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Original poster

Do you make your Children write thank you cards

221 replies

CarolineCJ · 03/01/2019 21:32

I am just curious as to how many people ask their children to write thank you cards after they have received something say Christmas/Birthday,

OP posts:
treaclesoda · 04/01/2019 16:25

There's nothing at all strange in doing thank you cards if that it what the social norm is where you live.

But the implication that it is the only polite way of handling these things suggests that people/cultures who have different traditions are not polite. Like we're savages who need to be shown what true civilisation is Grin

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 04/01/2019 16:28

I used to when they were younger, now they ring aunties and uncles to say thanks. They always do thank though, one set of nieces and nephews always used to send notes but now they are older they don't, which annoys me, the other set, no acknowledgement at all which pisses me right off especially when I have put a lot of thought into the gift! not hard to at least send a text. next year it won't be a gift just cash which is a shame as the whole spirit for me is gone when we are just passing £25 around the country for each others kids :(

floribunda18 · 04/01/2019 16:30

The older generation like a proper card or letter.

Don't generalise. My DM is 80 this year, is not on social media but she has a smartphone and is more than happy to receive texts, calls or emails to say thank you. As is my aunty and uncle and PIL who are all in their 70s.

Topseyt · 04/01/2019 16:30

Why is anyone puzzled as to why thank you cards that have been sent might end up in the (hopefully recycling ) bin? Where on earth else are they supposed to go?

I don't keep cards for any length of time after they have been received. Birthday cards might stay up for a week or so after the birthday but are then put in the recycling. Same with other cards, and thank yous would be no different.

Surely we aren't supposed to just keep all of this trash? We'd all end up buried under an avalanche of it.

floribunda18 · 04/01/2019 16:31

And they also send texts to say thank you themselves. My mum did all hers on Christmas Day shortly after opening the gifts.

floribunda18 · 04/01/2019 16:32

just cash which is a shame as the whole spirit for me is gone when we are just passing £25 around the country for each others kids

The spirit is not lost on the kids, I'm sure. DCs love to get money and be able to choose their own thing.

Topseyt · 04/01/2019 16:35

As for saying that the older generation like a proper card or letter, not necessarily. Some do, some don't.

My parents are 85. No smartphones, computers or internet there, but they aren't bothered about receiving thank you cards or letters. They like a phone call (their landline) instead.

MaMisled · 04/01/2019 16:41

When DC were young, thank you cards and new pens were included in their Christmas stockings. Id keep a ludt as they unwrapped. We'd make a thing of sitting at the table at the start of Jan with hot chocolate and cake to write thankyous. In their 20s now, they still send handwritten thankyous! I stopped sending gifts for 4 nieces and their 9 DC this year as they never acknowledged gifts except for a thankyou via my siblings. So rude!

Yura · 04/01/2019 16:42

What do you do with thank you cards? Apart from putting them in the bin? Thanking the giver - of course. No discussion here. Buying a piece of paper that is destined straight for landfill - why?

Ragwort · 04/01/2019 18:31

I’ve got a lovely thank you card in front of me on the kitchen table from my Godson, it’s a nice picture and I will enjoy looking at it for a week or so & then probably recycle it.
You could say ‘what do you do with it’ about anything Confused, not everything needs a function in life. I have just thrown away some 40 year old love letters, I finally decided that I would be so embarrassed if anyone found them after I’d died & they were clearing out my things. (Not from my DH Grin).

SenecaFalls · 04/01/2019 22:13

The older generation like a proper card or letter.

I'm a member of the older generation, sitting here in Starbucks mumsnetting on my smartphone. Not all of us are Luddites. A text works just fine for many of us. I love those thanks emojis from the grandchildren.

EvansOvalPies · 04/01/2019 22:32

SenecaFalls I speak merely on behalf of myself (also a member of the older generation) and other people I know who are of similar age or older when I say that we personally like a 'Thank You' card or letter from people we don't live near to. If you are happy not to receive one, that is fine too.

Such thoughtful correspondence is appreciated by me (us) and kept for a while before being recycled, not put into landfill. Sometimes a pretty picture might be cut out and made into a new card for someone else. Which will be equally appreciated by that recipient.

I do not have a Smartphone, or an iPad or any other device aside from my desk PC. I like to send and receive a physical card or letter. The receipt of which does not preclude anyone from telephoning for a chat on any other day of the week. A text message (or similar) is not the same. In my opinion.

floribunda18 · 05/01/2019 06:37

It isn't for you but it might be for others, in which case texts are fine.

ILoveDolly · 05/01/2019 06:46

I find the process of letter writing useful. Firstly, it is good handwriting practice for the children, and needing to know how to format a letter is maybe not quite as important as it used to be, but composing a polite message is still a skill! Secondly, they will have to reflect on what was got for them and see how adults have thought about them. Children can be a little thoughtless about what they've got if not encouraged to give thanks for it from time to time.
Plus in my family, while not expected, it is appreciated.

MaryShelley1818 · 05/01/2019 07:22

We sent thank you cards for gifts when our baby was born, and will be sending thank you cards out for our wedding last month.
I’d thought about it for Christmas/Birthday gifts but decided against it as genuinely didn’t think it was the done thing anymore. I’ve sent Birthday presents to friends children and nephews/niece for about 15yrs (over 20 presents a year) and never received a thank you card.

We were married 1st weekend in December, DS’s 1st Birthday a week later, Christmas 2wks later. I don’t think people really want 3 sets of thank you cards off us in the space of 4wks and don’t have the time or money to do this.

AwkwardSquad · 05/01/2019 07:37

I would just like some acknowledgement, I’m perfectly happy with a text or a call. I’m not so happy with the complete lack of acknowledgement from some relatives, but I think their parents are having to pick their battles and I do have sympathy for them! And their parents generally say thank you.

I’ve been quite grumpy about it in the past, I have to admit, but seem to have become much more zen about it recently Grin

expatinspain · 05/01/2019 09:09

We say thank you at the time, or by message if the presents are opened later on.

I do find people strange who do things and have to receive some acknowledgement which to them shows the adequate amount of effort back on the part of the recipient. When I buy a gift, I do so without any expectation apart from the pleasure/happiness of the recipient. Obviously a quick thanks for x by message is good manners, but cards/letters are completely unnecessary and a waste of paper.

Slightlycoddled · 05/01/2019 09:40

Totally agree with IloveDolly! As she said, a thank you card or letter is not expected but really appreciated.

TheMincePiesAreMine · 05/01/2019 10:57

I don’t think people really want 3 sets of thank you cards off us in the space of 4wks and don’t have the time or money to do this.

My children's birthdays are close to Christmas, and we do let them send one for Christmas and birthday together. It would be ridiculous to make them do it all twice in 2 weeks.

badgerread · 05/01/2019 16:07

DS14 and DS9 do them yes..

PandaMa · 05/01/2019 20:41

We say thank you when we receive the gift, and if opened at a later date either phone or text a thank you for what we were given. I hate thank you cards, both giving and receiving. It just seems like needless faff if you've already verbally stated a thank you. And where does it end? A Thank You card for your lovely Thank You card?

Obviously I don't voice my irritation at Thank You cards at the time I am actually getting them from people, but try to drop it into conversation throughout the year so friends and family know they don't have to bother.

masterandmargarita · 05/01/2019 20:59

Panda ma - I agree- hate sending and receiving them

Flakeyface · 05/01/2019 22:32

Yes!

Noodledoodledoo · 05/01/2019 23:01

Most of the presents my children receive are from distant friends who we may not see, so as they are 4 and 2, I have used Touchnote to send a card.

My daughters party I typed up a letter, which had a space to write givers name, what they gave and for her to sign it, she wrote the givers name as well as she has just started to write.

I hate to say but have also stopped presents for some who never even acknowledged said presents arriving, let alone a thank you for sending them. I wouldn't have minded any communication.

I am all for joint cards - I used to try and persuade my sister this was a good plan but she liked writing the letters!

JennyFisher12 · 05/01/2019 23:04

No we say thank you

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