Did they get a night off

[Blueblueyellow]

I'm 32 my eldest sibling is 40,in all those 40 years my parents never had a night out. My OH can't belive this. We were poor and to me this is normal. Aibu or did your parents have a "night off".

I was born in the late eighties and my parents went out about once a month - normally to dinner or the theatre. I loved it because my babysitter made me chips for tea and I got to watch the Simpsons

My Dad was in the navy, so not home much. DM used to go to the NAAFI club every Saturday night, leaving me and DSis home alone from the ages of 7 and 6. She used to then tell us just how very drunk she was on he return.

She now judges me for having a drink at home with DP, with DD age 13 and DS age 12. Somehow, I don't think she is in a position to judge.

My parents went out most weeks. I was either with the au pair or a baby sitter from an agency. I don’t remember ever minding. They went away for weekends and I stayed with grand parents.

My parents usually went out Saturday nights, but my dad worked away Mon to Fri so they really needed a evening together. Me and Nan would prep all the veg and watch the wrestling on Saturday nights and she would sleep over.

Hmm, mine did (this was in the late 60s/early70s) - either a grandparent or the teenager from next door would mind me and my brother. It wasn't every night, but reasonably frequent. I think they went to parties/dinner parties, the theatre sometimes, a concert or two. When I was about 13 my dad took to local politics, which had quite a social side, but I was then regarded as old enough to be in charge of my kid brother...

My Dad used to go to the pub a bit when I was a toddler (I don’t remember this obviously!) and Mum went to a few evening classes when I was in my late teens. She took us to the cinema a few times but Dad never came with us. I remember going to McDonald’s once, as a family, but I don’t remember my parents ever going anywhere together in the evenings. It was only once I was an adult and ended up in a similar relationship that I questioned this situation, I’m surprised to see that so many people had similar parents.

Mine didn't but that's mainly because they don't actually like each other.
I do remember them going out once when I was about 3. I had the teenage daughter from next door babysit me, but my mum made sure I was in bed before they left and I was told not to bother the babysitter Or Else. So it was a bit dull for me.
I'm 48 now, left home at 18, and they still don't go out.

Goat = golf?

My parents went out occasionally. My wonderful grandmother used to come & stay overnight to babysit & we always had a great time with her.

When our DC were little we didn't go out much at all because we had no family close by, but occasionally we'd swap babysitting favours with a friend.

Mine went out a lot and had people to the house to play cards etc. Me and my sister loved this as if we had been good we were allowed to play a few hands.
Our grandma lived with us so she looked after us and taught us ballroom dancing, amongst other things.

Mind probably went out 'socially' as a couple about once or twice a year, certainly not on a regular basis

DM did a weekly evening class and DF played badminton one evening a week which was sometimes followed by an hour in the pub but not every week

They never went away overnight in all my childhood and I never stayed overnight at my grandparents

If your eldest sibling is 40 surely they are not still at home in need of looking after? So would assume you parents had a night out at some point after the youngest kid was in their teens?

Mine did. My auntie and uncle babysitting are some of my best memories, they were fun!

Min went out every Saturday evening. We stayed at my grandparents house. Tbh as we got to 8/9 I really wanted to stay at home on a Saturday night as its kind of your main weekend evening. We used to go at around 4 pm until Sunday morning or after Sunday lunch. I know parents need a rest too but thinking about this now I think it was quite selfish.

My parents used to go out together a couple of times a year, and went away overnight on two occasions while we were growing up. My dad did a lot of evening classes and later travelled a lot for work, and my mum worked evenings in November and December (to pay for Christmas, I guess). I don't remember my mum or dad ever going out with friends really, bar a short time when my dad was in the Round Table.

DH and I don't go out much together (maybe 10 or 12 times in the last 7 years including one night away) but tend to each go out 2 or 3 times a month seperately, plus I usually do an exercise class most weeks. I don't feel the need to go out more often as a couple; we enjoy playing Scrabble or watching films together, or sometimes have a Chinese takeaway once the DC are in bed. We wouldn't go on holiday without the DC as we have a finite budget for holidays so would spend it together, plus we are lucky to have relatively chilled out kids so really, really look forward to and enjoy our family holidays. I can understand that if relaxing on a beach or enjoying fine food and wine were your thing you'd need to do some child-free holidays - we were a bit sad and loved National Trusting, museums, walks and caravan holidays even before DC so don't really feel we miss out!

Not going out for 40 (or even 15/18) years is a bit extreme - and obviously a typo! - but I do think there were less places to go out socially in the evenings 30 years ago, especially if money was tight.

Goat club sounds much more fun than golf club though. Wondering what they would do and whether the goats would be invited along too.

This thread has really got me thinking! My parents never went out together all of the time I can remember, my dad worked shifts so was at work quite a bit and I only had one relative who I don’t remember ever staying with.
Tbh though me and oh hardly ever have a night off either, I don’t know anyone that would babysit and my parents never really offer to have them!

Maybe this should be a different thread but is there a way of encouraging parents (people really, they’re not a separate species!) to go out more? My Dad has been on his own since Mum died 4 years ago, and literally does nothing apart from gardening and going to the supermarket, after a lifetime of never going out. I’ve suggested all kinds of things but he doesn’t want to know, seems happy enough but he’s only mid 60s and I wish he had some friends.

Mine never went out together. When I was little dad had one night a week at the pub and mum went to cake icing classes. Later, when dad developed MS mum sometimes went to the church whist drive with her sister and dad’s friends came round to chat.

My DP took us all to family parties. No baby sitters.
My DM had her circle of friends who we had to call 'Aunty', sometimes we went to the Aunty house.
My older brothers would mind us girls when we were all older and mum went out to work.
We would slide down the stairs on metal tea trays, into a pile of pillows.

My parents hardly went out unless they were invited to a wedding or something big. My dad didn’t go to the pub, no works night out, no regular hobby. My parents had lots of friends who would visit regularly but they brought their kids. When my parents visited their friends they took us too. My grandparents lived very near us, visited us often but rarely looked after us.

We didn’t have spare money so my parents probably couldn’t afford to go for drinks in the pub or eat out.

Not my experience at all! My parents are part of a huge circle of friends (several overlapping circles, really) which socialised regularly. The older children tended to babysit the younger, so, for example, people would meet up at our house when I was very little; a few years later Mary and Fred would drop their teenager off to babysit me, and go on to Claude and Jenny's house with my parents; a few years after that my parents would drop me off at Claude and Jenny's to babysit their dc, while the four adults went on to the get-together someone else's house.

My parents didn't often go out but now and then they went to the theatre or a meal but never away over night.

Oh and to the dreaded Tupperware parties.

The first rule of goat club is.. you don’t talk about goat club

My parents went out most Saturdays, just down the social club for a few drinks. My grandparents babysat when we were young and we got coke and crisps on their return. :) and they wonder why I was a poor sleeper...