Do you make your Children write thank you cards

[CarolineCJ]

I am just curious as to how many people ask their children to write thank you cards after they have received something say Christmas/Birthday,

No, they thank the person when they are handed a gift. If that can't happen they call and say thank you.

Only to the three people they don't see who don't have a phone. And i write them as they can't yet.

They do do a message of 'tanks' over watsapp video.

The thanks is important, the media is not and personalised is always good.

The landfill argument is a cop out. If people felt that strongly then they’d never buy anything wrapped in cardboard or plastic EVER, especially from Amazon

For me im pretty glad we (family/friends) don't do cards to many people. I had a lot to buy for this year, thats a lot of cards to receive and recycle, i find Christmas cards can be wasteful too though nice to receive although the worst are easter cards-pointlesss.

I felt guilty throwing away my nephews as he'd taken a care to write in it but I'm not going to keep it forever.

My DCs can't write but one can write his name and Thanc Yoo. So he did a picture and wrote that and I'm photocopying it. It was his birthday too so he's combining letters.
I hope they can read that part!

Absolutely. Times haven’t moved on from reasonable manners. I clearly don’t make them write now as they are in their twenties but they do it anyway after years of being required to. It’s just due consideration and grandmothers love little cards from grandchildren usually. How much effort does it take?

I am gobsmacked at people who’ve never sent or received a thankyou card.

Why?

All my relatives were overseas as a child so we used to ring them and I'd speak to them all in person. They much preferred speaking to me on the phone than receiving a generic thank you card on the doormat a few months later.

As a child I never sent or received them either. My friends would say thank you when I gave them the present and that was fine - why do you need another thank you afterwards?

If someone gave me something and I didn't see them in person, I would ring to say thank you. No need to waste time and paper on a card.

Always. I would feel really rude just sending a text.

Do people keep or recycle their thank you cards? I always felt guilty to throw though my parents are hoarders so that may be why. Come to think of it that's probably why I'm not a fan of cards.

All the people saying they don’t force their kids to do them, don’t you write thank you cards for your own presents? I always do and always have done. My two best friends always do, too, so i’m not alone.

Earrings, I love the idea of saying thank you for other things with a note. My new year’s resolution is to write more actual letters so I might steal that idea.

I tend to snap a few pictures of the children opening that present and then when they play with and send them to the person just saying thank you and that they're really enjoying it x

No. Just a thank you phone call.

We all sit and write Christmas cards together, putting our name individually on every card: so we've all signed our name 30 times already, so I think that's enough!

Mine can't write yet so i write theirs to the three givers i know who dont have phones, and we either open gifts when with the giver and thank them or watsapp video.

I don't write letters no. Nor do i receive them. I receive text or call. Occasionally a video message from kids which is really sweet.

Times haven’t moved on from reasonable manners

But there is no one rule of manners. Manners relate entirely to what you are told are good manners, what is traditional in your family/geographical area etc. It's like the eternal shoes on/shoes off debate on mumsnet. People often insist that it's basic manners to take your shoes off in someone else's house. But other people are raised believing that it's very poor manners to take your shoes off in someone else's house, so who decides which is correct?

Most of our gifts are exchanged in person (as they were in my childhood) so when someone has been thanked in person a card or letter is a waste of time and resources.

If we don't see a person then they are thanked by phonecall or message.

It is thanking that important, not the media of it.

DS1 hates handwriting and finds it difficult and laborious with a largely illegible outcome anyway, so I'm not going to put him through the misery of writing unnecessary cards because that was the availiable medium decades ago. His Great Grandparents have functional landlines that do the job perfectly efficiently.

My wedding thank yous were posted within 4 days of the wedding, and written before we checked out of the hotel. It was a tedious production line job, and didn't feel personal to write although the pre-made hand made cards, (envelopes written out in advance too) would have given the illusion that it was personal for the reciever.

I'd rather have a phone call or text than a card written under duress.

don’t you write thank you cards for your own presents? I always do and always have done

No. I say thank you in person. I don't see any need to waste paper in order to thank someone a second time several weeks later!

Times haven’t moved on from reasonable manners

Why is writing a thank you card more polite than saying it in person, or calling the person and saying it over the phone?

A thank you note is infinitely more polite as it’s taken thought, time effort and shows genuine appreciation. It teaches the recipients to be considerate and mindful of the giver.

Yes. I think it’s a good discipline in this era of immediacy to take a minute to write a long hand thank you. Just a line or two. When my kids were younger I would write some of it for them for ease.

My kids love doing them, they do drawings and make it fun, they love writing the addresses and putting on a stamp (both usually in the wrong place). It says so much more than a video. Especially to older relatives.

Yes, always make DC send thank-you cards.

My SIL has 3 DC and they live in another country. Years ago she made a massive deal about how we have to make sure to send her DC nice gifts, which I dutifully did - 1 for each of their birthdays, and again at Christmas - so 6 gifts a year. Not once did we ever get so much as an acknowledgemet that the gifts had even arrived, let alone whether the DC liked them. After several years of no recognition of the gifts I simply stopped sending them as the rudeness of it became too much. And to be clear - any gifts they sent my DC always had a 'thank-you' sent back.

A thank you note is infinitely more polite as it’s taken thought, time effort and shows genuine appreciation. It teaches the recipients to be considerate and mindful of the giver.

In your opinion maybe. I consider them to be waste of paper and time - I've already been told thank you, I don't need to receive a card to prove that the recipient appreciates my gift!

Agreeing with opinion rather than facts. The only definite consensus appears to be that a thank you is necessary, whatever the form, and to not give one at all (I'm looking at you cousin) is rude.

A thank you note is infinitely more polite as it’s taken thought, time effort and shows genuine appreciation. It teaches the recipients to be considerate and mindful of the giver.

I'm not sure how a hand written note, possibly forced out of a child by bribery, shows any more "genuine appreciation" than a thank-you over the phone.

Everyone agrees a thankyou for gifts is polite and necessary the actual written bit is a bit OTT.

Where does it stop, do you write to GC to thank them for gifts given to you ?

My DC write thank you cards at birthday and Christmas for any gift they get from people they can't thank in person (not many because most family live very close). This Christmas they had to write 5 thank you cards each, which took them about 20 minutes out of their 2-week holidays. My aunt and uncle (recipients of one of the cards) who have about 10 great-nieces and nephews in total (all of whom receive Christmas presents) will not continue buying gifts for these children if they are not thanked - quite rightly in my opinion!

Nope.
I think it's pointless. If I ever get then I glance then throw in the bin. Most are given in person and I say thank you then. We get one present from a distant relative and we call to say thank you. They then get a lovely 10 min call.
I think it's quite pretentious to be honest. Surely you give something because you want to? I also think it's strange when people put thank you cards up. IME those who send thank you cards often send the stupid round Robin letters....those also go in the bin!