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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what the strangest thing is that you've seen in a family home/life...

888 replies

purpleworms · 03/01/2019 12:06

...that to them was completely normal?

I have just seen someone asked this on an AMA on their Instagram. Their reply was walking around fully naked in front of parents/siblings/any family members.

While this is obviously okay for some, if it happened in a home I was visiting I'd be Shock but that's just because it's not the norm in my family.

I'm racking my brains but I don't think I've ever noticed anything! But people have such different ways/customs within their home lives and routines. We all regard our own as normal without ever really knowing if what's normal to us is strange to others!

OP posts:
PennyArcade · 07/01/2019 13:30

Penny, what the actual fuck?! A bath in the kitchen? I have NEVER heard of that before

Nor me, or since lol.
I couldn't wait to get out of there before the old man dropped his kecks to get in the bath too Shock

BarbaraofSevillle · 07/01/2019 13:37

Were you 15 in the 19th or early 20th Century in northern England (or possibly elsewhere) where a tin bath in front of the scullery (aka kitchen) fire was perfectly normal as there was no other bathroom in the house and the toilet was in a shed outside somewhere.

GingerFoxInAT0phat · 07/01/2019 13:43

My sister took me to her friends house when I was young and the dad was telling me that everybody in the house was only allowed 1 square of toilet paper for a wee and and 2 squares for a poo - I couldnt understand how it was enforced.

I went to toilet before we left and used loads of toilet paper Blush

arranbubonicplague · 07/01/2019 13:45

A bath in the kitchen? I have NEVER heard of that before

I lived in a flat in Vauxhall, London that had a bath in the kitchen...

Mind - some time later, I lived in accommodation in George X, Glasgow that had bed recesses (off the kitchen or another room) so no bedrooms and no bathroom.

LadyRochfordsHoickedGusset · 07/01/2019 13:49

My ex step-grandmother did the toilet paper rationing! I just ignored it.

She also bought Xmas presents for her dgcs but made sure I never did receive one as I wasn't of the blood. Nasty old bat.

PennyArcade · 07/01/2019 14:06

Poundoflard. No. It was just there next to the cooker. No cover and not very clean. In fact the whole kitchen was pretty dire, paint peeling off the walks and very cluttered. It was a normal terraced house. The weird thing was when I first saw Hyacinth Bouquet she reminded me, a lot, of bf's mother.

Obviously very different standards!

BertieBotts · 07/01/2019 14:27

Hahaha we had that toilet paper rationing when I was a kid - I never questioned it. I dread to think how much toilet paper DS1 uses, perhaps I should ration him :o

IrmaFayLear · 07/01/2019 15:12

I once went somewhere near Venice and by the loos was sitting a very elderly lady shouting "How many?!" to people in the queue. People were shouting back, "Uno!" or "Due!" and being handed one or two sheets of loo roll. You can only imagine the shame of any poor sod forced to bellow "Venti!" in front of everyone.

PerfectPeony · 07/01/2019 15:21

Lolo and Chester the holiday thing isn’t that weird at all I suppose. They just had different priorities. They were a lovely close family and they liked being at home.

Yep we would lock our bedroom doors when going to use the loo or leaving our bedroom, to stop step sibling from stealing Confused. Such a weird thing to do I’m extremely resentful that our Mum let us live like that!

I love this thread though. It’s given me confidence that when DD is older and brings friends back we might be considered normal. Grin

FatandSassy · 07/01/2019 15:35

We are probably the odd family.

The kitchen door in our house was removed because the fridge wouldn't fit in. The living room door was removed because the children were awful for slamming it. The bathroom doors are gone as they were on sliders (weird) and they broke and I never got round to replacing them, they currently have a set of shower curtains each. We will replace them.. eventually!

We don't share takeaways, ever. And I have chips with everything takeaway. Chinese + chips, Indian + chips, Thai + chips Grin

We have 4 and 1/2 cats (the 1/2 is one that actually lives up the road but spends more time here than there). They're on all the worktops, beds etc, we don't have litter trays but there's no way of keeping them off the kitchen worktops, don't think the house smells like cats though. Always wipe the sides down before cooking etc. And cats are fed on the floor, bowls removed once empty, I never keep out manky cat food bowls.

My mum keeps her cat food bowls on the side - disgusting old food in bowls that never get changed. And a jug that she keeps water in just for the cats - it's literally green and got fluffy green stuff on the inside but she refreshes the water every day or so and the cats are perfectly healthy and only drink out of that so it must be fine, knocks me sick seeing it.
I have read somewhere (online so it must be true, obvs) that cats will only eat or drink in the one specific place. It's true of two of mine, they will only drink a fresh bowl of water if they see me fill it and pit it out for them. They won't drink it otherwise. The others will only drink outside. Because they're little catty assholes. Grin

When I was with my ExH, the children weren't allowed friends round to play or stay over. They weren't allowed overnight stays out either. If anyone came round they had to phone first and let us know in advance or the door didn't get opened. The kids weren't allowed in the living room after 8pm as that was "grown up time" and they had to be in their rooms by then. He was an absolute arse, that man.

abacucat · 07/01/2019 15:35

arran That is an old room and kitchen. Lots of working class families lived in them in the fairly recent past. Two parents plus all their kids.

FatandSassy · 07/01/2019 15:35

Oh, and we never went on holiday as children.

BitOfFun · 07/01/2019 15:43

I've been in houses where the bathroom is downstairs off the kitchen, but there's a partition between them. The thought of seeing a plumbed-in bath next to an oven has just really tickled me. Nowt so strange etc etc.

Flooffloof · 07/01/2019 16:30

I suspect the non-sharers are also the picky eaters so would be likely to only want the blander dishes like patatas bravas and chicken croquettes and wouldn’t touch anything more exotic

Hmm no I love a decent kolhapuri chicken dish, I don't want it tainted by a bloody Korma thanks.
I'm not keen on much Chinese but the thought of my dish contaminated by sweet and sour sauce makes me ill.

TheRealJoseph · 07/01/2019 16:34

Re:- The bath in the kitchen.

No. 6 of the Rhyd-y-car terraced cottages (St. Fagan's Museum) has a bath in the kitchen.

darksideofthemooncup · 07/01/2019 16:38

We had a bath in the kitchen when I was growing up, it had a curtain round it and the toilet was a separate little room just off the kitchen. Eventually my dad made it into a room by building plasterboard walls so the kitchen was a funny shape.
This was a Victorian built townhouse in Ealing

Walkingthedog46 · 07/01/2019 16:54

My mum had a bath in the kitchen up until 1980 when she sold the house. There was a large lid over the top which lifted off when she had a bath, but when in place was a handy surface as the kitchen was quite small. It was a small two up, two down terrace house.

longwayoff · 07/01/2019 16:57

Most - all? - Peabody Housing Trust flats had a bath in the kitchen beneath a removable table top. This was the height of modernity in the early 1900s and very desirable for families who had rarely seen a bathroom. Many had never seen a lavatory.

TheRealJoseph · 07/01/2019 17:00

My mum had a bath in the kitchen up until 1980 when she sold the house. There was a large lid over the top which lifted off when she had a bath, but when in place was a handy surface as the kitchen was quite small. It was a small two up, two down terrace house.

Very similar to the No.6.

IrmaFayLear · 07/01/2019 17:15

When my grandparents graduated to a house with an indoor bathroom as well as a privy outside, my granny decreed that "No Business" was to be done in the house, only in the outside loo.

Dm wondered years later whether she was the only one who dutifully abided by this rule...

ChesterGreySideboard · 07/01/2019 17:15

I’ve seen some crop up on Homes Under The Hammer where the house has been untouched for years and there is a bath under the worktop in the kitchen.

ThePollutedShadesOfPemberley · 07/01/2019 17:23

Babysitting for three kids of a neighbour when I was in my teens. It was bloody freezin in that house. The two older boys put themselves to bed but I went up with the young DD. The boys had one blanket each and no pillows or anything but mattress under them. The DD's mattress was soaked in frozen piss! I called my Mum and she came over to see the state of the place while the parents were rinking their heads off in the pub. She brought the kids a load of our old bedding and rang the pub to tell the parents to get home now or she would come down there and shame them in front of everyone. She caused a right ruckus. The kids were cared for vaguely better after I feel but not by much I imagine.
I remember they were using a pair of the DHs old underpants as a dishcloth. That fact never left my mind and all of this was 30 years ago now. I guess the fact they got a babysitter rather than leaving them home alone was something?

Shockers · 07/01/2019 17:59

I viewed a cottage with the bath (pink) plumbed in on an upstairs landing/corridor. We also noticed a large cannabis plant in one of the flower beds. The occupier had a look of the swarthy chap in Crocodile Dundee when we first viewed, but the second time he was in full makeup and a dress.

Lots of potential, but the work needed would’ve been out of our budget as first time buyers.

Slipperboots · 07/01/2019 18:06

MIL would keep any tins that had meat in them in the fridge, tuna, beans with sausages etc.
When she was older it was hard to shop for her as she would refuse more food as her fridge was ‘full’.

She also would not open windows and rarely curtains if she could help it. FIL was also a heavy smoker, the place smelled and she had plug ins everywhere.
Although she cleaned the main areas of the house she didn’t clean DHs bedroom for decades.
It was absolutely thick with dust especially in the carpet and I got chest infections from staying in it.

dontneedthedrama · 07/01/2019 18:13

I used to work with someone who told me shared a bed with her mum . They lived in a room of her aunties house with a load of cousins. I said it's like the Walton's. she used to tell me about her cousins who 1 had been ex spelled from school another who was terrorising a neighbour and another who would steal from her Shock. They had cats and dogs in the house too .She told me the housing association were trying to evict them due to the terrorising of neighbour and non payment of rent . One time I gave her a lift home and outside her house was load of young lads stood outside smoking, the kind you would possibly feel threatened by . She was a lovely girl and I felt really sorry for her I tried to give her advice to try and get her own place with her mum , she got sacked from where I worked not long after and unfollowed me from social media but I always think I hope she's ok . It's sad how some people live .

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