AIBU about not allowing outside food in restaurant?

[Gnomesrule]

I own a restaurant with play area. We do not allow people to bring their own food. Many reasons including allergies, food poisoning etc and also there is a restaurant so we cater for all food requirements. We do have parties and allow people to bring birthday cakes only, but they are cut and wrapped by us and not eaten on the premises.

We have more and more people bringing their own food especially for unofficial parties etc. Many even leave the wrappers for us to clear, plus mash it into the carpets etc. We recently even had a parent cracking peanuts who was shocked when we told them that it wasn’t allowed (we don’t sell food containing nuts).

Would you find it an unreasonable request to be asked not to eat outside food in a place that has a restaurant?

Also if you held an unofficial party would you find it unreasonable to be charged to have your cake cut and wrapped for you?

The difference in restaurants is that people are paying for meals plus drinks.

Also IME restaurants bring the cake out after desserts.

I'm shocked that so many people think it's ok to take their own food into a venue that serves food. Aside from allergy issues of course.

If you want to go to the soft play but not eat in the restaurant then you have lunch at home before going. You don't take your own pack ups in. I thought this was just bog standard!

I think you're perfectly justified to enforce it OP.

I think most of us are only saying birthday cake.

No food brought in - signs and continually checking and asking for it to be removed, etc. Maybe install cameras as people may think you're checking more carefully, and warnings if being evicted from the premises.

Re cakes. This is fairly normally in many places for both official and unofficial parties. Meal out, cake is brought out with cables. In most places you can just eat it there and then though in my experience. I've never had a charge for it.

Even at soft play I wouldn't have shown up with my own snacks. You go to a public play park if you want that.

I think you have to get tough and say no and be really consistent.

People can be very rude and take advantage.

I could possibly consider it for a child with a proper allergy or a disability meaning a child can't eat the available food, but not just because ones who are a bit fussy, or for an adult choosing to be on a certain diet.

It has been years since I had children young enough to go to soft play but even then there was a zero tolerance to bring in any food or drink, even baby food or bottled water as the cafe sold both items.
You still had parents who tried bringing in sippy cups and Tupperware with fruit and little sandwiches in. They were always politely told to put it away or leave as the management didn’t want food and sticky drinks smeared on the play equipment and the only place to eat was the cafe with food purchased from the cafe.
Seemed reasonable to me as they were running a business not a charity.

Some people can't afford to boom a party in a softplay bit just want their child to have the same kind of party as everyone else.

Still go to the soft play.
Still have a party bag with a cupcake, bun or piece of cake in it. Hand them out as your children's friends leave.
Still have the others sing Happy Birthday - you don't need a lit candle to still sing and you don't have to have a cake out to do so either. Many people don't through choice.

The party child still gets a fun time with their friends.

But you can't expect to go to a business and turn up with your own food and be allowed to eat it there. You need a totally different type of venue for that - playground, park, etc.

Bringing a cake to a birthday party, official or otherwise is fine, most restaurants will even bring it out with lit candles etc so charging for cutting it is a bit rich, especially as most of those eating the cake will have eaten a meal paid to you beforehand! As for bringing food in, the no nuts etc is a given and as a pp has said, baby food is fine but anything more than that you're right to refuse

I would actually put the responsibility for cutting the homemade cakes onto the parents and say it can only be given out as they leave the place. You could offer a deluxe version where for an extra £X they can select one of your cakes which can be cut and eaten at the table. I like to do my own cake because then I can have a gluten free cake which isn't also dairy free as dairy isn't a problem but gluten is. People not having an official party are c.f. and should sneak a party bag to the guests with a cake once they have left!

I think it depends. Went out with a 1 and 3 year old at lunchtime. 3 year old ordered from the kids menu. I had to take some broccoli and cheese muffins for the 1 year old. Despite my daily attempts she will NOT eat any normal food yet, if I gave her bits of our food she would just chuck it all over the place. Only just 1 so too young to understand or discipline. So if any outside food was banned, we couldn't actually eat there as a family. I think for older kids though it's fair enough.

Aragog everywhere I've ever taken my DC for their birthdays has allowed it.

DS had multiple allergies/ intolerances as a toddler. Fortunately the childrens menu staple of fish fingers and chips was usually safe, and I did usually buy him a meal where it was safe to do so. But there was always a back up toddler ready meal and tub of ginger nuts in the changing bag so he had access to safe food.

From weaning to some point between 12-18m people do tend to bring snacks food for babies/ toddlers because the need for small portions and particular likes are seldom met on a menu, particularly at a sensible price. With the needs of multiple young children, it's often not easy to avoid being out at times when young children need to eat. Some people are cheeky fuckers and seem to produce a never ending buffet which is wrong.

For the casual parties is it worth doing a casual party package with a few extras such as jug of juice, snack, cake cutting, and then banning any other cakes coming in.

It is hard to find the balance between protecting your business but not being too strict and driving customers away.

Baby food or perhaps a small child friendly snack for a toddler fine but outside food for older children and adults you would be totally reasonable to ban it. I would also say no birthday cake except for official parties isn’t unreasonable if there are fire restrictions etc. If I was booking a party somewhere though I don’t think I’d like to pay extra for staff cutting the cake etc I’d prefer that to have been included in the price. Unofficial parties unless they’ve ask for prior permission and you’ve explained the situation and agreed to it I think it’s cheeky. A staff member taking a few minutes to deal with candles on a cake for a group of people who have just all paid for food at the restaurant is one thing but those who have only perhaps had a coffee or two and brought their own party things no it’s just plain cheeky.

I hate soft play for many reasons but one is the overpriced food. Already paid to get in which is never cheap and am then expected to pay for food and drink. I have taken the DC’s water bottles along before and a flask of coffee for myself. Call me a tight arse but I’m not paying almost £20 entrance then buying drinks and snacks on top. I take snacks for the car afterwards 🤷🏻‍♀️. I’m not poor, I just hate being ripped off. If you have an entrance fee for the play area then I don’t blame people taking small snacks along rather than forking out for restaurant prices on top of it.

If it’s just a restaurant with free play area then YANBU although I’d let baby food slide.

Leave the cake alone! You expect to be able to bring a birthday cake along. Don’t be heartless?!

I'm not generally that keen on places that charge for an activity and then don't allow outside food and drink because the prices are frequently way higher than at places without the activity and the food is rarely to my liking. But my not being keen on it doesn't mean it isn't a legitimate business model.

Given your emphasis on being allergy free I don't think your rules are at all unreasonable, even the cake wrapping to take away. I think that's probably what you need to emphasize - "Due to our effort to be a safe space for those with allergies, NO outside food is allowed on the premises unless cleared with the management 48 hours in advance." Then people can always ask and you can make arrangements, including payment, for cake cutting for unofficial parties and make clear that the food cannot be eaten on the premises.

But the main thing you have to do is be consistent and persistent in politely asking people to put food away when they get it out and pre-empting people who you think are intending consuming their own food - especially unofficial party cake, which would be embarrassing and somewhat awkward to have to put away after all the kids have gathered for it. Some people do it anyway, they have a lot to gain and little to lose by not following your rules, but lots of people wouldn't dream of trying it on until they've seen several people blatantly do the same thing and get away with it. Stopping it when it happens is important to stop it becoming customary.

PMSL at all the posters telling OP how to run her business

Babies imho are different and baby food etc are different or baby snacks etc.
However other kids/adults are different unless they've got allergies (i work as a receptionist which has a cafe as part of it and habe brought bread in 4 them to cook as a sarnie for example but still paid them 4 it).

For everyone with allergies/not able to afford/not liking food - just eat a meal at home before you go instead of excuse of being CF.
That’s what I do with the kids when going for example bowling when money is tight.
I won’t believe that adult or older child is not able to survive 2-3hours without food.
My answer to everyone saying .. but... but we didn’t get chance to eat before - than don’t go and next time PLAN

jesse no, I'm talking about bringing out the cake, with permission from the place, after buying 4 adult main courses and 1 kid's main course and 5 soft drinks. Last time we spent about £70. They were quite happy and gave DD a free slice of their birthday pie. If they'd said no, we'd have taken the cake home and done it there.

Ps 2 "helpful suggestions" i can thjnk of if you've not done already are (signs saying that):
No food /drink to be consumed on premises that hasn't been purchased on site please due to allergies (in particular peanuts....).
Do a cheap deal for kids or adults like 1.50 for squash/can of coke and a biscuit ....

can't really see what the difference is between eating beforehand and ordering a drink or eating my own food there and ordering a drink.

Really?

No food /drink to be consumed on premises that hasn't been purchased on site please due to allergies (in particular peanuts....).

Don’t think you even need to give allergies as a reason. The first part of the notice is standard (ish) and unremarkable