY.
DP a taxi driver, so he would be working, but if I was at party, he be freaking out and wouldn’t earn much!

So WIBU to offer DP his NYE wage to spend NYE with DP?

Or WPBU to expect me not to hang out with bob due to DP paranoia of me cheating on DP with Bob

OP posts:
Biancadelriosback · 04/01/2019 22:04

I'm confused

Original poster
Housingcraze · 04/01/2019 22:06

Is DP controlling me by making me not see bob?

OP posts:
MsFrosty · 04/01/2019 22:08

I wouldnt be with anyone who didn't trust me not to cheat.
no trust-no relationship

dontlikebeards · 04/01/2019 22:09

Have you been drinking?

Topseyt · 04/01/2019 22:10

Very confusing. Sorry.

Original poster
Housingcraze · 04/01/2019 22:12

Drinking? Dyslexic yes

OP posts:
Caxx · 04/01/2019 22:17

??????

LuckyLou7 · 04/01/2019 22:17

Your DP sounds like he is incredibly insecure and jealous. Not good traits at all. And blaming you because he can't work because he's freaking out that you might be with another man? Pathetic. See who you want to see and tell him to sod off. If he doesn't trust you now, he never will.

sackrifice · 04/01/2019 22:28

Take a breath.

What is your actual question?

DaphneFanshaw · 04/01/2019 22:30

Ok, I wouldn’t be with anyone who didn’t trust me either. Unless there is a back story or history where you’ve given him reason not to trust you.
Either way, you’re an adult, he can’t stop you from seeing anyone.

MrsTerryPratcett · 04/01/2019 22:31

Did you actually offer to pay your DP's NYE wages because he is so jealous and paranoid about a male friend that he couldn't work?

Leave him. And then work on having relationships with much less drama and jealousy.

Biancadelriosback · 04/01/2019 22:36

Does the DP actually have diagnosed OCD or Anxiety?

IamFrauBlucher · 04/01/2019 22:38

Im sorry but is anyone else singing "Bob the belittler" to the tune of Bob the Builder?

Biancadelriosback · 04/01/2019 22:40

Well now I am!

DaphneFanshaw · 04/01/2019 22:41

Yes, me too. Damn you Blucher.

Original poster
Housingcraze · 04/01/2019 22:54

My DP - I paid his earnings on NYE to spend it with me!

DP said if I went to NYE party he wouldn’t sure if we be together in the morning!

OP posts:
Original poster
Housingcraze · 04/01/2019 22:57

DP has severe anxiety and wouldn’t go to psychiatric referral so we not sure! Has had CBT and did get better with bob situation!

DP said if it was any other night out he wouldn’t of been bothered it was because it was NYE

OP posts:
DaphneFanshaw · 04/01/2019 22:57

Oh op, he sounds like a right cunt.

DaphneFanshaw · 04/01/2019 22:58

Sorry, I mean because of you having to pay his wages, I posted in reply to your first post.

DaphneFanshaw · 04/01/2019 22:59

I have anxiety too, I know it’s not a walk in the park. He is bvu though.

MrsTerryPratcett · 04/01/2019 23:00

So you paid him to stay with you...

Seriously woman, open your eyes. Is Bob kind, respectful, good-looking? I'd go for him, he sounds nice.

Original poster
Housingcraze · 04/01/2019 23:00

DP has said he will be paying back the money but was thankful for it!
DP said if he worked properly through Dec - he wouldn’t of worked NYE anyway! DP had op start of Dec

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 04/01/2019 23:01

Why did you pay DP to be with you?

Tbh I’d dump DP and shag Bob

Original poster
Housingcraze · 04/01/2019 23:02

Bob not my type boyish spends money on cocaine and weed!
Admittedly I did drink more with him!

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 04/01/2019 23:04

Ditch him. Insecure controlling pain in the arse.

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