Overnight guests...

[ThousandCows]

We don't have a spare bedroom, so any overnight guests stay in the lounge. No sofabed - it's either a (single) camp-bed or double thermarest-type thing on the floor.

We have a toddler who's a good sleeper, but up for the day at 6am. And a baby, who wakes 2-3 times a night, and then is up from 5am - I usually go into the living room at this point, so that DH can get another hour's sleep before getting up with aforementioned toddler.

I'm on maternity leave, but DH works long hours and on a working day, we probably get to spend about an hour with each other (cramming some telly and dinner into the same slot, so any actual conversation is a bonus ).

Anyway, I am a bit of an introvert and really dislike having ANY overnight guests - I get hugely stressed and uncomfortable about it as I just feel like life is already pretty full-on... But we keep having regular(ish) requests from certain family members to stay over (despite their knowing the accommodation/logistics options). AIBU to not want overnight guests? Fully prepared to be told I'm a miserable cow

yanbu! our old houuse was tiny and when my dc1 was 5 months old we had some of dh's family come to stay. 2 adults in the lounge and 2 teenagers in the spare room. Our stairs were into the lounge and only way to the kitchen was through the Lounge so the only way to describe it was that they were really in the way!

The house was too full, it was too disruptive and it was a nightmare with a small baby who didn't sleep anyway.

We might have liked each other if not for the conditions 😬😬!

We have a bigger place now and it's better when people stay but I wish i had put my foot down then :(

He wants an easy life and for everyone to be happy - but YOU are not happy?

I hate overnight guests as well and we don't have a guest room either really (well, we have an extra room, but it's still full of boxes and other storage things and there isn't room for a bed in there). When people come, they can sleep in the lounge on sleeping mats, etc. they have to bring themselves. I think the whole offering your own bed is weird? It makes me uncomfortable when other people do it. I'd much rather just get a hotel or something or sleep somewhere random than kick someone out of their bed. Plus, we have two dc who come into our room during the night/in the morning and that would be more of a disruption to unknowing overnight guests that us being up early in the morning to rouse them from the lounge.

But the reality is if you want to sleep on the floor in the house of someone with two small children, you get up when the family gets up. So does your partner (who doesn't get to have a lie in while you try to keep the kids quiet elsewhere). So kids are up at 6-7am, my dh is, so are house guests. That's life unless you want to book a holiday cottage or hotel. There's plenty of coffee, but I can't be tiptoeing around everyone.

abacucat No cultural factors here! But I can see how that might affect someone's perspective on the situation.

EthelHornsby Hmm...yes... I suppose if I was BU then it would be unfair to keep offending others just to make me happy?! But the general consensus seems to be that IANBU. So he might now say it's a case of one person being unhappy (yours truly) or two (his family members, who both do a good guilt trip and seem to be able to make him feel pretty shit)

I've previously tried to take the line of "we don't negotiate with [emotional] terrorists", but DH finds that harder to stick to. Mostly because it always seems to come from his side of the family - mine are all very easygoing!