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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about not allowing outside food in restaurant?

312 replies

Gnomesrule · 03/01/2019 17:54

I own a restaurant with play area. We do not allow people to bring their own food. Many reasons including allergies, food poisoning etc and also there is a restaurant so we cater for all food requirements. We do have parties and allow people to bring birthday cakes only, but they are cut and wrapped by us and not eaten on the premises.

We have more and more people bringing their own food especially for unofficial parties etc. Many even leave the wrappers for us to clear, plus mash it into the carpets etc. We recently even had a parent cracking peanuts who was shocked when we told them that it wasn’t allowed (we don’t sell food containing nuts).

Would you find it an unreasonable request to be asked not to eat outside food in a place that has a restaurant?

Also if you held an unofficial party would you find it unreasonable to be charged to have your cake cut and wrapped for you?

OP posts:
Drogosnextwife · 04/01/2019 12:22

Well carpet and flooring as I do run my own business from home. Not sure why that's relevant to your business.

There are 2 softplay I use regularly, they have tiled floors, probably a better idea if you are going to bitch and moan about very young children dropping food on to the floors in a place that serves food.

planespotting · 04/01/2019 12:23

But why do children have to constantly snack? People can go a couple of hours without eating. If you'd just had a meal, then he doesn't need more food. You could have actually interacted him whilst waiting to pay, rather than just shoving food into his mouth.

Blush

I didn't say that what I did was right, I was honest and said I gave him a piece of tangerine whilst waiting for the bill.
You could have actually interacted him whilst waiting to pay, rather than just shoving food into his mouth.
Where are you getting that I don't interact with my child or that I was shoving food? He asked for a tangerine and there was a long wait for the bill as they were busy.
Do you have children that at 2 yo can sit for a bill for 10 minutes and that can understand that the tangerine in mum's bag is for later?
Where are you reading that I did not interact? I am with my DC at all times, we have nobody else so I think I know him well enough to know at that point no amount of interaction will prevent the drama.

If I was wrong then simply say sorry, just don't eat out, fine.

But to plain judge me and imply that I don't interact with my child and that I shove food in his mouth is ridiculous and nasty
*

Original poster
Gnomesrule · 04/01/2019 12:24

@Drogosnextwife the attitude you sense is from frustration. Go back and read

OP posts:
planespotting · 04/01/2019 12:26

I came to this thread to give the OP my 2 pence worth and I was polite throughout.
People like this poster really make me want to stop interacting with anyone.

Original poster
Gnomesrule · 04/01/2019 12:27

@planespotting I didn’t write that just for the record

OP posts:
planespotting · 04/01/2019 12:31

OP I know! Not you at all. And I was just admitting I gave my child a tangerine the other day. It was NY day, it was so busy and we were waiting to pay, I did it without mess and I left a generous tip because we love that place and they were working so hard.
It is really hard sometimes to wait and I am so good at interacting with him that I felt absolutely judged. Had I been told off I would have apologised profusely but I admitted to it.

Why are some people so nasty? It is unnecessary.

There is a soft play cafe locally and I always go, they are lovely and I like supporting local businesses for what is worth, your place sounds lovely and you set the rules

Stupid judging comments bringing perfectly good mums down Sad

planespotting · 04/01/2019 12:32

I mean that poster judged me. Nobody in the pub did, we go often and it was a special day so the wait was so long

BitOutOfPractice · 04/01/2019 12:35

OP when you run a business it's amazing how many people want something for nothing isn't it? Amazing.

You sound entirely sensible and ANBU at all

starfishmummy · 04/01/2019 12:36

I was a member of a now defunct book group that met in a coffee shop. The organiser had checked that we were welcome - we were, and would buy drinks and cakes/snacks. Then we had a small group of new people join who clearly confused the coffee shop with a community centre. To start with they'd just sit all afternoon without buying anything and then

Drogosnextwife · 04/01/2019 12:38

Of people are bringing in their own cakes for parties they have not booked with you, give them a knife (not a sharp knife) to cut themselves and say sorry we don't provide napkins unless we are organising the party. Easy as that. Don't stop people bringing in their own. Some people can't afford to boom a party in a softplay bit just want their child to have the same kind of party as everyone else.

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 04/01/2019 12:39

Cutting up a cake and wrapping it is a complete ball-ache, (worst job at a kid's party) so no, you wouldn't be unreasonable to charge for it.

PeapodBurgundy · 04/01/2019 12:40

The only time I've taken outside food into a venue selling food is one particular soft play centre. We attend Lingotot there, and stay for half price soft play afterwards. On account of how long we're there for, we always eat lunch there, but there's nothing vegan on the menu (I'm veggie but feeding a CMPA baby at the moment so pretty much eating a vegan diet). I asked if they would be willing to add something vegan to the menu, and was told no, so I take my own lunch. I still buy drinks for both of us and a meal for DS though.

abacucat · 04/01/2019 12:44

Some people can't afford to boom a party in a softplay bit just want their child to have the same kind of party as everyone else.
How is that the venue's issue to solve? I can't afford lots of things, I don't expect businesses to solve that issue for me.

JillScarlet · 04/01/2019 12:44

“ don't think it's right to charge to cut a cake”

Most BYOB restaurants charge corkage.

OP (and other posters) you have to make your business plan work. It’s outrageous that people want to use your restaurant as a venue or picnic area and not realise that overheads in cafes and restaurants are covered by Mark up on the food and drink.

If they want to provide their own stuff, they can hire the village hall.

A brought-in cake eaten on the premises replaces desert, part of the paid for meal.

ClarabellaCTL · 04/01/2019 12:47

It is very rude to bring outside food into a restaurant, I wouldn't dream of doing that. I think for babies it is different, I don't really see a problem with that but for anyone who will eat a normal meal then it's not on.

Birthday cakes are different, we recently had my son's birthday party in a restaurant and they were very happy for us to bring our own cake. They cut it up and served it no problem at all.

maddening · 04/01/2019 12:47

Cutting and wrapping cakes takes staff time and wrapping materials - yanbu

Drogosnextwife · 04/01/2019 12:49

They are still paying entry fee, and I would imagine buying coffees and juice, a bloody birthday cake is hardly going to make much difference. The people have still paid rather a lot of children in, which wouldn't necessarily be there otherwise so OP is still making money off them.

Tabbytwitchet · 04/01/2019 12:50

But clearly you do need some advice or you wouldnt be posting? It really sounds like you are in the wrong type of business if you can't handle cleaning up after children... And I'm not being funny, but do any restaurants or softplays have carpet these days? That's a recipe for disaster. I won't even have carpet in my living room with 2 children who rarely take food in there. Having a carpetted area specifically designed for children to be eating and playing in is just asking for trouble. Surely you need to just rip the carpet out and put down some sort of hardwearing lino that can be properly cleaned with germ killing solutions effectively at the end of each day. The bacteria that's probably growing in the carpet is enough to put people off wanting to order food. Everyone knows softplays are germ breeding grounds. I can't actually believe you have so little regard to how your customers might perceive this, you said you're a mum yourself, so surely you understand?! Do you feel equally annoyed at the customers who come in just to play and have no intention of even looking at your menu? Or just the ones who come in to play and then sing happy birthday to their children? You aren't a nightclub so that is a crap anology. People go in nightclubs TO dance and drink... People go to softplay to use the softplay not to eat, the food you offer might appeal to some and not to others. People aren't visiting you for your food, you need to realise that. If you're that offended by what people are doing, why not ditch the softplay and open as solely a restaurant? Let me guess, because the softplay generates the majority of your income, the restaurant is just an addition to that, and if you were solely a restaurant you wouldn't gain enough custom. So stop moaning about those who want to pay to use your softplay and not eat in the restaurant. Look at your pricing structure and adjust it accordingly so you aren't relying on food sales to keep you afloat. Add some extras that make the softplay more appealing and justify you prices (sensory room, ball/air tubes) appeal to a wide range of ages, and offer something the others don't have. Hire out sections during quiet periods for franchises to use (music with mummy etc) with free play afterwards, those mum's will be gagging for a coffee after an hour of that torture.

Drogosnextwife · 04/01/2019 12:51

I have never heard of any restaurant charging for cutting a birthday cake. Infact the usually take it away and bring it out, with candles lit to the table.

starfishmummy · 04/01/2019 13:00

Oops started taking their own stuff in. Needless to say the coffee shop owner had words and suddenly they wanted us all to relocate. The "originals" refused so they left in a huff. Not missed!!

Original poster
Gnomesrule · 04/01/2019 13:01

@Tabbytwitchet I came here for opinions on how to go about dealing with people bringing in food and you certainly have given yours. I can only hope that one day I have it all as perfectly figured out as you do. You must have the perfect life, perfect kids perfect business. You are the dream!

OP posts:
HaudYerWheestHen · 04/01/2019 13:15

I can't believe there are so many people justifying that they should bring their own food because they don't like what softplays serve, don't want to pay the soft play prices or, the cheekiest and most ridiculous of all, can't afford to pay for a proper soft play party but think their child is entitled to a soft play party like their friends. Well I think it's unfair that I can't have a Jaguar car so I should be able to go drive one from the Jaguar forecourt.

No one is forcing you to go to soft play. No one is forcing you to buy the food from there either, you have two options. Pay to play and let your child have a whole hour or two where they're not eating or buy the snacks from there. My three children managed to not have a constant supply of snacks growing up and I don't think they're hard done by.

MiniMum97 · 04/01/2019 13:26

@SilverBirchTree I can't really see what the difference is between eating beforehand and ordering a drink or eating my own food there and ordering a drink. If a venue can cater to my dietary requirements then that's fine. After I've sent a 4 page (A4 sheet) list of dietary issue cans and cannots then restaurants are usually happy for me to provide whatever I can myself.

Drogosnextwife · 04/01/2019 13:29

I think it's unfair that I can't have a Jaguar car so I should be able to go drive one from the Jaguar forecourt.

Actually if you wanted to you could, that's what you call a test drive 😂.

Children shouldn't have a birthday party in a softplay (That would make the OP money on the entry fee anyway) because she is being precious about a cake being brought in from outside. Have a think about that, if it was your child and you just wanted them to have a nice day. Not cheeky at all, restaurants do it for people and they don't charge an entry fee, what makes OPs restaurant any different?

Rosehips · 04/01/2019 13:36

Maybe a cheap party package would be the way to go, so no minimum numbers maybe just kid entry a jug of squash and cake cutting, throw in a free biscuit for the birthday kid. Then have a rule that the only outside food allowed is cakes brought in as one of the party packages (and not eaten there)